Teenage Dirtbag
by palewhite n icecold
Summary: Social status means everything when you're in high school. But what if you don't want it? Can you break rank without any consequences? A chilling story of self-discovery, psycho boyfriends and stoner misfits. Rated M for Drugs, Language and Lemons, OH MY!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_**Edward's POV**_

I awoke to the lyrical genius of James Hatfield screaming 'My World' through the clock radio on my night stand.

"The mother fuckers got in my head, trying to make me someone else instead. It's my world now. Mama, why's it rainin' in my room? Cheer up boy, clouds will move on soon. Heavy fog got me lost inside. Gonna sit right back and enjoy this ride. It's my world. You can't have it."

The song was completely appropriate, considering it was Monday morning and the beginning of yet another week of school and its methodical indoctrinations.

I slowly sat up, reclining against the headboard, mumbling curses at my empty room. My throat burning, dry from the large quantity of pot I had smoked the night before, I picked up the half empty coke bottle sitting on the floor beside me and took a swig. It was hot and flat and tasted like ass, but soothed my blazing esophagus just the same.

The clock read 6:30am and I huffed at the thought of having to start the day.

Maybe I could feign a sickness.

My brain immediately began searching for a plausible illness, when suddenly a belch rose up from my gut and out of my mouth. As I tasted last night's meal on my breath, a light clicked on above my head.

A slight case of food poisoning would be a perfectly feasible cover.

Mom knew I had eaten at the diner last night and also knew its reputation for rancid burgers and undercooked tuna casserole.

"Fucking brilliant," I complemented myself, before rising to my knees with a celebratory air guitar solo.

With my excuse decided, I sank back into my pillow, smiling at my clever inventiveness and the ensuing jerk-off session I was about to award myself.

"Hmmmm." My thoughts drifted to a certain female classmate that had been the inspiration of many a good fist fuckings. She was a sure thing. I could always count on her to have my dick hard and throbbing in under 5 seconds.

An image of her eyes came to mind and immediately I could feel myself pulse and twitch with need. It was then that I was forced to abort my mission of a slow and pleasurable experience, to begin the necessary course of action of relieving myself of the spasming steel that was tenting my pants.

My hand had already made its way inside my flannel pj's, and was aggressively stroking, when Esme burst through the door. Light suddenly assaulted me from every direction as she made her way in, flipping on switches and turning up blinds.

"Edward Mason Cullen! I have been calling you for the last 30 minutes. You're going to be late for school if you don't get your hind end up and in the shower."

Before I knew it, she had thrown back the blankets, revealing me at my most vulnerable state. I laid there with my hand down my pants, not bothering to hide what she had so rudely interrupted. She deserved the embarrassment, considering she just walked into a teenage boy's bedroom without knocking.

"I'm sick," I groaned, throwing my free arm over my eyes while the other held on to a sad deflated version of my once vibrant dick.

"I can see that," she mumbled disgustedly.

Quickly, she averted her eyes to the wall and took a deep breath. "But not too sick to go to school, so get off you lazy bum and high tail it to the bathroom. You've got 20 minutes."

With a menacing growl, I rubbed my eyes and face furiously with the palms of my hands and scraped my frustration through my hair with my nails. I could tell by her voice that my sudden case of food poisoning wasn't going to be enough to ensure my day of rest. School was inevitable.

God, I hated high school. It wasn't that I was academically challenged… by far. I was really quite astute. I hungered for learning and had a thirst for knowledge, but found that school didn't offer the kind of real life wisdom I truly craved. The idea of sitting in a classroom full of robots, listening to monotonous lectures being given by less than qualified professors, was unsettling. It irritated me that I had to waste my time with unimportant drabble, when I could be out on the road, living a real life, amongst real people, doing something… real.

As soon as I graduated, my plans consisted of:

1. Getting the fuck out of this Podunk town.

2. Getting a job.

3. Never looking back.

I got out of bed, letting out a loud growl to accentuate my distaste for mornings, and stumbled my way to the bathroom. I started my usual routine with a shit and a shower, bypassing the shave due to its needlessness. Whisker burn wasn't a concern of mine, considering the fact that I was absolutely pathetically without a girlfriend at this juncture of my painful life.

Don't get me wrong... my ability to get a girlfriend was not in question. I wasn't completely lacking in the looks department and could have had my pick of the skanks at school, but that's not what I wanted. There was only one girl that had caught my eye and, as far as she was concerned, I was no better than the dirt on the bottom of her shoe. If we were desserts, she would be creme brulee and I would be... jello.

Sifting through the dirty clothes on my bedroom floor, I pulled out a wrinkled pair of jeans and my favorite vintage Iron Maiden 'Killers World Tour' concert T-shirt... circa 1981. The cotton material had been overly washed in its many years of existence, to the point that it was as thin as onion paper and stretched just enough to fit me both perfectly and comfortably. My dad, Carlisle, had handed it down to me, his eldest and only son, along with his collection of playboy magazines from the same era. There was definitely something to be said for bare tits and spike collars.

As I descended the stairs and entered the kitchen, I was met by a wet dishtowel being thrown in my face.

"What is this!" Esme questioned accusingly, pulling it to my nose, forcing me to smell the offensive stain that darkened the previously bright yellow sunflower print.

I shrug my shoulders, the typical teenage response to any accusatory question.

"It's … bong water, isn't it?" She said it like it was a dirty word, as if she had just blurted out the "F" bomb.

My eyebrows furrowed, confused by her anger. "Isn't that what it's for?"

Did I not use the towel for its purpose?

I had gotten in late last night after spending a few hours at my buddy Jasper's house, smoking myself into oblivion. When I arrived home, unable to sleep, I sat in front of the TV and continued my conquest of seeing how much weed one could smoke without losing consciousness. I packed my trusty side-kick 'Tonto' with some of my best ganja and hit it until I completed my mission and dozed off into a pot-induced slumber. When I woke, sometime after the Andy Griffith Show, I saw that my bong had fallen on its side in my lap. And there, at the foot of the chair, was a puddle of brown ooze absorbing into the cheap tan carpet. I grabbed the first thing I could find, which happened to be the ornamental Sunflower dishtowel that had been hanging over the oven door for the last year, and began sopping up the stinky mess. If I had known the turmoil it was going to cause, I would have just used my shirt.

Mom had known about my recreational herb use for a while now, since my diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder about a year ago. I had always suffered from anxiety and found that I stressed over even the most insignificant things. It wasn't until my first Panic Attack, that I was taken to be evaluated by a psychiatrist who put me on anti anxiety medication along with antidepressants. I wasn't depressed and the only thing the meds accomplished was to make me feel like a zombie with no emotions, happy or sad. Pot, on the other hand, simply mellowed me out and made it almost impossible to focus on one subject long enough to over think it. Mom saw the difference it made in my day to day life and accepted my self-medicating, as long as (and I quote), "You don't end up like your cousin Sam, smoking crack and telling the cops that you're a werewolf that hunts and kills vampires."

The way I see it, if it comes from the earth then God put it there for our enjoyment, right? Right.

With my mother still berating me about that fucking dishtowel, I walked out the door and into the pouring rain. My head raised to the sky, eyes closed tight, I willed the relentless drops to wash away the day and the aching in my balls from the delicious dream I had last night staring me and a beautiful brown eyed girl tangled in sweat and...

Damn it! Why couldn't I have slept in just another 10 minutes? I shivered as I adjusted myself, shaking the thoughts from my head.

Soaked in the cleansing baptismal water, I slid into my '75 Chevy Malibu, my wet jeans fighting their way along the worn vinyl bench seat. The bobble-head Buddha sitting on the dash, smiled as I rubbed its belly wishing the car to start. Remarkably, it started on the first try and only slightly sputtered when I gave it more gas.

"Hopefully the rest of the day will be this easy," I thought to myself, taking a deep breath before throwing the car in reverse.

With a feeling of apprehension, I traced the sign of the cross on my chest and spun out of the mud and onto the highway. It wasn't that I was a religious guy, per say, but was willing to do whatever it took to get through another day in my own personal hell that was high school.

As I pulled into the parking lot and scanned the social spawning grounds, I couldn't help but notice the cornucopia of cliques grouped from one end to the other. At the far left, better known as 'Ft Knox', were the Jockstraps and Pom-poms with their Cadillacs and BMW's that mommy and daddy bought the rich fuckers. Next we had the parking lot for Nerds-R-Us where the geek-tards parked their more economically friendly vehicles. Passing them, you entered 'The Land of the Lost', which was a couple of rows dedicated to those for whom a social title did not exist. Because, really, no one knew they existed or gave a shit if they did.

As my car rumbled further down the lot, I couldn't help but smile at the familiar scent of stinking exhaust that signaled I was home. Mi casa was appropriately named the 'Junk Yard' and was filled with older modeled cars scattered haphazardly down the rows. The black ozone-eating smoke, pouring from their exhausts, undulated to the music that was pouring from their speakers and inviting me in.

As I cruised past, I saluted the losers, stoners and dirtbags for their part in the rebellion against the fucked up establishment and its even more fucked up code of conduct. Here we were, the home for wayward boys, the brotherhood of rejects and revolutionists alike.

I drove up and maneuvered my massive automobile into one of the parking spaces beside Jasper's fossil. Giving him a slight nod, I took a hit of the roach I had found in the ashtray, reciting, "Heavenly weed, Oh, how I've missed thee and thy intoxicating fumes."

I sat there, stoically stoned, dreading the day ahead and what it held for me. Would I be able to make it through another one of Mr Purdy's less than insightful lectures? Would I be able to overlook the jocks and their idiotic displays of male dominance?... Would I be blessed with the presence of my angel?

The later, got my blood rushing and my heart punding. If she would only notice me.

I stepped out of my car, releasing a long sigh, and made my way over to Jasper.

"Dude, you look like someone just stole your stash," he said, laughing at my misery.

"It's this!" I whined, waving my hand around like a mad man. "These people, the teachers, this institution… They're slowly sucking the life out of me. I'm smarter then most of the faculty here and annoyed by the fact that I have six more months before graduation. Maybe I should just drop out and get a full time job so that I can leave this town in a cloud of dust. I mean, why do I continue to subject myself to this kind of torture five days a week?"

At that moment, Jasper looked off in the distance and smiled a knowing smile. With his arm draped across my shoulders and a nod of his head, he answered knowingly. "Because of her."

As I followed his stare, my heart stopped beating.

There she was in all her glory, MY girl and star of my wet dreams, Bella Swan.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Bella's POV**_

The glowing red numbers of the alarm clock read 5:46am as I wrestled with my covers, finally throwing one leg over the top. Sleep never came easy for me and last night was no exception. I had laid awake, caught up in my own thoughts, trying to make sense of my life. Even now, my head weighed heavy on my pillow, filled with indecision after a long night of soul searching.

Hearing my dad's cruiser pull out of the drive, I leaned my upper body off the bed and ran my fingers through the dust bunnies underneath. I was in desperate need of the 'solace' contained inside of the small box for which I was searching, and couldn't stop the smile when my fingers were met by its cold tin.

I sat the box on my bed and lifted the top, while the unmistakable stink of skunk weed hit my nose. The aroma made me sigh as I packed my pipe and inhaled the thick smoke. The burning was almost intolerable, singeing my lungs, expanding them beyond their capacity. The numbness was welcomed as I closed my eyes, returning to my thoughts, holding back the tears that were inevitable.

I dreaded everyday that involved school and the pretentious group of social vampires I had to be around. I hated my life and all the false pretenses it was based on. I was a fraud. For months I had been pretending to be someone else, wearing a mask of contentment to hide my misery.

This distorted perception of me as the wholesome Ms. Perfect, hanging off the star football player's arm, was tiring. Little did they know that I was really just a teenage dirtbag that enjoyed weed and the guilty pleasures of thrasher metal and junk food. I ate like shit due to the fact that I was an emotional eater.

Surrounded by the thick numbing smoke left by my 'solace', I nodded my head in acceptance as I realized what I had to do. My high began to dissipate as the reality of what I was planning to do took its place. I needed absolution. I needed to surrender myself at the foot of the sacrificial altar to show my penance. But first things first, I needed to rid myself of the source of all my discontent. My boyfriend, Jacob, had to go.

I slowly began to doze off when the sobering buzz of the alarm clock jolted me back to consciousness.

This was it, the day of a reckoning. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as if it was the last breath I would get today.

"No more pretending," I whispered to myself, as if saying it out loud would reinforce it.

I went to the bathroom, stopping at the mirror to lightly rub the dark circles under my eyes. I had read somewhere that excessive stress makes women look more haggard and; therefore, makes them age prematurely.

In that case, I should easily be able to pass for retirement age. With that in mind, I hopped in the shower to finalize my plans.

The morning flew by, and before I could get one leg in my ripped jeans, I was being summoned by a horn blowing relentlessly in my driveway. Jacob wasn't known for his patience or generosity. There was no giving with him, and to expect a few more minutes to get ready was pointless.

I huffed and quickly threw on an old t-shirt and grabbed a poptart and Dr. Pepper from the fridge. Throwing my messenger bag on my shoulder, I tripped out the front door.

I swear I was the only person I knew who can trip over air.

As I fell in slow motion, I waited to be stopped by a pair of arms and instead was stopped by the cement porch. I landed on my hands and knees, not able to hold back the scream that ripped from my throat. After I had exhausted all reserved oxygen from my lungs, I inhaled deeply to try and muster the strength to pull myself up. That was when I heard the low chuckle coming from the driveway. There, resting against his IROC Z28, was Jacob being accompanied by his obnoxious cocky grin.

"Are you just going to just stand there laughing at me or are you going to help me up?" I yelled with all the pinned up rage I'd been holding in for too damn long.

He shook his head and slowly, ever so slowly, crossed over to me and held out his hand.

"Asshole," I scoffed, at his 'too little too late' show of valiance.

I wanted to smack that fucking grin right off his face, but instead smacked his hand away and pushed myself back up to my feet.

As usual, he didn't open the door for me or waste his breath with a salutation of any sort. This was the case on most mornings, the air thick and silent. This morning, thankfully, the silence gave me an opportunity to settle the breakup plan in my head before being side tracked by the harpies at school.

As we made our way down the highway, I looked down at his hand gripping my upper thigh possessively. God, how did I ever let things get to this point?

I had moved from Arizona, the summer before my senior year, to live here in Forks with my dad. Charlie was great, but worked a lot as one of the more dutiful police officers on the force. Not knowing anyone here, I mostly stayed to myself. This didn't bother me, but I guess, bothered my dad. He arranged for me to meet his friend's son, Jacob, and I skeptically agreed.

He was a tall, overly muscular guy with long dark hair and a sweet smile. At least, I thought it was a sweet smile. I later saw it for what it was, a counterfeit attribute that was used to get what he wanted.

We went out a few times, just the two of us, and he seemed nice enough. I quickly noticed a slight dismissive attitude when it came to me which caused me to questioned his feelings. This being my first relationship, I wasn't sure how it all worked. I knew chivalry was dead and remembered how my mom and dad acted towards each other when they were married. That in mind, I decided that this was how it was supposed to be. There wasn't an electrifying jolt that I had expected to feel when I met the person I was meant to be with, but dismissed the odd feeling as me reading too many classic novels. Seeing how happy it made my dad, I decided to concede to the notion of me and Jacob.

Once school started I began to see him in a different light. I had never noticed how shallow and conceited he was until I was around him and his friends. If they weren't talking about people outside their group, they were talking about each other behind their backs. I wanted to scream, "For the love of God people! Are we back in junior high?"

I had always had friends from every spectrum of the social scale, but not since I started dating Jacob. He was an obnoxious social climber. The only people he associated himself with were those on Forks High's A list, and this list only consisted of the athletically inclined and their cheer squad.

By the time we arrived at school, I had pinpointed the exact time and location the breakup would occur.

At lunch I would ask my friend, Alice, for a ride home after school. I assumed Jacob wouldn't want me in his car after what all I had to say to him. Also, I didn't want to do it in public, so I would ask him to meet me in the meadow that was nestled in the woods behind the building. This was his preferred location when scheduling a make-out session and would cause the least amount of suspicion on his part. Thinking about all the times I had to act like I enjoyed his hand under my shirt and his boner poking me in my hip made me vomit in my mouth. He was always trying to find the key to unlock my legs and apparently he thought it was in my bra.

I stood beside him, looking around the lot at the clusters of groups scattered here and there and wondered where I would fit in once I was no longer with Jacob. My eyes being pulled to the other end of the lot, settled on a tall figure standing with his hands in his pockets. He was the epitome of perfection, a god-like statue of a man. As my eyes ran their way up the length of his body, I was startled to see that he was returning my stare with a crooked smile spreading across his face.

Does he know me? I thought to myself.

My brain began running through its catalog of familiar faces. His chiseled features and perfectly unkept hair were something I would have remembered. I couldn't help but imagine running my fingers through the mess and forcefully pulling him to me, feeling his body against mine.

What the hell was that all about?

Just as I began to feel consumed by him, I was jolted from my silent reverie by Jacob's obnoxious voice saying my name jokingly. I turned to him just as he began telling everyone about my very ungraceful fall this morning, breaking into fits of laughter. I blushed with embarrassment and looked down at my feet hiding my face behind my hair.

Once he earned a few laughs at my expense, he threw his arm around me to anchor me at his side.

"My little Bella, she could trip over the lines on a basketball court," he snickered, his compassion being lost in translation.

The last bell rang, signaling the start of the school day and the end of his hurtful badgering. I marched myself past him and up to the front doors, needing to distance myself before I dumped his ass right then and there.

At that thought, a smile spread across my face as an image flashed in my head of me, pulling into school in my old beastly truck with the sound of Mindless Self Indulgence's 'Stupid Mother Fucker' rocking out of my busted speakers.

This is dedicated to you, Jacob, the spokesman for stupid mother fuckers everywhere.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Edward's POV**_

I stared at her, savoring the sight before me, appreciating the view from my end of the teenage wasteland. She was a work of art, molded into perfection by God himself, and dangling in front of me like the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. I could look, but couldn't touch, and that fact only made me want her even more.

Like an addiction, I was enslaved to her, always trying to get the next fix. Since there was no way in hell that I would ever have any kind of chance with her, I was not above stalking. Not psycho stalking, per se, but more like pseudo stalking. It was really more like observing…with the occasional manipulation of circumstance.

As a general rule, I kept my stalking impulses at school, which I found to be very convenient. It was easy to find little ways to get close to her and I took full advantage of this fact. I often followed her to and from class, using the crowd of students as my cover, wincing every time she ran into the back of someone or stumbled into a trash bin. Sometimes, I was able to get close enough behind her that I could smell her strawberry scented hair.

Fuck, that smell drove me CrAzY.

Okay, so I guess my actions could be misconstrued as psycho stalking, but I didn't give a damn. It was all I had and all I was ever going to get. I mean, it wasn't like I was climbing through her window at night to watch her sleep, or reading her diary to get inside her head. I was harmless, only affecting myself, torturing myself to meet my own masochistic needs.

I was always walking along that very thin line between 'too close' and 'not close enough', and she was completely oblivious. She never once noticed me, not even when I purposefully put myself directly in her path at the library. I was pretending to read Virgil's The Aeneid, but watching her from behind the pages. As she walked past, I casually stood to replace the book in its spot on the shelf, causing her to run into me head on, dropping her books at her feet. I leaned down to help her gather them and steadied myself, waiting impatiently for her to finally raise her head and acknowledging me. But, she didn't. Instead she kept her head down, quickly scooping the books up before I had a chance.

"I. Am. So. Sorry," she apologized to the floor, and then whispered under her breath, "I'm such a fucking idiot." She immediately stood and took off through the door. She was embarrassed and didn't even give me the pleasure of watching her blush.

Was I really that invisible to her?

This morning as I looked her over, working my way up and over her body, I drank in her beauty. She was flawless, perfect… except for the hideous tumor that was attached to her side. And by tumor, I mean her douche of a boyfriend, Jacob Black.

Watching him, hover over her, eyeing her like she was something to eat, made me sick to my stomach. I suddenly felt the urge to knock him on his Neanderthal ass and take my rightful place at her side.

If I could have just one taste of her, one tiny taste, maybe it would satiate this insatiable appetite. Or maybe, it would only ignite a hunger that could never be truly satisfied.

What ever the outcome, I was willing to risk it.

I stared at her intently as she turned and faced my direction, her eyes settling on me. They looked me over, exposing me for the insecure little boy that I was. I felt naked, standing vulnerable to her exploring eyes. As they roamed over my body, I couldn't stop the slight smile from forming on my face once our eyes met. She was looking at me… AT ME! My dick sprung forward and I had to use my pocketed hand to hold it down. Just as I was getting comfortable under her stare, her face flushed red and abruptly turned away from me.

"Oh shit! She saw my boner!" was my immediate thought. Or, was she just disgusted by this obvious loser, ogling her with desperation?

Suddenly, a look of dejection shot across her face as her eyes shot to Jacob, then down at her feet. She was obviously embarrassed by whatever Jacob was saying. He was doubled over in a fit of laughter, pointing at her, as his friends circled around them, rapt in his story. What the hell was he saying about her?

I envisioned myself hurdling over cars, making my way toward him, using my fist to stop the blasphemous words that were coming from his mouth regarding my angel.

She looked so small and frail as I watched her hide behind her long hair. The fact that he made her hide her beautiful face from me, only reinforced my hatred for him. He was a fucking imbecile who was completely oblivious to what he had.

I was absently taking a step in their direction, when I was snapped out of my thoughts by Jasper, throwing his fist into my arm.

"The fuck, Jasper! What the hell was that for?" I asked sullenly, rubbing the frog out of my bicep.

"You're fucking whipped, man. You're drooling over this chick that you have a one and a million chance with and it's pathetic."

That sobering truth hit me hard, but I jokingly returned, "So, you're saying there's a chance?"

He just shook his head and shoved me forward as we laughed at my hopeless situation.

Once I stepped through the front doors of school, my nose was quickly assaulted with the stench of chalk dust and raging hormones.

God, and to think I was one of them.

Just to emphasize the fact that I had now entered hell, my eyes landed on the quarter back and prom queen going at it against a set of lockers in the hall. He was pushing her against the locker with her leg hiked up, resting on his hip, practically fucking her right there in the hallway. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. It was like watching National Geographic's documentary of the mating rituals of the Grizzly Bear.

Being stoned out of my head, I began hearing the soothing voice of Sigourney Weaver, narrating the scene before me.

'The male approaches the female voraciously, cornering her with his massive body. She at first rejects him, fighting him off with lazy paw swats and playful growls. This display of courtship develops into aggressive advances by the male who charges and bites the female into submission against school property, the back seat of his Jeep, or the old musky couch in his parents' basement. This eventually progresses into a savage copulation, ending with the male releasing his load on the female's stomach and passing out on her tits.'

Lost in my own world, staring at them in fascination, I suddenly realized that they were no longer groping each other; but instead, looking at me in disgust. My eyes quickly averted themselves to the floor as I awkwardly shrugged my shoulders at them and sauntered away.

As I watched my chucks move across the black and white checkered flooring, I was stopped by a brick wall... Or, at least, I thought it was a wall. It definitely stopped me dead in my tracks like a wall.

A set of hands grabbed the front of my shirt as I stumbled and looked up, into the face of my nemesis, Jacob Black.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, Loser," he said as he eyed me up and down.

Looking over his shoulder, I saw Bella pulling at his arm trying to get him to release me, a look of alarm on her face.

Was she worried about Jacob getting in trouble or was she worried about me getting hurt? I couldn't tell. My eyes moved from her, and down to his hands gripping my T-shirt. I felt the rage before I heard it, moving up from my gut and out of my mouth in the form of words.

"Fuck you, dick!" I spat out, pulling myself from his grasp.

My eyes widened, as I prepared myself to run.

I may be a masochist, but I'm not a complete fucking idiot.

Just as I was about to take off, Mr. Banner, my biology teacher, walked in between us. He eyed us, before asking, "Do we have a problem, boys?"

"No sir," Jacob replied through clenched teeth, glaring at me with contempt.

"And you, Edward?" Mr. Banner turned toward me, waiting for my answer.

Do I have a problem? Hell yeah, I have a problem! He's dating MY GIRL and could quite possibly be using steroids, because he is unnaturally enormous, and I hope it makes his balls shrivel up and fall off.

This was what I was thinking, but instead, "No problem, Mr. Banner," came running out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea.

He turned us both in the direction of our classrooms and gave us a firm pat on our backs, saying, "Good. Now let's get to class, shall we."

Jacob glared at me one last time and turned toward Bella, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her to him. She turned to me and mouthed the word "sorry" and darted her eyes at Jacob while he was busy laughing with his friends. I could have sworn I saw a look of disgust as she stared him down.

I walked into my first class, which just so happened to be Biology, with Mr. Banner. He simply gave me a nod as I walked past him, taking my seat at the back of the room. My lab partner, Alice, was busy looking at herself through her compact mirror, attempted to smooth out her spiky hair.

Alice was a member of the cheer squad, but a little more tolerable than the rest of them. I mean, she wasn't bitchy, but she wasn't overly nice either. If I said something to her, she didn't ignore me and sometimes she even added to the conversation.

If anything else, we could always rely on Mr. Banner's overly excited attitude toward Biology, to give a something to discuss.

Last week, he was explaining Cell Biology, starting his lecture enthusiastically wide-eyed.

"Knowing the components of cells and how cells work is fundamental to all biological sciences. Appreciating the similarities and differences between cell types is extremely important to the fields of cell and molecular biology as well as to biomedical fields such as cancer research and developmental biology."

By the end of his rant he was so excited, his breathing was erratic and there a look of madness in his eyes. Alice leaned over and whispered, "I think he just jizzed his pants with that one."

I couldn't help but look down at his zipper, and I'd be damned, he had a hard-on. No Shit!

At the end of class, Jasper was waiting for me at the door, holding his fingers to his lips, holding an imaginary joint, silently asking me to join him in a toke. Alice walked out before me, and as soon as she passed by Jasper, his eyes locked in on her ass.

"Da-amn!" he whispered, grabbing his junk and biting his lip. I just shook my head, as I watched the pixie turn to him, rolling her eyes, before settling them on his. Just as her mouth opened, preparing to tell him off, it shut and formed into a wicked smile. Without a word, she turned and walked away, shaking her ass exaggeratedly, throwing him one last glance over her shoulder.

"I believe I've just seen the devil herself," he said, once outside, as he lit the joint.

"Why do you say that?" I questioned, amused.

Taking a hit and inhaling deeply, he explained, "The devil uses flesh to tempt the soul," then releasing the thick smoke in my direction, he finished, "She tempted me alright."

"It's good to know that I'm not the only one."

"What does that mean?" he asked, confused.

"Dude, she's a fucking cheerleader. She's as far out of your reach as Bella is to me. Your chances with her are… How did you put it? Oh yeah…. One and a million, remember."

Using my own words against me, he said, "So, your saying I've got a chance."

After a good laugh we walked back in and resumed our day in hell.

_**Bella POV**_

The day was passing by way too quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for lunch.

I was starting to get really nervous about the task ahead. Not that I was second guessing myself, I definitely wasn't, but I needed more time to think of what I was going to say to Jacob and was beginning to worry about how he would react. He could be a real hot head sometimes, all brawn and no brains. The thought of breaking up with him, in the meadow while we were alone, was starting to sound like a bad idea. But, I had no choice. I hated him, but I didn't want to humiliate him in front of the entire school, and maybe being in such a tranquil place, would give me a chance to talk to him civilly.

He had never done anything to make me think he would hurt me, but he had a temper and I had seen it first hand. A prime example was the encounter he had with the Adonis in the hallway. If Mr. Banner hadn't have stepped in when he did, Jacob would have pummeled him to the ground.

I shook my head at the thought of my unreasonable infatuation with the Adonis of the parking lot, and made my way to the cafeteria.

"Bella! Over here!"

I looked up to find Alice yelling from across the room. She was standing on a chair waving her hands, apparently afraid that I couldn't hear her. I laughed at her subtleness, or lack there of. Even though she only stood 4'9", she made up for the lack of height with personality. She was confident and bubbly, standing out like a diamond, outshining the rest of the rhinestone cheer bitches. I could always count on her honesty, and was someone that I could trust, which was exactly what I needed at the moment.

Looking over at the table where she stood, I couldn't help but notice Rosalie, sitting in Emmett's lap, sucking his face off. My appetite immediately left me, and seeing Jacob at the table with his big toothy grin, made we want to retch out any remaining food yet undigested from breakfast.

I slowly walked over to our table, wearing my best 'sick face', which wasn't hard to do as long as I was looking at him.

"What's wrong, Bella? You look like shit," Alice asked with concern.

I looked at her and gave a quick nod towards to the door that lead outside. "Yeah, I'm not feeling well. Wanna go outside with me to get some fresh air?"

Understanding settled in her eyes as she got out of her seat.

"Suuuure," she drew out, wrapping her arm around my shoulders comfortingly, telling the others that we'd be right back.

As soon as we made it outside, she pulled away from me and threw her hands on her hips.

"You are a horrible liar. What the hell's going on?"

"I'm breaking up with Jacob after school," I answered quickly, as if he was going to bust through the door and hear me. Like he cared enough to see if I was alright.

"'Bout time," she said, rolling her eyes as if bored by the subject. "I don't know why you've waited so long. Do you enjoy torture?"

"I know, I'm an idiot," I said mostly to myself. "Anyway, can you wait for me in the parking lot after school so that I can catch a ride home?"

She looked at me questioningly. "You're gonna do it here? Today? Are you fucking crazy! 'Cause you know Jacob, and if you humiliate him in front of everybody, there's no telling what he'll do. He's the fucking Hulk, for Christ's sake."

"Alice, don't be so dramatic. He's not going to do anything. He's too conceited to act like he cares. He'll probably tell me he was going to do it if I didn't anyway. And, I'm not gonna tell him at school. I'm going to take him to the meadow so that we can talk it out like adults. It'll be fine," I said reassuringly.

"Now I know you're crazy. You know there's medication for that. How's 'bout we scratch out your little plan and you just leave a break up note on his windshield. That way you're far away from him when he reads it and starts looking for something to punch."

I huffed, "Come on, Alice, I need your help. Just do this for me, okay. I can't just break up with the guy without giving him an explanation."

She shook her head in defeat. "I'll give you 20 minutes, and if you not in my car by then, I'm coming to get you're ass."

Once that was settled, the door to the cafeteria swung open. There, with the sun reflecting off his copper hair, was my Adonis. I was vaguely aware of the blondie that was standing beside him, when I felt Alice jerk me back into the building.

"Damn it, Alice, you're gonna pull my arm off." I swear she was an ox trapped in the body of a faerie.

She was hyperventilating with her hand on her chest, smiling dreamily.

"What's going on?" I asked with suspicion.

She just shook her head and looked at the floor as if trying to snap herself out of the daze I was finding her in. "Did you see him, that hunk of a man that walked out with Edward? I saw him this morning standing outside of Biology. They must be friends. He was so totally checking me out and... I don't know... I liked it. And he is nothing like my usual type. I mean, did you see his clothes. I will definitely have to work on his style..."

She continued making plans with the boy that hadn't even asked her out yet, when suddenly, it struck me.

"Edward?" Was that my Adonis's name?

She looked up from the floor, breaking away from her own thoughts. "Yeah, he sits next to me in Biology. Why?"

"Oh, I was just wondering. I mean, I noticed him this morning in the parking lot. Then Jacob tried to pick a fight with him in the hall. It seems like he's been popping up a lot today after not ever seeing him before."

Alice started laughing, hysterically. "You think he's hot!"

"What? No, I've just noticed him a lot today." I started remembering his face, his chiseled jaw and luscious lips, and got lost in my thoughts.

"Did you notice his nice lips? I bet he could make a girl beg for mercy with those lips." Did I just say that out loud?

"Girl, you need to get laid," Alice snorted, as she poked her finger through the circle she made with her other hand.

She can be so juvenile.

My eyes widen. "Alice, I'm trying to get rid of one boyfriend. I don't need another one." Although, Edward would be at the top of the list of possible candidates, when I decided I was ready again.

"Who said anything about a boyfriend, Bella? I'm talking sex… with Edward."

I shook my head "I'm not ready, and who's to say he would even be interested."

The thought of it made me blush, and made me nervous, because I could actually see myself enjoying that little scenario. Not like Jacob, with whom I was miserable, and never could see myself with him in that way.

She quickly changed the subject as the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. I ran over to Jacob as he was picking his tray up from the table.

"Hey, Jacob, umm… Can we take a walk to the meadow after school today, so we can talk?" I asked, stressing the 'T' in the word talk. I didn't want him getting any ideas.

He lifted my chin with his fingers and kissed me, forcefully pushing his tongue between my lips. "We can definitely go to our meadow, but I don't know how much talking we're gonna do."

I forced a smile and fought back the nausea. Maybe the meadow wasn't such a good idea. Oh well, what's done is done. I was just going to have to focus on the task at hand once we got there, and not let him sway me.

If I lay it out on the table quickly, I won't have to endure his rough hands and dry humping.

I closed my eyes and pictured Edward's arm around my waist, as Jacob took hold of it, leading me to my next class.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Bella's POV**_:

I got through the rest of the day without a hitch, and unfortunately, without the vaguest idea as to how I was going to break it off with Jacob. The idea of doing it through his voice mail, was sounding pretty enticing, but the thought of being so callous made me push the idea out of my head. No, I had to do it right. I had to make him understand my side. Even though he was an asshole, I at least owed him that.

I sat through my classes in a zombie-like daze, cogitating the best way to say it, and exactly what I was wanting to say. I didn't want to piss him off, but wanted him know, without a doubt, the reasons for my decision.

There were three things I knew for certain:

1. He was a suck-ass boyfriend.

2. He was a conceded douche.

3. My distaste for him was irrevocable.

I sat in English, my last class of the day, listening to the tick-tock of the clock, biting my thumb nail anxiously. The skin around it had become tender and I could taste a small hint of blood as my teeth ripped it to the quick. I couldn't stop. My nerves were wound tight. I could feel the beginnings of a cramp threatening my right calf, as my knees bounced relentlessly underneath my desk, hitting the gum riddled wood.

"This is it, no turning back," I thought to myself, nearly jumping out of my skin as the bell sounded, signaling the unavoidable.

I walked out of class and down the hall to my locker, taking my time, trying to build up the courage to complete my dreaded mission.

As I approached it, I saw Rosalie standing there waiting for me, a disturbing scowl marring her flawless face.

For someone so beautiful, her temper could make her equally ugly.

I thought about bypassing my locker, and Rosalie, but immediately thought better of it. Rosalie was a force to be reckon with when she wasn't angry, and to piss her off intentionally was something that you didn't do willing.

As I approached her, I gave her a small smile, a peace offering to smooth over whatever I had done to cause such fury. She wasn't having it, and before I could utter a word, she spat out, "Are you crazy?"

I looked at her, confused, wondering what the hell she could be talking about.

"Why is everybody asking me that question today?" I asked, frustrated.

Moving to stand directly in front of me, Rosalie lowered her voice, darting her eyes around the hall, and hissed out, "Alice told me about your little plan after school. What the hell are you thinking?"

I rolled my eyes, huffing out my irritancy for my so-called, trust-worthy, best friend. Why did Alice have to tell her?

Rosalie was a friend of mine, but had the same mentality as the other cheer-bitches. She was a member of the hierarchy in school and knew what this would do to my reputation and, since we were friends, her reputation.

"Bella, you know that if you do this, your reputation will be at stake. Jacob will see to it that you are cut off from the rest of the group as a social leper. You'll be back in your bedroom with your book collection and no life. Is that what you really want?"

The thought of sitting in my room enjoying a good book without the interruption of someone trying to feel me up, made me smile, until I realized what she was saying.

"What are you trying to tell me, Rose? You won't be my friend if I do this?" I asked, hurt by her admission.

Rosalie looked down at her hands, playing with the gold bracelet that Emmett gave her for their 5 year anniversary.

"I have a good thing going on here, Bella. I'm captain of the squad and girlfriend to one of the star football players. If I'm implicated in your decision, it's not just you that will be affected." She looked up with apologizing eyes. "I'm sorry, but I think you're making a big mistake."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was seriously ending our friendship over... what? The fact that I didn't want to date a dick that saw me as nothing other than tits and ass.

I simply rolled my eyes and walked off holding back the tears that were building. I was mentally kicking my own ass.

Why didn't I do this sooner, before everything got so screwed up and I had so much to lose?

I resumed my steps towards the back door, like a mad woman on a mission. There was nothing that was going to stop me now, not even the threat of losing Rose. If she was serious about ending our friendship because of him, I didn't need her. She was essentially choosing him over me, and that realization only spurred me on. He had such a hold over everyone in that school and I was bound and determined to make sure he never had that kind of hold over me again.

Reaching the edge of the woods, I took in a deep breath, trying to rid the shaking in my legs and the lump in my throat.

I can do this. I have to do this.

As soon as I realized I was frozen in my place, unable to move forward, my panic struck. I tried taking a step forward, but glancing around at the isolation of the thick forest, my legs wouldn't move and I could feel myself holding my breath. I was suddenly... scared.

I closed my eyes and forced myself to think about all the times he laughed at me, and belittled me; all the times he made me feel as though I was just a piece of meat.

That thought was all it took. I suddenly had a surge of courage rush through me and was able to take a step forward. Just as my foot moved in front of me, I heard Jacob's voice swoon my name deep inside the dense forest.

"Beeeeelllllllaaaaa," he called, making the hair on the back of my neck rise along with the bile in my throat.

Still, I progressed forward, and after several minutes, approached the line of trees that surrounded the meadow. Cautiously, I stepped inside the clearing, darting my eyes to the center where Jacob would have been waiting. But, he was no where in sight. My only companion being the wildflowers and tall grass that colored the large meadow. Just as I was about to turn around, I felt arms circling my waist and something hard poking me in my back. I jumped, gasping for breath, and was spun around quickly in my spot. As soon I looked up, Jacob attacked my lips with his own and began pushing me backwards forcefully.

This can't happen, I don't want this to happen.

I had to stop his advances before it got to far, and he got out of hand. I was finally able to wedge my arms between us and press my hands against his chest, effectively pushing him off and away from me. I was sure that he let me, considering that when I had tried this before, I wasn't able to move him in the slightest.

"God Jacob! Is that all I'm good for?... Jesus!" I yelled with annoyance.

He never gave me a chance to say a word when I was with him. I was beginning to think that maybe he had trouble speaking English and that was why he hated dialogue. Or, maybe he was just too damn stupid to talk.

"Don't play innocent with me, Bella. We both know you want it. I've been watching you all day taunting me with that sexy ass."

He started walking toward me, looking at me with heavy eyes and an evil grin.

I backed away, holding up my hands in front of me. "I came here to talk, Jacob. Please just let me talk. I've got some things to say to you."

He stopped in his tracks looking agitated by my interruption. "Talk, talk, talk. That's all you ever want to do. I wish you liked to put out as much as you liked to talk. I'd really see some action then."

He scanned his eyes down my body while biting his lip and shifting himself.

I turned with my back facing him, playing with my hands, trying to find my voice.

"I've been thinking a lot lately... about us, and I, I don't think things are working out." I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes, waiting for him to speak.

Without warning, he turned me around roughly, and with a low voice, asked, "What are you saying, Bella." A strange look glazed his eyes.

I was taken back a step, surprised by the darkness in their depth, seeing his anger combined with his lust.

I quickly changed my strategy, feeling his rage bore into me.

"You and I are just two totally different people. I'm quiet, antisocial, and don't enjoy being in the spotlight. You're... not. You enjoy being watched and followed like an idol. I just don't think I'm good for you, I'm not what you need. I will only hold you back."

And there it was, everything I wanted to say, but edited and sugar-coated. The speech I had planned to make would have been a little more explicit and a lot less.. nice.

Opening my eyes, I couldn't stop the shiver that ripped through me. He was wearing an evil smile, and with a cocky tone, he asked, "Are you breaking up with me?"

He started stalking towards me, his smile contorting into a scowl. I backed away from him as he pursued me like a predator would his prey, that angry lustful look still glazing his eyes. Just as I was about to turn and run, I tripped on a root that was erupting from the ground, and landed hard on my back. In seconds he was on top of me, laying all of his weight on me, pinning me in my spot beneath him.

"You little bitch!" he spat at me, his hands and lips assaulting my body with anger and derision.

"I don't think you want to do that, Bella. I'll make your life a living hell and it will be as though you never existed." Laughing into my neck he added, "You can't imagine the cruel rumors that can be spread to ruin someone's reputation."

His words hurt, but not as much as his crushing body and angry hands. I was terrified. I never dreamed he would be like this. What did he care if he didn't have me? It wasn't like he ever made an effort to make me feel like anything other than his play thing.

That's when I felt it, him fighting for control over my body. It was like a light came on in my head. I realized what I had been missing, and why he was so upset. To him, he wasn't losing his girlfriend, he was losing his property. He felt I was his, in every sense of the word. He owned me and wasn't about to give me up.

In horror, I screamed, "Jacob, get off of me! please! You're hurting me!... Oh God, Help!"

_**Edward's POV**_:

After school, Jasper and I, met at my car for some much needed lovin' with our girl, Mary Jane. This was a daily ritual we found necessary to get our heads on straight after having them force-fed unnecessary information that would never be used in the real world.

Like knowing the date of Napoleon's death would help me get a job, anymore than knowing the answer to (6 tan 2 x - 2) (2 tan 2 x - 6) = 0 would help me wipe my ass.

Passing the joint between us, we sat in comfortable silence, watching the number of the cars in the parking lot begin to dwindle.

As I looked around, I noticed Alice's little yellow Porsche, still sitting in 'Ft Knox', and all alone.

I still remember the first day she drove it to school. She actually had the nerve to complain to everyone in Biology that she had specifically asked her parents for a Tempest Blue Aston Martin V12 Vanquish... not a fucking flimsy-ass Porsche." Fucking rich bitches make me sick.

"That's you're girlfriend's car," I said, waving my hand in the direction of the obnoxious car.

Jasper's eyes widened. "You're fuckin' kidding me?" he said, taking a hit from the joint while trying to keep it from escaping his mouth."You're right, she is completely out of my league," he coughed out, along with the offending smoke.

We laughed hard at his comment, until we saw Alice step out and walk around to the back of the school.

What was she doing? The only thing that was back there was the practice field and some scary ass woods.

Jasper and I looked at each other, confused by what we saw. The corners of Jasper's mouth quickly turned up into a wicked grin, as he raised his eyebrows, revealing himself for the little devil he really was.

"Let's follow her."

I narrowed my eyes at him, suspicious of what he had in mind. "I don't know, man. There ain't shit back there but a football field and some fucking trees. The only reason I can think of, that she would be going back there after everybody was gone, would be to hook up with someone... like a dude. Then we'd catch her fucking some guy and you'll start crying and I'll have to baby your ass for the rest of the night, while you eat ice cream and watch some chick flick."

"Ha ha." He pretended to laugh. "Or... we would catch her making out with some chick, like your girl Bella, and we could make it a fuck-tastic foursome."

I laughed at the idiocy of his thoughts, and rolled my eyes, as we stepped out of my car.

"I can't believe we're doing this," I admitted over the sound of the car doors, groaning with the friction of rust on rust.

Before I knew it, Jasper was in front of me, hunched over in a stalking position, his hands grasped together using his fingers as a make-shift gun. I don't know if it was Jasper or my own mind, but I could vaguely hear the tune of Mission Impossible being hummed from somewhere around me.

God, we were high.

I followed his lead, pressing my back against the brick of the building, holding my own gun and waiting for him to signal that the coast was clear. As we rounded the corner, we saw that in fact the practice field was empty and there was no sign of Alice. Jasper, holding his imaginary pistol in his right hand, used his left to signal toward the tree line that encompassed the woods.

There was Alice, crossing the threshold, disappearing inside its vastness.

Jasper rubbed his hands together, saying, "I'm going in, but I'll have to break out my night vision goggles to follow her trail. Stay with me, Edward. There will be no man left behind."

To my surprise, and to his delusions, he formed goggles around his eyes with his fingers. We both peered through the thickness and just before we took a step forward, we began hearing desperate screams.

Dropping our goggles, I mean hands, we immediately took off through the woods, hurdling over brush and fallen trees. Finally, breaking through to a clearing in the woods, we saw where the scream was coming from. There, clutched onto Jacob's back like a spider monkey, was Alice. She was yelling and screaming, "Let go her her! You're hurting her!" trying to pull him off of Bella, who was shaking with fear.

Without haste, Jasper ran to Alice, lifting her off Jacob's back and ripping him off of Bella. Jacob landed on his back and immediately got to his knees to lunge at her again. With inhuman speed, I jerked her up and cradled her in my arms, shielding her from his wrath. She was trembling uncontrollably, throwing her arms around my neck and burying her face in my chest. If it weren't for the circumstances that we found ourselves in, I would have thought this was heaven. But, our heaven wouldn't allow such monsters as Jacob Black to enter through its gates.

Jacob got up slowly and let out a low chuckle. "Is he the reason you're breaking up with me?"

She hugged me tighter and buried her face deeper inside my chest, her body tensing and shaking. She cried harder and all I wanted to do was to take her as far away from him as I could. But, as I turned to leave, he laughed louder, throwing his hand in her direction, directing his words toward me.

"Go ahead, you can have the frigid bitch. But don't think you're gonna get anything out of her, I've been trying for six god damn months."

With that, Jasper, who had been looking down at Alice to assess that she was alright, looked up at Jacob from under his eyebrows and growled loudly. The inhuman sound that ripped from his chest, and the evil look that he held, made Jacob turn and take off through the forest. Once he left the meadow we heard him yell, "Remember what I said, Bella!" with venom in his voice.

Our journey back to the lot was silent, except for Bella's continued sobs. We walked to Alice's car and when I started to set her down on her feet, her arms tightened around me, refusing to let me go. Whatever she wanted, I was willing to hold her like this forever if she would let me. I hugged her closer and sat us on the the curb, rocking her gently, and running my hand through her hair.

Alice walked over to us and reached out to Bella. "Bella, let me help you," she almost begged, eyeing me curiously.

Bella's body tensed, and I shot my eyes to Alice as if to say "back the fuck off." I'm sure I looked like a caveman at that point, hovering over her protectively, daring anyone to make her move. But I didn't care. She had been through enough and I wasn't ready to let her go.

"Bella?" Alice asked, confused by her reaction.

There was no movement, other than the relentless tremors that had been shooting through her since I picked her up. Alice took the hint and walked back to her car.

As I rocked the sweet angel in my arms, I noticed Jasper and Alice talking inside her car and looking in my direction. I didn't care what they were saying. I was having my own internal dialogue about the many ways I'd like to kill Jacob Black. I could see the bruises already appearing on Bella's arms, and the marks on her neck from his lips and teeth were almost too much for me to take. I was physically ill at the thought that he could do something like this to her and had to fight the urge to gently kiss the bruises away.

After a few minutes, Bella's convulsions ceased and she was finally able to raise her head. When she looked up at me, my heart ached at the sight of her red swollen eyes.

"Thank you," she said. "I don't know what would have happened if..." Her voice broke, as she lost herself in thought.

Alice and Jasper emerged from the car and walked over to us. They had obviously been in deep conversion about Bella and I, and I was acutely aware of the wary look that Jasper was giving me.

"Bella, honey, are you okay?" Alice asked with concern.

"I, I think so, just st-still a little shaken," Bella stuttered, trying to look relaxed and failing miserably.

She looked back up at me and noticed her arms still tightly wrapped around my neck and I couldn't stop the small smile that broke on my face as she blushed a gorgeous shade of red. All too soon, she pulled away and stood up from my lap. My chest and legs felt ice cold and lifeless as her warmth left me.

"Come on, Let's get you home," Alice said, holding her hand out to her, narrowing her eyes at me.

Don't take it. Stay with me. I couldn't stop the thought from going through my mind, even though I knew it was just wishful thinking.

As Alice held her hand and led her to the car, Bella looked back at me with a look of...regret?

What would she be regretting? If anyone was regretful, it was me, for letting her go.

All I could do was watch, as she slid into the car and rode away with my heart in her hands.

Jasper sat down beside me and let out a loud breath. "There goes my buzz."

His hands moved through his hair as he turned to me and asked, "You alright, man?"

I simply shook my head and stood to my feet.

Of all the times I had dreamed of holding her like that, I never thought it would have been under these circumstances.

At that moment, I made it my mission to watch over her and never let him touch her again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

_**Bella's POV**_

Silence filled the car as Alice drove me, and my battered body, away from the scene of my degradation. My aching frame, stuck in defense mode, quickly curled in on itself, while Alice hastily navigated around each curve of the old road leading us away from school. When I let my eyes close in an attempt to slow the rapidly descending tears, images of Jacob's twisted face began to flash behind my eyelids like a strobe light. I was dizzy and disoriented, trying to find the light in the dark, not knowing which way was up. My hand moved to my forehead, feeling the thin sheen of cold sweat that had formed there from the nausea that was reeking havoc on my insides.

"Oh God, make them stop..." I said to myself, clutching my stomach and dry heaving uncontrollably.

"What can I do, Bella? Please, Tell me what I can do?"

Alice was panicking in the driver's seat, pushing the gas peddle down to the floor board, propelling us down the highway at an obscene rate of speed. Even though she didn't say a word, I could feel her involuntary reaction to my pain through the steering wheel that was clutched inside her tiny white knuckles. With each heave of my body, the car would jerk hard to the right, then steady itself between the lines once again.

I knew I had to try and relax, but each time I thought the convulsions had ceased, they started up again, more violently than before.

"Bella, you're really scaring me. Try taking some deep breaths or something." She then commenced to taking short rapid breaths, and breathing out in long hisses. "Oh shit, that's Lamaze... And you're definitely not pregnant. What the fuck am I doing?... I don't know... Fuck! I don't know what to do."

I was about to tell her to just shut the fuck up and let me have my own goddamn breakdown, when I heard her take in a deep breath and blow it out in a whoosh of air.

The next time she spoke, there was a noticable drop in both volume and panic, though the tremble in her voice was still there.

"We're almost to your house. I'll get you to Charlie and he'll know what to do," she said, easing her own mind, vexing mine.

"NO!" I grabbed the handle of the door and forced myself to sit up straight. If anything could have been said to make me snap out of the hell that I had hurdled myself into, that was it.

"No! You can't take me home, Alice. Please... I'm fine," I lied, swallowing the bile that had begun to rise in my throat and threaten the unsoiled surface of her floorboard. "I'm feeling better. Really."

Pull yourself together, girl! At least act like you have some kind of control... and you better make that shit look believable, or we're gonna have to go home and face Charlie.

I forced a smile and closed my eyes as I reclined back, resting my head on the back of the seat.

Okay, that's it... breath... breath.

I sat back, taking deep breathes, concentrating on my breathing and ignoring my erratic heartbeat. I set a steady pace, breathing in through my nose and out from of my mouth. This was a technique that Renee swore by... something to do with 'aligning your chokras' and 'rebuilding your energy'. She did it anytime she felt her life was spiraling out of control or if she was really, really pissed off at something I did and needed to get control of herself before she killed me. Right now I felt anything but in control. My body had totally abandoned me and my mind had apparently been hijacked by my sadistic EX-boyfriend.

Finally, by the time we were pulling off the highway, I felt my body begin to relax and noticed, for the first time since I had left the meadow, that I could actually form a clear and intelligible thought.

God, it seemed like hours had past since I had stepped inside the car, and it had only been... what?... ten minutes.

Alice reached out her hand, about to touch my face, when I felt my head recoil from her. My eyes pleaded with her to forgive me, while my head pressed against the window and out of her reach. I could see the hurt in her face, but at this point, I couldn't allow the contact. I didn't want to be touched by anyone, including her. I just needed my space, and little bit of... distance.

"Are you okay, Bella?" she asked, placing her hand tentatively back on the steering wheel, glancing over at me with concern.

All I could do was nod. Trusting my voice to mask my uncertainty, was a risk I wasn't willing to take right now.

Alice took a deep breath. "Bella, I really think you need to go to the hospital. I mean, your arms... " Absently rubbing her neck as she stared at mine, she simply stated, "There's bruising."

"No," I answered, shaking my head emphaticly. "I don't need to go to the hospital, Alice. It's just a few bruises. I bruise really easy anyway. I'll be fine."

There was no way in hell that I was allowing that. The fewer people that knew what had happened, the better. It was bad enough that Alice knew, not to mention Edward, who had witnessed my humiliation, pinned underneath Jacob like some tramp. All of a sudden, picturing how the scene might have looked to the average person, I felt... dirty. Had I asked for it? After all, I did lure him in, under false pretenses, shooting him down when it developed into something else. And if they hadn't have gotten there when they did, he would have finished what he had started, and people would have said it was my fault. That I had urged him on.

These thoughts took me back 3 years, to a memory I had pushed deep into the corners of my mind, dusty and wrinkled with time.

It was my freshman year at Union High, when I lived in Pheonix. Bree Tanner and I were in the same grade, and though we weren't close friends, we had several classes together and always made time to say 'hi' and talk about boys or school or clothes. She dated one of the most popular guys in our school, Riley Biers, who not only was hot, but had a brain to match his beauty. A girl would have given her right boob for the chance to go out with him, and here Bree was, the lucky girl who had him all to herself.

One Friday, in art class, Bree was telling all of us about the romantic date that Riley had planned for them. She was literally buzzing with excitement, and I can remember being so jealous at the time because I had never even been on a date, let alone one as romantic as the one they had planned. First, he was taking her to LON's, one of ritziest restaurants that Phoenix had to offer, where apparently his brother Royce worked as a waiter and could sneak them any kind of liquor they wanted. After that, he was taking her star gazing at Papago Park, a beautiful park located in the desert just outside city limits that was wide open to the skies above. There wasn't a bad seat in the place.

I can remember all the whispers from the other girls at school that afternoon... "She can kiss her cherry goodbye."... "I hope she doesn't leave out any good details, I bet he's hung like a horse". And I went right along with them, thinking, 'I can't believe she's going to do it... do IT '.

That Monday, after her much talked about date with Riley, Bree wasn't at school. The other girls and I had fun laughing about it, making snide comments about her 'sore coochie' and 'lack of sleep'. This went on until Friday, when I noticed she still hadn't come back to school. That afternoon I saw Riley at his locker, surrounded by his friends, laughing and cutting up as usual.

"Hey, Riley," I greeted, walking in between the herd of guys to stand in front of him.

His eyes looked at me questioningly, as he asked, "Aaaaaand, who are you?"

His question was embarrassing. I hadn't even thought about him not knowing who I was, or that I even went to the same school. It wasn't like we had the same circle of friends.

"B-Bella. Bella Swan. I have some classes with Bree. Is she sick or something? She hasn't been at school all week."

He started laughing... hard, and as I waited for his hysterics to subside, he finally got out, "Yeah, actually, she's been seen by a doctor..." and looking over at his buds, he added, "The love doctor." It was as if watching a pack of hyenas caught up in a laughing frenzy, all doubled over, enjoying the inside joke, that I obviously wasn't part of.

My eyes narrowed at him, and without asking anything else, I stormed away in frustration. I wasn't going to get any help from him.

That night, I couldn't get her off my mind and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I talked to her. Donned in my Smurf Pj's and gorilla slippers, I took off in my mom's car and found myself, 5 minutes later, in Bree Tanner's driveway. I had been there once before, working on an art project that we had been assigned partners on, and hoped that she wouldn't mind me stopping in for an unannounced visit. When I knocked on the door, I heard the sound of feet scrambling, and saw the silhouette of someone peeking out through the curtain. After several locks unlatched, the door finally opened.

The woman who stood before me was definitely Bree's mother; although a tired, frazzled version of the woman I remembered from my last visit.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, Mrs. Tanner. I'm Bella Swan. A friend of Bree's. I was wondering if I could see her?" I asked, looking down, noticing the pink slippered feet peeking from behind the opened door.

Bree's mom looked to her left and nodded her head. "Sure honey, come on in."

As I stepped in the house, Bree moved from behind the door and threw her arms around my neck and exhaled a long sigh of... releif?

What the hell's going on here?

"Bree?" I asked, caught off guard, slow to return her embrace.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" she asked, pushing away from me, peering out the door cautiously.

I looked behind me, wondering what or who she was looking for. "I just wanted to check on you... see if everything was okay. You were gone..." I didn't finish the sentence, waiting for her to tell me what was going on.

She took a step back and motioned for me to follow her. We walked down the long hallway to her room and I sat on her bed while she shut the door behind her.

"I haven't been feeling... well," she said, leaving a lot of unspoken words floating in the air.

I sat there, quiet, hoping she would explain and when she didn't, I asked, "Not feeling well? Are you sick?"

She just shook her head slowly, her eyes glued to the floor.

Confused by her answer, I decided to change tactics. "I talked to Riley today."

Her eyes immediately darted to me and I watched as her body went rigid and began shaking uncontrollably.

"W-what did h-he s-s-say?" She asked, closing her eyes.

"Bree, are you o..." Before I could finish, she yelled, "WHAT. DID. HE. SAY!"

I quickly shut my mouth, taken back by her anger. It was completely out of character and wasn't something I would have expected from her.

"I asked him if you were sick or something and he just made a stupid joke about you being seen by the 'love doctor'."

She fell to the floor and cried.

I held her that night, wiping away her tears, while she told me the whole story about her anticipated Friday night date that led to a bruised body and broken heart. She had been a victim of date rape, left alone to mend on her own, without even the comfort of knowing that he would pay for what he did. Riley got off, completely scott-free... No jail time, probation, not even a slap on the wrist. Her virginity wasn't the only thing he took from her that night. He took away her trust and her innocence, changing her permanently from the lively woman she was becoming, to a scared shell of the girl she use to be.

I shook my head, leaving my memories of Bree behind in the far recesses of my mind.

Even though what had happened between Jacob and I hadn't made it to that point, I could totally see how Bree must have felt. If Alice and Edward hadn't have made it to the meadow in time and Jacob had finished what he had started, I would be in the same position. It would have been his word against mine and everyone would have taken his side.

Alice broke me out of my silent reverie, smacking the steering wheel and yelling, "I knew it! I knew this would happen! He's such a fucking psycho!" And then, it was silent... until she blurted out, "Bella, you've gotta tell him. You've gotta tell Charlie. Please don't let Jacob get away with this. If you do that, it will be so wrong on so many levels," she fumed, focusing on her rage, and the road ahead.

"Tell Charlie? I can't tell Charlie. Are you crazy?" I looked at her as if she had 3 eyes. I wasn't about to tell Charlie and see the disappointment in his face. To be honest, I wasn't totally sure that he would even believe me, and I didn't think I would be able to take that kind of rejection from my own father. He and Jacob were tight, a lot tighter than we had been in over five years.

Alice glanced over at me, eyeing my bruises. "What are you going to do then? Charlie is a policeman, and noticing detail is kinda his thing. He's going to see the bruises and wonder what happened."

"Fuck, Alice, just let it go. I don't want to tell Charlie, I don't want to go to the fucking hospital, and I sure as fuck don't have a chance in hell in getting anyone to do anything about what Jacob did. He's practically a saint in this god forsaken town. I just want to forget about it... pretend it never happened. Why can't you understand that?"

Finding my strength again, after being without it so long, felt damn good. Feeling in control once again, I sat up straight and whipped my head around to glare at her, pushing my hair behind my ear, making sure that she could see that I was dead serious.

She looked at me hesitantly. " I don't like this, Bella... Not one bit. But, I will respect your decision and keep my mouth shut."

Huffing, I ran my frustration through my hair with my nails. "Good! Now, I'm gonna have to think of something to tell Charlie, to explain why I'm staying at your house tonight."

"Are you staying at my house?"

"Well, I can't go home," I said, sarcastically raising my black and blue arms up to her face.

Her eyes fell to the road, and a look of guilt spread over her face from my words.

I hated this. I hated arguing with her. She was my best friend and was all that I had right now. She was the one that would help me forget what had happened and cruise along with me down the road to recovery. She was my wall, my world, and I owed her everything right now.

"Besides, who else has the mad skills to cover these things up before school tomorrow?" I offered her, as a peace offering, knowing that allowing her to touch any part of my skin with makeup would be a dream come true for her.

She took in a long breath and narrowed her eyes at me, and without missing a beat, she began making plans for the evening, mumbling off something about chocolate and facials. I cringed inwardly at the thought of all the girlie talk, but plastered on my best simulated smile, nodding when necessary as if I was just as enthused as she was.

As soon as I was sure that she was completely engulfed by her OCD, I risked a glance at my arms and wrists, wincing at the kaleidoscope of colors that were beginning to grow in size. It hurt like a mother fucker, but underneath all the pain and humiliation I was feeling, there was also a feeling of relief. I had survived and won my battle for freedom and tomorrow was going to be a new day, void of deceit... and Jacob.

Lost in my thoughts, I was distracted when I heard the gravel crunching underneath the tires as we pulled into her driveway. I could see that Alice was still worried about me, and as we entered her house, I watched her eye me, appraising my mood. I forced a weak smile and said, "I'm fine, Alice... Really."

For the most part I was, but was emotionally drained and having trouble holding myself up, both mentally and physically. I knew I couldn't fold in on myself and hide from my demons. They would only find me in the end, but the idea sure did sound tempting.

Looking around, not sure what to do with myself, I huffed out, "I think I just need a shower... ya know?... To wash the day away. Do you mind?"

Alice nodded, still looking worried. "Sure, go ahead and take your time. I'll just grab you some comfies and meet you in my room."

She was such a mother hen, always wanting to fix things, although a shower and comfy clothes wouldn't be able to fix me or stop the terrifying memories from running their endless circle in my head.

I ran my fingers through my hair, leaving them there to keep the mess from falling back in my face. Lost in my own mind, looking down at ... nothing, I muttered a "Thanks" to the floor.

I slowly climbed the stairs, not comfortable with the unsteadiness of my legs, and walked in the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I locked it, before closing my eyes and turning to face the mirror. I knew that I wouldn't like what I saw, but wasn't prepared, once my eyes opened, for the face that stared back at me. Dirt covered my face and clothes, the only clean area being the white lines that ran a path down my cheeks from the constant stream of tears that had fallen for the last hour.

I stood, staring at the stranger in the mirror, following the line of bruises poking out from under the muck. There was a large purple one that had attached itself to my bottom lip and several making their way along my neck, accompanied by what appeared to be teeth marks. I stumbled back against the shower door, pulling at the towel that hung there, then wadded it up to my mouth to catch the scream that had been building in my chest. My legs eventually gave in under my weight and the weight of what I had been through. I fell to the floor and continued screaming until I was absolutely sure that it wouldn't happen again. I was exhausted and didn't have the energy to dissect and analize what had happened and why. I was simply going to forget that this ever happened, that HE ever happened. He no longer existed to me and I was going to act as though he never did.

I stood with what was left of my strength and discarded the soiled clothes I had been wearing, peeling them off my body like shedding the old to be replaced by the new. I turned the shower knob to 'hot' and waited for the steam to fill the tiny room. Once I was certain that it was hot enough, I stood in the blistering water scrubbing my body until it felt raw and tender, only to realize that it would take much more than soap and water to wash away the memory of what he had done. I rinsed off and cautiously dried my body with the towel containing my screams. I wiped off the steam covered mirror and looked at the girl standing there, bruised and battered, and quickly averted my eyes. Staring at them wasn't going to make them less real, or make them go away, so with that thought, I covered them, throwing on the pajamas that Alice had left for me before looking back in the mirror.

I took a deep breath and exhaled exaggeratedly, building up the courage to step outside the tiny temporary sanctuary that I had created for myself. I couldn't stay in there forever and if I didn't get out soon, I knew Alice would come in and get my ass. I turned the knob to the bathroom door, and immediately felt the gush of cold air as I stepped out from the steam filled room.

As soon as I entered the bedroom, I smiled at the sweet smell of splendid splendor, that Alice had spread out before. Once again, she knew exactly what I needed.

I sat on the bed quietly, trying not to interrupt her, unprepared for the flood of questions that I was sure she wanted to ask. To be honest, I wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

Even though I did my best to keep silent, making little to no movements, she stopped what she was doing and turned toward me. "Did the shower help you to relax a little?"

I only nodded my head, not wanting my answer to spark up a conversation. I really just wanted the quiet. My plan was to sit in silence and get so high that my brain was completely null and void of all coherent thoughts.

But, as I quickly found out, that wasn't her plan.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, timidly.

"Other than the sore bruises and raw emotions?...not much better," I thought, but instead, shrugged my shoulders and watched as she resumed the joint rolling process.

She was the only person I knew who could make 'rolling a joint' look like a fucking art form. She had often said, that if her whole fashion idea fell through, herbology would be her fall back plan.

I say, fuck a thong and give me a bong. I would much rather toke on a joint in my lab coat, working on more medical uses for the miracle herb.

Her small fingers immediately went to work, crumbling the fluffy bud into tiny pot particles, grouping seeds with seeds and stems with stems. She was very meticulous in her method, Folding the rolling paper perfectly in half before sprinkling the sticky weed inside the pocket that she had made. I was entranced, caught up in her movements, watching as she rolled the joint craftily, until it was perfectly cylindrical. My eyes followed it to her mouth, while her tongue licked the seam closed, and to ensure it would hold, stuck it fully in her mouth, pulling it out slowly, letting her full lips skim over it's entirety.

I caught myself grinning from ear to ear, like I had just seen the best fucking magic trick ever. I had the sudden urge to start clapping, but held myself back. She surely would have thought I had lost my mind then.

Sitting up straight, she held it out to me with a proud look in her eyes. I took it and raised my eyes in approval before lighting it and breathing in the long awaited releif. After a few hits, my eyes closed, and my body relaxed into the bed.

Aaaahhhhh...This is exactly what I was needing, a little peace and a little quiet.

As I sat the roach down, sinking back into the pillow beside Alice, I winced when I felt her boney elbow nudge my arm. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." I said as I shook my head slowly from side to side. Can't you take a fucking hint? No, I don't want to talk about IT or anything else for that matter. Just let me sit here and think about nothing for a while!

"Bella, I need to know if he... how far did he... are you hurt?" she finally got out of her trembling lips.

Jesus Christ! I didn't like to see her this upset and knew she wasn't going to stop asking until I gave her an answer.

Staring at the ceiling, I did what I had been dreading to do since we had made it home. I talked about it.

"No, Alice, he didn't rape me, if that's what your asking. But, I have a feeling he would have if you hadn't have shown up." I quickly sat up, feeling the urge to withdraw into myself and allow the flood of emotions take over again. That was not going to happen if I could keep from it.

She sniffed and wiped her tears before they had a chance to fall further down her cheeks. She could tell what it was doing to me, to have to talk about it.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she said, her voice breaking with the apology. "I just had to know. I was really worried about you and you weren't talking and I... I won't make you talk about it anymore tonight, I promise."

I closed my eyes, focusing on my buzz, trying to think of a lighter subject to thin out the thick air between us.

"So, Edward's friend? He's pretty hot," I said, smiling, as the thought took me back to Edward's arms, and how his scent and soothing voice had permeated my senses.

Alice burst into laughter, caught off guard by my unexpected change in subject. "Uh, Jasper? Yeah... He is isn't he." She snorted out. "I got to talk to him after...well, when we were sitting in the car." Her eyes dropped down to the bed, as she drifted into thought. "Yeah, he seems like a really great guy... Edward too." She cocked her eyes over at me, as if expecting me to react to Edward's name.

I tried not to give her the satisfaction of knowing just how much it affected me, but was betrayed by my traitor mouth that curved up into a smile. Shit!

"Yeah, I guess he is," was all I could say, though I'm sure she could sense all the unspoken words that was running through my head.

He's not just a great guy. He's perfect, like an angel sent from heaven. My guardian angel, sent to watch over me and save me from myself.

Lost in my thoughts of Edward, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of lonliness, remembering how close he had held me to him and how much regret I felt walking away from him. I wondered if he felt it too, the void caused by my absence, like I felt by his. There was safety in his long impenetrable arms, that I could get from nowhere else, as if nothing could get to me as long as I was wrapped inside their cocoon. It was hard to explain, but I needed to be back there, inside their grasp to be rocked and hummed to, and told that everything would be alright.

Feeling myself slipping, falling head over heels inside my delusions of grandeur, I picked up the roach and hit it a few more times to clear my head.

After all...Having fantasies about Edward Cullen, wasn't the best thing to do after violently breaking up with my boyfriend.

Edward's POV

Back at the house, I sat on the edge of my bed, trying to stop my brain from imagining what could have transpired in the meadow before my arrival.

Bella, laying helplessly underneath Jacob's brutal body, kicking her legs desperately, pleading with him to release her from his crushing weight. He was restraining her, holding her hands above her head with one of his, using the other to roughly run its course over her delicate body. His mouth was relentless on hers before ripping at her flesh with his teeth, growling out menacing words and spitting his threats of more violence.

"FUCK!" I yelled, beating the side of my head with the palm of my head, forcing the unwanted thoughts to end their endless loop. I wanted to kill him, rip him apart, limb from limb, and had already thought about how to dispose of the evidence by burning his remains to ash. He had touched her, hurt her, and he was going to have to pay. I just needed to decide how.

As the thoughts swirled in my head, I grasped the edge of the bed on either side of my legs, fighting off the panic attack that was creeping up my body. The tingling had already begun in my arms and was working its way down to my legs, when I let my eyes close tight, concentrating of my breathing which was heavy and labored. I immediately began taking deep breaths, maintaining a steady rhythm, as suggested by my doctors, to calm my nerves and relax my body. Inhaling through my nose, then exhaling hard out of my mouth, effectively calmed me down enough to allow me to relax my hands, that by know had almost completely ripped the sheets off my bed.

Just as my head was clearing, no longer swimming with fear, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

"Yeah," I said, wiping the sweat off my forehead with my arm, ridding myself of any evidence of the attack.

Jasper popped his head through the door, slowly opening it all the way.

"Hey, man," he said trying to look casual.

I nodded towards the chair at my desk, silently inviting him in. He ambled toward it with his hands in his pockets, his trepidation obvious.

"Uhh, I wanted to check on ya... make sure you weren't sharpening a stake to pierce through Jacob's heart," he joked with a nervous tone, laughing lightly. "I mean, it would be pointless considering he doesn't have one."

"Yeah, well, whatever I choose to do, won't be so quick. He deserves to suffer." I sneered at the malevolence in my voice, and ran a shaky hand through my hair.

Jasper's eyes narrowed as he watched me try to get my trembling under control. First fidgeting with my hands, then rubbing them over my stubbly face.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm... " I stopped to clear my throat, distrusting my shaky voice, then continued. "I'm fine."

"You're a fucking liar... and a bad one at that," he said, pulling a joint from the front pocket of his shirt.

He had seen me during a full-blown panic attack before and knew what I needed to stop the tremors. My eyes rested on the joint and I couldn't help but smile as I took it from him. Lighting it, I took in the intoxicating smoke, and let the sensation wash over me. It was times like this that I was happy to have Jasper as a friend. He knew when to step in and take control of a situation and knew what to do and when to do it. He was my right hand man, my compadre, partners in crime.

We sat in silence, except for the occasional hack or cough, passing the joint back and forth until it had burnt down to nothing. My head feeling heavy, exhausted from the attack, I laid back into the bed with my arm behind my head, giving myself over to absolute pleasure.

Thank. You. Jasper.

After what seemed like an hour, Jasper broke the silence saying, "I bet Alice's body is hotter than this."

I opened my eyes right as Jasper shoved a Playboy magazines in my face, opened to a fold out of a naked woman sitting in a compromising position with her finger between her teeth. I couldn't stop it, I doubled over in laughter, shocked by the sight of tits and ass hovering over me. Jasper just pulled it back to him, shaking his head. Once I was able to stop laughing, I took the magazine out his hand, throwing it on the desk.

"You know, it's been proven that staring at tits too long will make your eyes cross."

Jasper chuckled lightly, before leaning over and placing his elbows on his knees.

"Um, so, Alice was worried about you," he said in a serious tone, shooting his eyes in my direction.

"Oh yeah?... Why?" I asked condescendingly. I wasn't the one she needed to be concerned with... Bella was.

Jasper continued, "We were talking in the car while you were with Bella, and she noticed how... protective you were with her."

"So," I snapped. I was just trying to console her. What was wrong with that?

"Edward...you would hardly let Alice get near her."

Watching me roll my eyes, he slowly sat up and leaned against the desk, resting his elbow on top. I could tell by the face he made that there was more, and signalling with my hand, I motioned for him to spit it out.

He rubbed his forehead and blew out a long breath, before quickly adding, " She asked me what your feelings were for her."

With that, I sat up on the bed and asked accusingly, "And what did you tell her!"

"I told her the truth, Edward! She saw how you were acting with Bella and it was totally freaking her out. Here's this guy that has never spoke a single word to Bella, and now here he is, holding onto her like his life depended on it. It was kinda...weird."

"Oh God." I laid back down, throwing my pillow over my face to hide my embarrassment.

"Look, it wasn't a big deal. She promised not to say anything to Bella. After I told her how long you've been pinning over her, she thought it was kinda... sweet."

"You fucking ass," I whined, "Couldn't you have just told her that I had a soft spot for damsels in distress, or something."

"Dude, you're fucking obsessed with the girl. There ain't no lying about that."

I looked up at the ceiling and couldn't help but think about her and how she looked when we found her, and my anger flared again.

"Why would he have done something like that to her?" I asked, looking absolutely dumbfounded.

"Alice said she was meeting him there to break-up with him. I guess he didn't like what she had to say," Jasper answered, looking at the floor, lost in his own thoughts. "Why the hell would she have gone somewhere so isolated to do it?"

"What? You blaming her now? I mean, would you have acting like a complete psycho if your girlfriend broke up with you?"

He shook his head and said "no" apologetically.

"Then why would she have expected it from him?" I asked, making him regret his comment.

The silence only lasted a short time until his previous words registered. "So, she broke up with him?" The smile that broke out on my face was completely involuntary and I couldn't deny my enthusiasm at hearing the news.

Jasper shifted uneasily and shook his head saying, "Edward, calm down. That doesn't give you permission to pursue her. Give her some time and space. She needs a little room to breath before you overwhelm her with your horny teenage infatuation."

I looked over and declared in a voice filled with anguish, "Jasper, I don't think I have the strength to stay away from her anymore."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

_**Bella's POV**_

Dreading the night that slowly consumed the day, I stayed stoned, oblivious of time, so that the looming darkness was ignorable. I couldn't just sit and watch as the sun went down, knowing that with the night came the dark, and with the dark came the haunted thoughts of my restless mind. I knew what was waiting for me in the dark, and knew I couldn't hide from it... from him.

The constant intake of THC, mixed with the Loretabs I had stolen from Alice's mom, had eased the pain from my aching body, but did nothing for my troubled soul. I could still see his contemptible face and feel the ghost of his touch pulsing over my body like venom through my veins. I couldn't stay awake forever, and knew as soon as I fell asleep he would be there, waiting for me, ready to finish what he had started.

As I laid next to Alice, staring at the ceiling, watching the shadows undulate across the surface, I silently cursed myself.

What have I done?

I went over it again and again in my head, asking myself, "Why?".

Why had I put myself in such a vulnerable position, expecting Jacob to act like a man, instead of the bestial fiend I knew he could be.

I had seen the evidence of his brutality, unleashing the beast when provoked, all human resemblance... gone. I never expected to see it rear its ugly head at me. Even though he could be hotheaded and impulsive at times with his rage, I thought I was safe, an exclusion to what he was capable of.

Now looking back, I could see just how naive I really was, wanting to see the good in him, blocking out the bad.

Seeing him clearly for the first time, I began to recall all the subtle hints that would have revealed his instability... his jaw tensing when I would block his hand from traveling underneath my shirt, the twitch in his eye anytime I had plans that didn't involve him, and the snarl I heard when I told him I wasn't ready for sex. It was all there, plain as day, and I cried at the realization.

My vision becoming blurred, the shadows on the ceiling merging into one black mass, I felt my eyes close. With my arms wrapped around myself and my knees pulled to my chin, I drifted off into a deep sleep.

I stood inside the meadow, twilight casting its violet shadow across the landscape, and watched as the air left my lungs in a billow of smoke. The air was cold and crisp, stilling my breath and hugging my body, as I strolled through the thin veil of fog covering the ground.

I was awed by the vastness of the open field before me, and completely alone, except for a beautiful ruffled tulip peaking up from the center of dirt floor. It stood tall and proud, having fought its way up to the surface through the thick layer of twigs and dead leaves. As I took a step closer, I saw that its white feathered petals were streaked with crimson flames, that oddly enough, looked as though blood was coursing through it's veins. I bent down to cup the flower in the palm of my hand, overwhelmed by the need to touch it, to run my fingers along its web of red.

As soon as I brushed over its surface, a low growl began to reverberate from within the dense forest behind me. I gasped, pulling my hand back, and hesitantly turned toward the encircling tree line where the low rumble was still resonating. My eyes searched the darkness in front of me and were immediately met by the preying eyes of a snarling wolf. I was frozen in place, eyes wide, body trembling. I held my breath and took an unsteady step back, building up the courage to flee.

Before my foot could touch the ground, the agile beast leaped, lunging itself at me. I fell to my knees, covering my face with my arms and closing my eyes, waiting to feel the pain of his sharp claws and savage teeth digging into my flesh.

Just as his growl hit my face in the form of hot stinking breath... it was gone.

Slowly, I opened my eyes, staring with a sense of wonder at the sight before me.

Standing with the lifeless creature dangling within his hands, was the most divine angel one's imagination could create. He stood tall and regal, spreading his majestic wings out behind him.

My eyes widened at his strength, as he dropped the wolf in a crumpled heap at his feet, never taking his eyes off of me. I took him in, silently marveling at his power and beauty, noticing his flawless... familiarity? The copper hair, the chiseled jaw, the soft full lips...

Edward?

"Bella! Get your ass up! We're gonna be late!" Alice screamed at me, over the loud baseline echoing from the kitchen.

I could feel the heat warming my face, warning me of the eminent danger of the bright morning sun that was peeking through the cracks in the blinds. I tried to open my eyes, but out of survival instinct, they refused to budge.

After the pot and Loretab cocktail I had last night, I wasn't ready to face the morning... and neither were my eyes.

"Fucking sun," I mumbled sleepily, throwing my arm over my face while turning my back to the villainous light.

I laid there, eyes closed tight, fighting for sleep so that I could continue the dream that I had so abruptly been ripped from. Once I had determined that sleep was not a possibility, I struggled to remember the face of the angel, my savior, that had saved me in my dream.

Was it Edward?

It seemed as though he was invading my every thought since I first noticed him yesterday.

Why was I fantasizing about someone I hardly knew, and was that what I was doing?

I tried to make since of it all, running through any and all possible explanations, coming up empty-handed.

Wasn't it common to develop feelings for your rescuer after a traumatic experience?

If that was the case, it didn't explain the feelings I felt when I locked eyes with him in the parking lot.

Thinking back to that moment, standing across the lot from him, I distinctly remembered the spark I had always imagined, that was absent from me and Jacob, very much present when I looked in Edward's eyes. Then I began thinking about the jolt of electricity that pulsed through my body as he held me protectively in his arms, and couldn't help but wonder if he felt it too.

Absently, I ran my hand over my arm, remembering the feeling, and missing it immensely.

I shook my head, laughing under by breath, disturbed by where my thoughts were taking me.

With a huff I sat up straight, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, and slid my legs off the bed. My self-medicating had left me with a wicked hangover, and with my head in my hands, I fought to keep myself from falling back against the bed and burying myself beneath the soft inviting coolness of the covers. As much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn't hide away forever. This day was going to happen, whether I wanted it to or not, so there was zero chance of avoiding the inevitable.

With that thought, I took in a deep breath and sighed, "Okay, let's get this over with."

"Get what over with?" Alice all but yelled, dancing into the bedroom, bouncing with the beat of the music that still blared from downstairs.

"This hideous day," I mumbled, narrowing my sleepy eyes at her annoying chipper voice.

She simply rolled her eyes, opening her closet door, and began sifting through the folded clothes piled high on the floor. As she went through the travesty that were my clothes, handling them with trepidation, I had to smile at the look of disgust on her face. The items in this stack were part of my 'emergency sleepover' wardrobe, and reeked with what Alice called 'bad taste'. Hence, the reason, for them to be shamefully segregated from her, more fashionable articles of dress.

I huffed irritably as she rummaged through, pulling out various items with a sarcastic dry heave, finally picking out a black t-shirt and hoodie.

"What a shame," she sighed, looking me over from head to toe, and throwing the apparently offensive ensemble on the bed.

Using her thumb and index finger, as if 'bad taste' was contagious, she pulled out a pair of ripped skinny jeans and quickly tossed them at me... Only to exaggerate her Fashion Faux Pas Phobia.

"I just don't understand your fashion sense... or lack thereof. This 'stoner meets punk' style that you have going on," she scoffed, throwing her hand at the clothes she had set aside for me, "does absolutely nothing for your figure. Seriously, if I see you in that old 'Runaways' t-shirt one more time, I will be forced to take drastic measures. Just because you tie it at the waist, doesn't make it any more flattering. It's still just a fucking t-shirt."

Finishing her rant, she turned back towards her closet, and fished out more 'Alice appropriate' outfit to change into. I didn't really have the energy to argue with her and she must have sensed it. That was her going easy on me, if you can believe that shit. If she had her way, I would be wearing something very tight and very low cut that only managed to show off what I obviously lacked. I dressed for comfort, not flaunt, and I didn't see the need to enhance what I didn't have in the first place.

I got dressed quickly, throwing on the jeans and t-shirt, lastly squeezing my feet into my tightly-tied and overly-worn black converse.

Now that I was up and moving, the aches and pains I remembered from last night slowly and steadily resumed their residual assault; the effects of the stolen Loretabs abandoning and long gone. With every new pain, arose a new unwanted memory of what had happened and why I was hurting. I flexed my wrists, and remembered him holding them over my head, gripping them tightly in his iron fists. A roll of my neck, brought back the memory of his unyielding lips and sharp teeth tearing at my flesh. Expanding my aching ribs with each breath I took, and I was back in the meadow, trapped underneath him, buried under his weight and screaming for help.

I can't do this. I can't go to school and act like nothing ever happened.

"Bella! What the fuck's taking you so long?" Alice's voice, loud and whiny and echoing from the bathroom, pulled me out of my thoughts and into reality.

"Shit!" I breathed. Okay, you can do this. You've gotta do this.

Psyching myself up, I walked into the tiny bathroom that, upon further observation, had only one way of escape. As I took in my surroundings, my eyes settled on Alice, standing in front of the mirror, surrounded by an arsenal of torture devises... I mean, beauty supplies. It was a terrifying sight, to say the least, and before I could stop myself I had taken a hesitant step backward towards the hallway.

Alice quickly grabbed my hand. "Oh, no you don't. A little make-up won't kill you will it?"

I stared, wide-eyed, at the plethora of makeup she had spread out before her, taking in her words.

"Possibly," I said in all honesty, focusing my attention on the ominous clamp-looking mechanism lying beside her mascara.

Rolling her eyes, she pulled my apprehensive body back into the bathroom.

"Look, makeup is you friend... not your enemy." She grabbed the sponge, drenching it in foundation, and began pushing my hair away from my face and off my neck. "The sooner you realize that, the easier this will... Oh my god!" she gasped, throwing her hand over her mouth.

"What?" I screamed, scared of what she saw.

"I had no idea." Her eyes widened as they followed the trail of bruises down my neck to my collarbone.

"Don't," I said, hoping that she would heed my words and pleading eyes.

I knew if I saw her tears, it would be over for me. It would open the flood gates to my own, and would be almost impossible to stop.

Rubbing my hand over the side of my neck, I spoke with uncertainty, "Maybe going to school isn't such a good idea."

Obviously the bruises had gotten worse overnight or she wouldn't have reacted the way she had.

Her expression quickly changed from pensive to bold. "Bella! Don't you dare! That's exactly what Jacob expects you to do. He expects you to hide away, hurt and broken. You gotta show him that you're not as weak as he thinks you are."

Then, trying to break the tension, she puffed out her chest and grabbed her crotch, flicking her nose with her thumb. "You need to bust up in that school like, 'What? You thought you could break me, Punk? Well, FUCK YOU! You can't break steel, MUTHA FUCKA!'" she bellowed, holding out the last syllable in a loud high-pitched voice.

I had no choice but to laugh at her failed attempt to be 'bad ass', because she was so... not.

After her comical pep talk, I reached for the foundation and sponge, handing it up to her with a nod.

With that little stunt, she had earned this opportunity.

She took it with a bright smile, noticeably suppressing the urge to jump up and down, and let out a triumphant squeal.

I couldn't help but laugh at her obvious excitement, and wish that I could be so positive as to think that this would actually hide what had happened. The makeup might be able to conceal the physical reminders of what Jacob had done to me, but nothing would be able to mask the emotional scars left behind. Alice was right, he couldn't break steel. Unfortunately, I wasn't made of steel. I was flesh and bone, frail and brittle, with a fragile spirit that bent with even the slightest pressure.

But, I couldn't let him know that. I couldn't let him see just how weak I really was. He craved control, power was his obsession, and for him to know that he had any kind of power over me... He would never stop. He would never let me go.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Alice, as she quickly began the tedious task of covering the more noticeable marks, showing extra attention to the ones on my neck. She would dab then smear, then dab again, narrowing her eyes with a look of pure concentration. Watching her face closely, I couldn't help but notice the other emotion, hiding itself deep within her eyes. It was a look that I myself had worn just a moment ago—a look of worry and doubt. Was she worrying about not being able to cover the marks, or worrying that she might be using the wrong shade of foundation?. I didn't know. All I knew, was that if I focused on it for too long, I would be tempted to give up and do what I really wanted to do—hide.

I felt her hand still, and watched as her eyes scanned the surface of where she had been working. Slowly, she laid the sponge down on the vanity, and after fluffing my hair, she took a step back with a look of hopeful anticipation.

I turned to the mirror, bracing myself for what I would see, and was immediately thankful that the hoodie covered most of my neck. Even though I knew Alice had done everything in her Primadonna power, the marks were still somewhat noticeable and looking a lot like what they were...Hickeys.

I felt the tears fall before I could stop them, crying at the disappointment, crying at my weakness, and crying at the fact that Alice had snuck a layer of blush along my already red cheeks. I was overwhelmed by emotion, and the fact that I was going to have to go to school, black and blue, enduring the whispers and stares as if they didn't affect me.

It had been the early hours of morning since I had let myself cry and at this point it wasn't a controlled phenomenon. My tears ran freely, absolutely involuntary, and I couldn't stop. I stood there, a blubbering mess, while Alice rubbed my back and cried right along with me.

It felt good, real good, something I had needed to do for a long time. Even while I cried last night, I never once allowed myself to let go and get it all out. That was exactly what I did. I cried and cried, my body jerking with each sob, until I was crying for no other reason, but to cry.

My nose running, and my eyes blurred, I took a hiccuping breath and wiped at tears one last time. When I finally turned back to the mirror to look at the damage, I stared at my snotty nose and swollen eyes before shocking myself with... a laugh.

I started laughing uncontrollably, bent over with my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.

And when I say 'laughing', I mean LAUGHING... A stomach hurting, breath taking, delirious snort of a laugh. And, I couldn't even tell you why. I found absolutely nothing even remotely funny about my situation, and my first thought was that I had finally snapped and gone insane.

"Bella, what is it? What's so funny?" Alice was looking at me as if the same thought had crossed her mind, that I had finally cracked under the pressure of it all.

I struggled, trying to form an intelligible sentence through the snorts and giggles, and was finally able to get out a hysterical, "I have no idea!"

Her eyes widen, and as I bent over in another fit of laughter, she let out a snort of her own and lost herself in the unprovoked hilarity.

After a few minutes, I was finally able to catch my breath and somewhat compose myself, though it took great effort on my part considering Alice's laugh sounded like a mouse choking on a piece of cheese.

"Feel better?" Alice asked, wiping at her eyes.

Letting out a long breath, I pushed my hair out of my face and answered, "Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do."

She gave me a big smile before letting me see the concern in her eyes and tucking a strand of hair behind my ears.

"You ready then?" she asked, timidly.

No. Not at all. "As ready as I'll ever be," I sighed.

The morning went by quickly and before I knew it, we were pulling into the school's parking lot, the last place I wanted to be at the moment.

Seeing Jacob's car and sensing his eyes on us, my body tensed and my eyes closed, wanting nothing more than to fold in on myself and avoid the day completely.

As if she knew exactly what I was thinking, Alice reached out her hand to hold mine, stilling my shaky nerves and trembling hands.

As I watched the rows float past my window, I began to wonder...Where is she going?

My heart rate slowed, with the car, as she turned into the last row on the right.

"What are you doing, Alice?" I asked, confused by her choice of location.

"I'm parking my car. What does it look like I'm doing?" Alice answered, sarcastically.

"Uhmmm, committing social suicide," I deadpanned, matching sarcasm with sarcasm.

I looked around at where we were, her shiny new Porsche nestled ostentatiously between an old primered Nova and a two-toned El Camino.

"I'm sorry. Would you prefer we park beside the asshole?"

"Alice, I can't let you do this. This is my cross to bare... not yours." Looking over at Jacob and his lackeys, I reminded her, "You know how they talk, and you know what they'll say. I have nothing to lose... you do."

She looked over at me exasperated. "Enough, Bella! Do you really think I give a shit what those stuck up bitches think or say. You're my friend, which is more than I can say for most of them, and I will park wherever I damn well please, and they can just...eat me."

My eyes widened at her choice of words and watched as she turned off the car and casually tossed her keys in her purse while throwing me a huge over-the-top grin.

As I gathered my bag, I looked out of my window and stilled at the sight before me.

Only a few spaces down, was Edward and Jasper, leaning lazily against the side of an old rust-covered Malibu. I couldn't stop my eyes as they took him in, all of him, running from head to toe and back again.

He was gorgeous, wearing a 'Part Time Punks' t-shirt that fit him perfectly, falling just above the top of his worn-out loose fitting jeans. Stunned by the sight of him, all I could do was watch as his raised his hand toward his face, pulling his sunglasses down to the end of his nose, revealing the most intense eyes that I have ever seen. They were wild and green, almost feline in shape and color.

Just as I realized that they were looking directly at me, his mouth pulled up into a hot-as-fuck smile, causing me to press my legs together to try and stop the wetness from soaking through to my jeans.

It wasn't like I'd had a lot of experience with the opposite sex, and to say that I was completely uneducated in the subject, was an understatement. I had no idea that a guy could have this kind of affect on me and make me feel so... needy, without the slightest touch.

I bit my lip as waves of strange emotions flooded my senses. Emotions I didn't know existed. I felt dizzy and light-headed, aching for something I knew nothing about but wanted desperately.

As I glanced down at his lips, I began to imagine them on mine. What would they taste like? How would they feel?

A shiver went through me as my thoughts took me to places not far from the gutter, and it frightened me. I had never thought of a guy this way, and the thoughts I was having made me want to throw any and all inhibitions to the wind. I couldn't help but question how I had ever over-looked him, when now he was all I could see.

Alice snapped her fingers. "Earth to Bella. Did you hear what I said?"

"What...what? Sorry, I was just..."

I was interrupted as Alice bluntly revealed, "Eye fucking Edward?"

"NO! No... just lost in thought."

"Uh huh," she said, not fully convinced.

Her eyes shot over to Jasper, who was now looking directly at her, licking his upper lip and shifting himself.

Never taking her eyes off him, Alice growled, "Mmm, Now that's what you call eye fucking... I gotta go."

And, with that, she stepped out of the car and strutted her way over to him.

I leaned down, picking up my copy of Romeo and Juliet off the floor board and shoved it in my bag. I pushed the passenger side door opened, and just as I was about to step out, a long-fingered hand shot out in front of me. Raising my head, adjusting my eyes to the bright morning sun, the outline of a flawless face and mess of hair began to come into focus.

"Hey."

_**Edward POV**_

I had trouble sleeping last night, which was completely unlike me, especially after smoking enough weed to incapacitate a horse.

Jasper left around midnight after talking my fucking ear off about Alice, which was only fair since he had endured many a night hearing my persistent babble regarding Bella. Now, I understood how he felt every time I whined to him about her, and the reason he would make sarcastic comments, like, "I'm sorry, do you need me to go get you a tampon to cry into?" I swear when it came to those two, we were like two high school bitches; the only thing missing, ice cream and facials.

At 2:00 am, after exhausting my pot supply and jerking off an innumerable amount of times using images of Bella in my bed, I was still lying wide awake with my dick in my hand.

The news of Bella's true intentions in the meadow, had thrown me for a loop. Dating Jacob put her in one of the highest ranking positions in Forks High's royalty. So, why would she have willingly given up that crown? I mean, personally, I wouldn't have wanted to bare all that weight, but it was definitely to her benefit considering the fact that she was the new girl and all.

I guess looking back, I kinda new something was up with her yesterday at school. You see, when you spend three months stalking, I mean, watching someone from afar, you notice the little things that other people might otherwise overlook.

I closed my eyes, remembering the look of pure unadulterated hatred on her face when he pulled her to him in the hall, and had to smile. Maybe she wasn't as far out of my reach as I thought. Maybe... just maybe, I had a chance after all.

That realization gave me hope, which in turn, finally gave me rest.

As soon as sleep found me, it was taken away.

I shot up from bed as I noticed the time blinking 4:43am on the alarm clock.

"Mother Fucker," I slurred, dragging my lazy ass out of the bed and onto my feet.

To make up for the time I had lost because of the obvious power failure, I went through my morning routine fully on autopilot, deviating from the norm just long enough to shave, since I finally had a prospective girlfriend.

I don't remember anything after that, until I was at school, leaning against my car as Jasper rambled on beside me.

I couldn't be sure, but I believe he was talking about something to do with a parasite species that could force sex changes and induce virgin births on its victims. His words weren't quite making it to my ears, as I was only half listening, nervously chewing my nails in anticipation of Bella's arrival.

"Dude, you haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?" Jasper asked, unbelieving of my blatant disregard to this important information.

I simply shook my head from side to side without breaking my attention from the road.

"Well, when they infest your brain and you suddenly start growing boobs and waking up with morning sickness, don't come asking me for help."

Just as I lit my tenth cigarette of the morning, I saw the obnoxious yellow Porsche pull into the parking lot.

I threw my head in their direction, nudging Jasper with my elbow, and successfully shutting him up in the process.

Our eyes followed, as the car passed by it's usual spot and made it way in our direction. I watched wide-eyed as it turned into our row and parked a couple of spaces down from us, looking rather out of place.

Neither bothered to step out of the car, but instead remained in their seats, engrossed in conversation. I silently stared at her, imploring her to lift her head and notice me, suddenly feeling as though I couldn't breathe until I was able to see her face and know that she was alright.

After what seemed like an eternity, Bella finally looked away from Alice and out of her window. I held my breath as I watched her trail her eyes over my body.

Was that a blush? Was she enjoying the scenery? God, I hope so.

To make sure my assessment was correct I moved my sunglasses to the end of my nose and smiled when I saw that, in fact, it was a blush. Indecent thoughts invaded my mind as she shifted her eyes to my lips and licked her own hungrily.

Damn! The way she could make me fill was overwhelming.

How could she make me so weak without any physical contact? Imagine my body's response if we actually...

A low growl erupted from my throat at the thought of holding Bella with nothing but a thin sheet of sweat separating us. I cleared my throat as I felt the pressure in my jeans become almost unbearable.

As soon as her eyes left mine, I turned to Jasper, slowly walking backward in their direction, shrugging my shoulders in defeat. I had waited long enough to be near her again and wasn't going to let anything stop me now.

Jasper could see my determination and only groaned, "At least hide your boner," and threw his hand in the direction of my raised zipper. As I gently adjusted myself, giving him a quick smirk, I turned around and raced over to my angel.

By the time I arrived at her car, her door was open and she was about to step out. Without thinking, I quickly offered her my hand, hoping like hell that she'd take it. If not my hand, then at least my heart.

I couldn't stop the smile that broke out on my face when I felt her warm soft fingers move along callused surface of my palm. Being connected to her again, I was able to relax, adding to the numerous affects she had on me.

As soon as she was up on her feet, she let go of my hand and swung her bag over her shoulder.

"Hey," I said, shoving my hands deep inside my pockets, already missing her touch. Awkwardly, I lowered my head toward the ground and toed a piece of gum that was smeared on the asphalt.

"Hey," she returned, nudging me with her elbow. "Ummm... Thanks."

I looked up from the pebble infused gum, and stared at her inquisitively.

"For the hand... And, for yesterday."

With her answer, came an image of Jacob's hands on her body and lips on her throat, making me remember how I had found her. Absently, I raised my hand and pushed her hair off her neck and stared wide-eyed at the bruises peeking through the thin layer of makeup. Her sad eyes, revealing her shame and humiliation, quickly moved from my face and to the ground. I felt sick, both sad and angry, that she would even think about blaming herself for what he had done.

I gently covered the marks with the palm of my hand and caressed her cheek with my thumb; her skin so soft beneath mine.

"Bella, what happened to you is not your fault, and as long as I am breathing, he will never touch you like that again."

At my words, she lifted her eyes and settled them on mine, silently thanking me for my words. I can't describe what I was feeling at that point. So much was going through my head. I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to protect her, and I wanted to love her.

We stood there for what seemed like an eternity, staring at one another, my hand on her cheek and her eyes on mine.

Before I knew it, we were both moving forward, noses almost touching, feeling her breath wash over my face.

I closed my eyes and just as I felt the slightest touch of her lips on mine, I heard, "Kiss already, and come on!"

When I opened my eyes again, I saw that Bella had moved back a step, while the hand that was on her face was still raised in mid-air.

She gave me a small smile and shrugged her shoulders, as I lowered my arm, shaking my head and laughing uncomfortably.

We both turned to Alice and watched as she and Jasper walked ahead, their hands tucked inside each others back pocket.

"She's... pretty overwhelming. When she has her eye on something, she usually gets it. Poor Jasper, he doesn't stand a chance," Bella admitted, shaking her head with embarrassment for her friend.

With that, we both walked towards the front doors of school with our hands in our own pockets, watching the ground move under our feet, connected by the stream of electricity that pulsed between us.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Bella's POV**_

I was walking through the doors of school, my head still reeling from the _almost_ kiss I had shared with Edward just moments before, when I felt the onslaught of eyes glaring at me from all directions.

_"Can you believe her?"... "What was she thinking?"... "How could she do that?" _A buzz of hushed whispers halted with my footsteps.

I knew Forks was a small town, but... fuck! I'd been broken up with Jacob for less than 24 hours, and already everyone in school knew.

I had seen for myself how fast good gossip could spread here, making its way from house to house like the fucking plague. So, why was I so shocked? I should have expected it..._ I should have stayed home._

With a deep breath, I raised my head and took in the multitude of faces; some awkwardly shifting their attention to the gridded ceiling above them, while most, continued their unabashed stare.

I didn't understand what the big fucking deal was. I mean, hell, I was out of the picture now, which was over half of the female population's _dream come true_. So, why were they all looking at me as if I had just ran over their cat? What did_ they_ care if I broke up with Jacob? It wasn't like their lives depended on us staying together, as if the whole universe would cease to exist just because I wasn't with him anymore.

As I looked around at the faces of my jury, I was taken back by the sheer contempt in their eyes; their fingers twitching with the need to point blame. If they only knew the truth, or better yet - would even listen, they wouldn't be so quick to judge. If they only knew what all he had put me through, they would have awarded me the fucking medal of honor for ignoring his bullshit for so long. But as it was, I was the fucking villain... making him the sainted martyr.

I lowered my head, and again, began berating myself for all the stupid choices I had made. The pain, the humiliation, the accusations; they had all been the direct result of my ignorance and naivety. If only I had gone with my first instinct and ran from Jacob when I had the chance... the moment we met. Did I have no sense of preservation? Did I think so little of myself to willingly put myself in danger? Why else would I have ignored all the warning signs telling me to _"Run...Get out now!"_. I ignored the shiver I felt at the sound of his voice and the fact that his touch caused my skin to crawl. I lied to myself, accepted the delusion that it was my body's natural reaction to the opposite sex, when in fact, it was my body's natural reaction to _evil_ that made me want to run away screaming when we were alone... Just like we were, yesterday in the meadow. _Talk about stupid choices._

Absently, I began to rub the bruises hiding underneath the bulky sleeve of my hoodie, when a set of long fingers took hold of my hand and entwined themselves with mine.

The sensation of a million sparks connecting with my palm, pulled me from my thoughts and into the eyes of my angel. A feeling of calm washed over me as I was swept away, loosing myself in the bottomless pools of green; completely at peace as I stood by his side.

"Come on, Bella." Edward tugged on my hand, pulling me to him, leading me down the lobby toward the hall.

I curled into his body, leaning most of my weight against him, as we forced our way through the crowd.

That's when I heard it, the only two words that could have ripped me from the heaven I had found at Edward's side.

"Poor Jacob," a whiny voice whispered, hidden within a huddled group.

_Poor Jacob? _

My body froze in its spot.

"POOR JACOB?" My voice echoed in the quiet room, snatching the anonymous words from the air, only to spit them back out in their faces.

My eyes shot up from the floor and darted around the room, in search of the credulous voice and its owner.

_How could they say that? How could they feel sorry for** him**?_

I darted my eyes to the back of the room, and wasn't surprised to see Jessica and Lauren standing there, eyes wide at my sudden outburst. What _did_ surprise me was the sight of Jacob, slumped in a chair between them, wallowing in their pity. It was obvious what he was doing, acting hurt and rejected, turning everyone against me. What the others didn't see, and what had become a look that I was all too familiar with, was the curl of his lips and the joy in his eyes that revealed his underlining amusement. He was enjoying this, watching me squirm under their scrutiny, knowing that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

It was Jessica who stole my attention away from him, saying, "How _dare_ you stand here... with _him_," throwing her eyes over at Edward, "and try to act like you did nothing wrong?" Her hand, that had been resting on Jacob's back, slowly began running its course across his shoulders consolingly. "What you did is... unforgivable."

_What I did? Unforgivable? _My hand itched to reach over and push my sleeve up so that everyone, including Jacob, could see what _unforgivable_ really was._  
_

That's when it hit me and all the confusion began to fade away. _"I'll make your life a living hell and it will be as though you never existed. You can't imagine the cruel rumors that can be spread to ruin someone's reputation." _His words replayed themselves in my head, reminding me of his threat as their meaning suddenly became clear.

_This was his intentions all along. He would spread a rumor so devastating that the remainder of my senior year would be a living hell.  
_

People weren't upset at the fact that I had _broke up_ with him; they were upset by what ever _lie_ he had told them. What ever he had said, whatever bus he had thrown me under, he made sure that it was enough to make his threat a reality. My life was officially a living hell, and it was only a matter of time before everyone forgot about me... _as though I never existed_._  
_

His voice still echoing in my head, I quickly cowered, letting my hair fall over my face.

"Bella? Look at me... Don't listen to them." Edward tightened his grip on my hand, begging me to stay, to stand my ground.

All my worst fears had come true. Jacob had ruined me, and what ever I said at this point on would be merely my word against his.

"Leave me alone." I muttered, jerking my hand free from Edward's grasp, and slowly made my way through the crowd and down the hall.

As I entered the bathroom, fighting the overwhelming urge to crawl into a ball and hide for the remainder of the day, I heard my name echo from the farthest stall.

_Who the...?_ I was expecting to be alone, oddly thankful that the rest of the student body had assembled in the lobby to whisper about me and my _misdeeds_._  
_

As I moved closer, I watched the smoke float over the top of the stall, making my steps halt at the realization of who it was. There was only one person I knew who had the balls to smoke in the girls room, and she wasn't exactly the person I wanted to see right now.

Warily, I raised my arm to open the stall door. "Rosal..." I was about to question, when a freshly manicured hand shot out and jerked me inside its tight quarters.

"What the hell happened yesterday?" Rosalie whispered, as she nervously took a drag off her Dunhill.

"I thought you quit smoking... And why the hell do you care?" I asked spitefully. She had made it pretty damn clear yesterday, that if I went through with my plans, I would no longer be any of her concern.

"Look, I'm not hear to apologize, if that's what you're thinking. I just felt like I should warn you." She took another nervous drag and stood on the back of the toilet, hoisting herself up to look over the side of the stall.

Her fidgety behavior was annoying me, and I felt my impatience grow to the point that I was about to turn around and leave. But just as I opened the door to walk out, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me back in.

"Look," she started, taking another shaky draw, "It's risky for me to even be talking to you, but you deserve to know."

"Know what?" I yelled through clenched teeth, my feelings hurt and my patience wearing thin.

"Shhhh!" she warned before throwing her half smoked cigarette in the toilet water. When she looked back up at me, her expression was filled with both concern and dread, as she finally answered, "Jacob is telling everyone in school that he caught you... and Edward... in the meadow... God, I hate telling you this." She closed her eyes and quickly spat out, "He's telling everyone that you fucked Edward," letting each word flow into the next.

I couldn't stop them. The tears overflowed in a constant stream. Rosalie, for the moment, threw aside her pretension and drew me to her, trying to console me. As angry with her as I was, I couldn't help but hold on to her for support since my legs had suddenly become of no use to me. She rubbed soothing circles along my my back as she whispered, "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry." Her comforting words only made me cry harder, knowing that as soon as we left this _confessional_, it would be as though we were strangers again.

Moving my hair away from her face, sweeping it off of my neck, she gasped and pushed me back by my shoulders.

"Did he do this to you? Did Jacob hurt you?" She asked, staring at the bruises, that by this point, had become even more apparent.

I stumbled back against the stall door and pulled my hair back over my neck. "Ha," I laughed shaking my head as I looked at her _shocked _face.

_Shocked!... was she really shocked?_

"And these are the friends that you're so afraid of losing! People that will lie and stab you in the back with no reference of concern!" I spat at her. "Or pain they cause," I added under my breath, as I stared at the dirty bathroom floor, stuck in the memory. I jerked my hand away from my neck and pushed my way through the stall door and out of the bathroom.

I couldn't believe how blind she was... how fucking blind they all were. It was as if they had been brain-washed by this self-proclaimed god, made to see only what _he_ wanted them to see, instead of what was truly there. I just wanted to shake them, force their eyes to open so they would see him for the monster he really was.

In a daze, overwhelmed by the reality of what was happening, I wondered aimlessly down the hall.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. While I was dealing with the repercussions of _his_ actions, he was basking in its benefits. He was coming out of this completely unscathed, the poor innocent victim, while I was being branded the heartless whore.

I fought back the tears that had been falling since I walked out of the bathroom, wiping at the persistent bastards with fury. Why did I give him the satisfaction? He didn't deserve a damn one of them. They were meant for love, passion, elation; not sick son of a bitches like Jacob.

As I wiped at the last traitor tear, I found that I had made it to my history class, and so had several spectators who had assembled at the entrance of the classroom. With their eyes on me, I felt as if I was the newest attraction in the freak show.

_"Step right up, boys and girls. Come and take a gander at the scandalous scarlet, the bawdy bimbo, the whore who wants more. I'm proud to introduce you to... The Girl Who Fucked Edward Cullen."_

Seeing their judgment and disgust on their faces, I averted my focus to the row of lockers that lined the hallway and let out a long sigh of relief when I saw Alice walking toward me with fire in her eyes.

I almost felt sorry for the poor unknowing victims that she was about to lay into... _Almost._

"Disperse!" she yelled, causing me to jump, along with the hungry wolves that had me cornered.

My mood lightened somewhat as I watched this 4'9" brute, begin nudging and pushing her way though the gawking herd. If I hadn't been so upset, I would have thought the sight amusing; this tiny speck of a girl forcing her way through the mass of bodies with the strength of ten grown men.

As she broke through the barrier of onlookers, she threw her arm around my shoulder and quickly led me to the empty classroom next door.

"Fuck them!" she muttered, as she shot her tiny middle finger in their direction.

Her hands went to my cheeks as she pulled my attention away from the lynch mob standing outside the door. "Bella, are you okay?"

Looking down at the glitter scattered on the art room floor, I avoided her question and absently whispered, "He warned me, Alice. He told me he would do this... _'Like you never existed'_ he said."

"Yeah, well, I hope _he_ dies of a steroid overdose and rots in hell," she confessed, looking me over, assessing my face for signs of coherency.

"It's going to be okay, Bella, really. Just give it a few days and someone else will be in the spotlight of humiliation. Trust me, they'll forget all about it and you'll be old news by Friday," she rambled, trying to reassure me. "Seriously... By the end of the week, everyone's attention will be back on Jessica and her bulimic excursions to the bathroom."

Glancing out the door to the whispering crowd outside, I shook my head with defeat. "Yeah, I wish I could believe that."

Feeling the hopelessness in my words, I pushed passed her and walked back to my classroom.

Unfortunately, Mrs Maddox wasn't the most enthusiastic teacher, and today of all days, she chose to entertain us with a documentary about the Cold War. It was excruciating to say the least, and did absolutely nothing for my restless mind.

Not far into the boring narrative, I found myself lost in thought, worrying about how I was going to face Edward again. Even though we both knew the truth, it was going to be hard to look him in the eye without the embarrassment of what had been said. He had to have hated me for dragging him into my shit, just as I hated myself for allowing him to get involved. He didn't deserve this or the ridicule it was sure to bring. Edward had done nothing but protect me, and deserved heroic recognition for that. But because of Jacob's lies, and my insecurities, scandalous slander was his only reward.

Drowning in self-loathing, I huffed out my guilt and slumped further into my chair.

"I can't believe she did that to Jacob... and with Edward Cullen of all people. My god, could she have picked a bigger loser?" The comment came from behind me, loud and clear, obviously meant for me to here.

The anger I felt at that moment was blinding, and had absolutely nothing to do with what they were saying about me. Edward's name and the blaspheme being spoke about him, was what got my attention, making it hard to ignore.

_How could they say those things about him, as if they knew him?_

Who were they to judge him and act like they were so much better. Obviously they weren't considering the fact that they were labeling him without the slightest idea of who he was, or all the things about him that made him good... Not the size of his heart and the way it could sync itself with another... Not the strength in his arms that he was able to pour into someone else who needed it more... And thankfully, not the intensity in his touch that sent waves of electricity to all the sweet spots.

_What am saying_? _Like I knew him at all?_

All I knew about him was that he _did things_ to me, things that made me question my control. It was easy for me to lose myself when I looked in his eyes and it scared the bejesus out of me, to think he had such an affect on me. He had become a permanent fixture in my head. I would never be able to let him go, and as I had already become painfully aware, would never _ever _be the same.

_Too bad he probably hated me and regretted the day he saved me._

The rest of the day was merciless. Every time I lifted my head, all I was met by were nasty looks and judgmental eyes coming from both the students and the faculty. I couldn't stand seeing their disdain and mostly kept my head down, focusing all my attention to the floor and the familiar spots and smudges that helped navigate me to my classes.

The faces I could avoid, but the whispers... _They_ were unrelenting. With each class, came another... more evolved rumor; all still starring me and Edward, caught in some form of fornication. By the time I made it to Calculus, the newest rumor that was circulating had Edward fucking me from behind while I begged Jacob to watch.

It was beginning to get ridiculous, to the point that it was almost laughable. But, the fact that all the rumors were so easily believed by everyone, including some I thought were friends... wasn't. It amazed me to see just how tight of a hold he had on everyone. The expansive population of fools that followed him, were so willing to believe anything and everything he said, hanging on to his every word.

To say he was loved by all, was an understatement. He was absolutely _adored_.

I knew him better. I knew him for what he really was, nothing but a con artist. He had built his reputation on lies and deceit; and after swindling everyone of their own ideals and opinions, he turned them into him... full of dominance and hate.

After making it through my morning classes without having to have another breakdown in the girls restroom, it was lunch.

_"Just let me get through today," _I pleaded silently to the heavens, as I tried to decide which terminal illness I was going to fake so that I could avoid coming back to this hell hole.

Dreading the teen pool that was the cafeteria, I took a hesitant step inside the large open area.

I scanned the faces among the crowd in desperate search for my friend, my rock, my Alice, and was immediately greeted by dark eyes and a wide wicked grin.

Jacob was sitting at our table looking directly at me, when the nausea hit and caused me to grab at my stomach.

My eyes immediately left his and ran wildly around the table hoping to find strength with the sight of Rose or Emmett. But, instead of their welcomed faces greeting me with a smile, I was met by a set of screwed up faces glaring at me in disgust.

Jessica and Lauren were sitting on either side of Jacob, both with a hand on his arm, leaning into him in an obvious fight of ownership.

_Don't worry bitches, you can have him..._

When I saw their attention turn from me and back to soothing Jacob's dead... I mean, broken heart; his smile faded and I watched as his lip began to tremble just as a well rehearsed tear slid down his cheek.

_He was really milking this for all it was worth._

"Fucking liar," I said to myself, just as a forceful hand grabbed me by my arm and began pulling me toward the door leading outside.

When I looked up, shocked by what was happening, I saw that it was Edward, all 6 feet of him, escorting me through the cafeteria.

Letting him drag me out by my arm, not even trying to pull away, I stated flatly, "Even though we've already fucked, doesn't mean we have to throw all pleasantries out the window... I'm great, Edward. Thanks for asking. How the fuck are you?"

I'm sure my sarcasm couldn't be missed.

As soon as we were outside, he let go of my arm and quickly started stumbling over his words. "I'm so... Bella, I... I don't know what to say. I saw you standing there looking so lost and... then I saw Jacob... I just wanted to get you out of there."

"Yeah,well, thanks." I said, closing my mouth and staring off into the distance.

We both turned quickly when the door was thrown open and Alice came charging outside, wild-eyed and gasping for air.

"I couldn't find you. I was afraid that you had given in and went home. Or, worse, Jacob had done something else to you."

"No, just out here talking to my lover." I said, rolling my eyes.

The laugh that came from me was unexpected, considering, and I looked at Alice and Edward as they let go of a reluctant snort of their own.

The inappropriate humor was short lived, and as soon as the lighthearted moment was gone, I dropped my head and dove back in the funky waters of depression that I had been swimming in since 7:30.

With a light touch of his finger underneath my chin, Edward forced me to look up and into his eyes.

"How are you holding up?" He asked with genuine concern, the intensity of his eyes shocking to say the least.

"Not so good." I answered, not being able to lie as the truth poured from my eyes in the form of unwanted tears.

He slowly reached his hand up and wiped them away with his thumb, which felt really nice, and caused me to unwillingly lean further into this hand.

I closed my eyes feeling the pad of his thump move its course over my cheek, then down to my jaw and finally to my neck.

"I can't help but feel that this is somehow my fault." He said, moving his hand down my arm to my hand.

"Unless you implanted a microchip in his miniature brain that makes him act like the biggest dickhead in the world, its not your fault." I said, eying our joined hands.

It still amazed me that even though I was a complete wreck, he could still evoke the most impure thoughts with the slightest touch.

Alice cleared her throat just as Jasper walked through the door, joining us outside.

I looked at our hands, then to Edwards face with an accusatory stare, as I pried my fingers from his.

"Looks like you guys have the best seat in the house. Care if I join you?" Jasper spoke, pulling my attention from Edward and the fact that my fingers now physically ached with the loss of his warmth.

"Sure, the more the merrier." I said exasperated, rubbing my hands together, trying to recreate his heat.

He smiled a big smile, looking out into the wilderness ahead of him and proudly announced "I've got a plan."

Curious of what he meant, I asked, "A plan? What kind of plan?"

"A payback plan."

_A payback plan? For Jacob? _I was more than a little skeptic, but I can't say it didn't peek my interest.

With a wave of my hand, I signaled for him to continue.

* * *

**Edward's POV:**

I was in heaven holding my girls hand as the door to the cafeteria opened and Jasper sauntered out.

With an odd look, Bella slowly pulled her hand away from mine and began rubbing her own together as if ridding herself of my touch.

_Great... Now she doesn't even want me to touch her... Just another reason why I wanted to kill Jacob Black.  
_

As Jasper made his announcement, she narrowed her eyes and asked, "A plan? What kind of plan?

All I needed to hear was the word 'payback' and I was all for it. Anxiously I asked, "So what do you have in mind?" hoping it involved some sort of dismemberment or disfigurement, I wasn't picky beyond that.

"Well, he thinks he's really fucked you over by spreading this lie about you and Edward, right?"

Bella cautiously nodded her head, and looked down at her feet with embarrassment.

Jasper, trying to pull her out of her thoughts, bent down and forced her to look up at him.

"Well, what if it wasn't a lie? What if, in fact, you _have_ been secretly seeing Edward behind his back," he asked, raising his brows and flashing a bright smile.

Bella, looked at him confused, and I'm sure, thinking the same thing I was thinking. _Exactly how would this better her situation?_

Answering our silent question, he continued. "His ego wouldn't be able to stand it. He would be so fucking pissed, thinking you really did let Eddie here dip it in..."

I cleared my throat and stared at him with wide-eyes and tight lips, then threw them over at Alice and Bella, reminding him of his manners.

"Sorry..." He smiled slightly, then continued his crude explanation of the plan.

"If Jacob thinks you actually did fuck... I'm sorry... have sexual relations with Edward behind his back..." Rolling his eyes, and looking to me for approval, he went on, "He wouldn't be able to hold it back. He would blow his fucking lid, and everyone would get a chance to see him for what he really is... A fucking mental case."

After the details were laid out, I pondered the idea of me and Bella being able to act like a couple, and lost myself in thoughts I touching, kissing, fu... Then, Jacob came to mind, and the intended reaction this would provoke from him. The fact that he lost his temper so easily and the strength behind that temper, scared the hell out of me.

_What if he hurt her again... or worse?_

"I don't know about this. This could put Bella in danger. I mean, she wouldn't be able to be left alone," I spoke, thinking out loud.

"She wouldn't be alone, Edward. Her _new _boyfriend would be by her side morning, noon and night," Alice said devilishly, looking directly at me.

_Aaannnd... commence the naughty thoughts._

I Shifted my eyes toward Bella, who looked at me with a blush spreading across her face.

_She'll never go for it..._

Shaking her head slowly from side to side, she muttered, "I don't know." Biting her lip, she spoke absently, as if working things out in her head. "Charlie works a lot of day _and_ night shifts so I'm alone a lot. He's adamant about not allow boys in the house when he's not at home... Even with his golden son, Jacob. I would have to tell him what happened... I can't... I don't want to have to tell him."

"You haven't told your father, a policeman, what Jacob did to you?" I asked flabbergasted.

_What the hell?_

Her eyes quickly shot back down to the ground. "Jacob's dad is Charlie's best friend. I can't do that to him. Billie's a good man and to have him find out what his son did... it would kill him. Not to mention, whose to say they would even believe me. You're forgetting... Jacob is an absolute angel in everyone else's eyes."

"Well..." Jasper reached up and scratched at his unwashed head, looking up to the sky in deep thought. "Can you tell him that you and Alice have a lot of studying to do, and just stay with her for the rest of the week? I mean, you're... like... studious and shit, right? So, he'd probably believe ya."

Jasper and his brilliant pot-laced brain. I would have kissed him if I wasn't afraid that Bella would think I was gay; therefore, killing any chance I had with her.

"If you and Edward play your cards right - ya know, do some of that flirty touchy bullshit that couples do - You'll have Jacob foaming at the mouth by Friday."

"Now, Edward," he sighed, placing his hand on my back encouragingly, "I know you've never even gotten to second base with a girl before, and can only imagine how difficult this will be for you... But, do you think you can do it... For Bella's sake?"

I could see him trying to hide his amusement as he spoke and suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to hit him instead of kiss him, but decidedly shook it off due to the fact that I had busted his balls numerous times in the past and he owed me one.

With clenched teeth, I hissed, "I think I can manage," glaring at him as a smile broke out across his face.

We all looked at Bella waiting for her to think through the proposition. I could almost here the gears tick as she ran everything over in her head.

After an excruciatingly intense minute, her mouth began to break out in a small smile as she lifted her head from the ground and answered, "Hell Yeah, let's do it."

_God does answer prayers!_

Just then the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. As we turned to walk through the doors to enter the cafeteria, Jasper grabbed us both by the wrist.

"Remember, it has to happen at school. Do whatever it takes. We want the entire student body to bare witness."

Never, in the ten years I've know him, have I seen Jasper so serious. He was just as eager to bring Jacob down as Bella and I were.

Bella looked at the door leading to the cafeteria, then down at my hand that was dangling by my side, then back up to my face.

_What the..?_ And before I knew it, she had seized hold of my hand and was pulling me through the doors and out of the cafeteria.

_Here we go._

As we walked hand in hand down the hallway, me trying to act like I had no clue where her locker was, we finally stopped in front of locker #57; which- because of a previous illegal incident- I knew to contain 5 textbooks, 3 folders, a box of pencils, one calculator, and a picture of Kellan Lutz in a Kalvin Klein ad.

_I know, I'm pathetic._

She stood tall, while revealing her false sense of confidence in her stance. It was obvious that she was nervous as hell, more nervous than me even, which was saying a lot since I was about to shit my pants with our close proximity.

Trying to look casual, leaning against her locker with my hand right beside her face, I brought my mouth to her ear and asked softly, "So...what now?"

She looked up at me and blinked slowly looking as though she was uncomfortable with my closeness.

_Maybe she's second guessing this idea? I hope to God she's not._

"Um... maybe you could kiss my cheek before you go to class. I mean, our goal_ is_ to make everyone think we're a couple, right?" She asked nervously.

Smiling down at her, seeing anticipation in her eyes, I breathed, "Right," before leaning down and brushing my lips against her soft cheek, lingering a scosche too long as to savor the moment.

_God, she even tasted like strawberries. How the fuck can someone taste like strawberries? _

I wondered, as I walked away, if she too was feeling the innocent kiss in her knees. Because, I was finding it very difficult to walk with my legs shaking the way they were.

As our distance grew, I felt the strand of electric current holding us together, stretch then break at the strain of my departure. Then, thinking of the week ahead and the possibilties it would hold, I floated to my next class.

As I sat in my torturous economics class, I couldn't help but think of Bella and how good she smelled and tasted. Licking her sweetness from my lips, I moved my hand under the table to relieve some of the pressure that had built up in my jeans. Needless to say, I didn't get much out of the lecture.

As soon as the bell rang, I found myself on my feet and out the door, eager to resume my new _boyfriend_ responsibilities.

When her locker came into view, I began sprinting toward it, panicking at the sight before me.

There was Bella, trapped between gray metal and Jacob, who was hovering over her with his hands pressed against the locker on either side of her head.

"Bella!" Before I realized it I had grabbed a hold of her hand, pulled her from his reach, and had her buried protectively in my chest.

He quickly began looking around at everyone who had witnessed the scene, and in a blink of an eye, his scowl turned into a defeated frown. "I can't believe you would do this to me Bella. I thought you loved me."

_If they were giving out an award for best Bullshitter, he would have won... hands down._

"I never once, told you that I loved you!" Bella spat out, surprising me with the venom laced in her words.

His arm reflexively jerked back, as if to punch something, as his eyes grew wild with anger.

Watching his fist shake in the air, threatening me and Bella, I was relieved to see it lower at the last second.

"You better get her out of my face, Lover Boy, before I add more bruises to her collection." His voice was eerily low, as he spoke threw clenched teeth.

Seeing the horror on Bella's face, I decided not to push him any further, and quickly tucked her into my side and lead her down the hall and out the back doors leading to the practice field.

Once outside, we sat on a bench at the side of the field, while I tried to console her the best I could.

"It's okay, Bella. I'm here. I'm not going to let him get to you again."

_What was I kidding? I couldn't make a promise like that. I couldn't be will her every second of every day. God, how is this going to work?_

Feeling her tremble in my arms, seeing what Jacob was capable of and the danger this was putting her in, I huffed with disappointment. "Maybe this plan of Jasper's isn't such a good idea." Laughing at my luck, or lack there of, and the fact that if it weren't for the circumstances we were finding ourselves in, I would have never had the chance to be this close to her, and sighed. "As much as I enjoy holding you like this, you shouldn't be put in the position to... need it."

Suddenly she was still, her tremors ceasing along with her tears. When I turned toward her, her eyes locked on mine as her hand slowly moved to my cheek.

"I couldn't ask for a better...boyfriend... than you, Edward. Only a true friend would do this for me and... to be honest... I kinda like it when you hold me."

Her admission knocked me for a loop, and as she snuggled back into my chest, all I could do was sit there stunned and confused.

_So let me get this straight... First, she calls me a boyfriend, then I'm just a friend, but then she hits me with the "I kinda like it when you hold me" shit._

That's when I decided that, before this week was up, I was literally going to go insane trying to figure her out.

Just as I was about to say we needed to get to class, she sighed and snuggled deeper in my chest.

"Bella?"

No answer

"Bella?" That's when I heard a soft snore escape her lips.

_Okay, so much for class. _Not like I cared.

She had been through a lot the past two days, and I didn't see any harm done in allowing her to skip a class to get some much needed rest.

Sliding my body down a little, I tried to get us both into a more comfortable position, and waited as she slept soundly in my arms.

After some time of peaceful sleeping, I felt her hand grip onto my shirt as she pushed her head deeper into my chest with my name flowing like honey from her lips.

It was low and breathy_, _and I couldn't help but wish that I could invade her dream so that I could see what exactly she was dreaming about with me in it.

Suddenly, pressing her body against me and gasping for air, she said my name again, sounding breathless and... spent.

_I could only wish._

As her eyes opened, they lifted to my face, and I had the pleasure of watching as a deep red glow spread rapidly across her cheeks and down her neck.

I smiled down at her, seeing her body slightly draped over mine, and quickly felt the need to say something.

"Um...you fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you," I blurted out, trying to explaining our position.

While she had been sleeping, her right leg had found it's way across my lap, and I had instinctively curled my hand behind her knee to hold it there.

She slowly dropped her eyes to my hand that was wrapped around her leg, and quickly removed herself from my body. Not knowing what to do with my now free hand, I ran it nervously through my hair, and chuckled as I stood to my feet.

"What time is it? Has class started?" she asked, digging through her bag to pull our her cell.

"There's only five more minutes until the bell. I thought you might need the rest." I answered, looking at her warily, questioning my decision.

"Actually, I did. Thanks. I feel much better."

We decided, to avoid another encounter with Jacob, that we would bypass school completely and head to the parking lot to wait for Alice and Jasper. Approaching the yellow Porsche, we were surprised to see that they were already there and waiting.

"How did you guys get here so fast?" Bella asked suspiciously.

I couldn't help but smile, when Alice began to stutter out,"Well, ya see, Jasper... he needed to... And I, I had this..."

Watching Alice struggle for words, Jasper quickly stepped in and gave a simple, "We ditched."

Alice absently stated, while looking unabashedly down at Jasper's ass, "Yyyyeah, we were ironing out some details to the plan."

Bella, laughing at Alice's excuse and obvious lie, shook her head, saying, "Whatever you say, Alice."

Alice's eyes widened. "And what the hell is that suppose to mean?"

Stepping in between them, trying to block the ensuing cat fight, I threw my hand on Jasper's back, patting it amusingly. "Nothing Alice. Nothing at all."

I walked Bella to the passenger's side of Alice's car and bent forward, brushing my lips against her cheek one last time. "Call me if you need me."

It took everything I had to walk away from her, and once I had caught up with Jasper, I heard Alice yell, "See you guys tonight!"

I quickly stole a glance at Jasper, who only raised his eyes, smiling widely and nodding his head with excitement.

_This is going to be interesting._

I climbed into my Malibu, anticipating the evening ahead, while endless possibilities of what might transpire ran rampant through my mind.


	8. Chapter 8

**Bella's POV:**

I was holding on to the car door, about to plant my ass in the _ridiculously_ low passenger seat of Alice's Porsche, when the most dreadful words came flying out of her mouth.

"See you guys tonight!"

Without warning, my legs gave out and I fell heavily into the sunken seat; the car shaken every bit as much as my composure.

_Has she gone mad? Has the toxins from her hair product finally seeped inside her head and killed off the few remaining brain cells she had left?_

Rendered speechless by her untimely declaration, I could only watch in dismay as she casually slid into the driver side with both style and grace that only she possessed. My stare was fierce, focusing on her face and its lack of concern, as I waited impatiently for her to feel its burn.

"What?" she asked irritably, adjusting the rear view mirror to check her make-up.

"S-s-see you guys tonight?" My words came out stuttered and dripping with incredulity, which at that point had me twisted in knots at the thought of having to face Edward after what had just happened. The thought of being alone with him so soon after _panting_ his name in my sleep... 

_Let's just say I couldn't be held responsible for my actions._

The only thing I had planned for was a nice quiet evening alone with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. I hadn't had a chance to fully take in what Jacob had done, let alone the opportunity to _really_ think about the plan that Jasper had concocted to make his intentions backfire. The idea of pissing Jacob off using _his_ lie against him, with Edward as my accomplice, was still a little unnerving.

There were two things I needed to ask myself before jumping into this_: _

_Would it be worth the risk involved to see Jacob finally get what he deserves, and would the payback be worth the inevitable heartbreak I would no doubt feel once the plan was over- along with my pseudo-relationship with Edward? _

The first answer was obvious... _Abso-fucking-lutely_. But the later... The later was possibly a deal breaker.

I was confused about everything, and the fact that I was going to see Edward again in just a couple of hours did nothing but complicate matters even more. And Since my brain was totally useless when he was around, attempting to form an intelligible resolution under the circumstances would have been a complete waste of time_._

_I believe the saying is "Two's company, and three"- plus the guy who can make me cum in my sleep- is fucking claustrophobic._

"Well..." Alice began, pulling me from my reverie. "Jasper and I were talking and we both feel ..."

I interrupted her just long enough to point out, "I seriously doubt there was much _talking_ going on before me and Edward walked up."

She simply rolled her eyes at my sarcasm and resumed from where she left off. "We both feel that it would be _pertinent_ to the plan if you and Edward were to get a little more _acquainted_, that's all." She made sure to curl her fingers with the word _pertinent_, as to stress its importance.

_Acquainted?  
_

Sensing my apprehension, she sighed. "Look, Bella... If you really want this plan to work, you and Edward have to be more _comfortable_ around each other. You guys looked nervous as hell today...all thumbs and left feet. Take, for example, your little stunt in the cafeteria. My God, it looked more like you were pulling your 4 year old child through the grocery store, than walking hand and hand with the guy you're suppose to be fucking. And don't even get me started on the locker scene."

The heat was overwhelming, spreading across my face and down my neck, as I thought about the fact that she had witnessed the kiss. But then again, that was the point, right? It was meant for everyone to see, kind of our _coming out_ kiss, and for the soul purpose of solidifying our plan; although on my part, it had absolutely nothing to do with the plan_._ The moment his lips met my skin, everything was forgotten, and I found myself fantasizing that the kiss was by choice...and not by obligation. I couldn't stop myself from wondering what it would be like if it were real- the attraction that everyone else was seeing and that I was feeling. I could only wish that he felt it too.

Returning from the ghost of kisses past, I was abruptly brought to the present by the sound of Alice's impatience being drummed out on the steering wheel.

With my fingers combing through my hair, I snapped, "What do you mean, _the locker scene_? Did you expect me to shove my tongue down his throat right there in the hallway? I'm not like that, Alice. Not to mention, I hardly know the guy!"

_Oh, but how I wished I did, and in so many not-so-friendly ways..._

She quickly straightened in her seat, making sure to look me dead on, while returning my earlier incredulity. "But a kiss on the cheek, Bella? Was that really the best you two could come up with?" Then shaking her head, she yelled with exasperation, "Can you at least _act_ like a normal teenage girl? Wear a little makeup!... Buy designer clothes!... And yes, shove your tongue down some guys throat, _especially_ if you hardly know him!" Taking a deep breath and lowering her voice, she explained, "My point is, desperate times call for desperate measures. For this to work, you're gonna have to break out of the shell you've been hiding in and do some things that you view as compromising to character. And who knows, you might even like it."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, picturing the incidents with a noticeable wince. It was true. I _was_ a nervous wreck around Edward. I didn't know what it was, but something about him made me lose all coherency, muscle strength and balance- which was flimsy to begin with- when he was around. I didn't have an arguement; she was right and it irritated me to no end to have to admit it.

"I see your point," I sighed, turning my head forward and effectively ending the conversation.

The ride back to her house was uncharacteristically silent. While Alice stared distractedly at the road ahead, I fought a losing battle with the chaos in my head. My thoughts were erratic, shifting between my hatred for Jacob and my desire for Edward, the inconsistency dizzying. The longer I sat there fighting it, the more my anxiety grew.

Desperate for some kind of resolve, I focused on the emotion that bothered me the most... It was at that point, that I finally gave myself over to the desire I was feeling for Edward and let the memories of the afternoon come to the forefront of my mind.

First, I recalled his tender kiss as we stood by my locker, and the promise it seemed to hold for a possible future. _Ha! In my dreams_... Then, I thought about his genuine distress at finding me with Jacob, and the way he had pulled me so close to his chest. _No one, aside from my parents, has ever acted so protective over me... _And then there was the dream. _Oh God, the dream. _It had been...stimulating, to say the least; and although I couldn't be sure, I was almost positive it had a _happy ending_.

I leaned my head back comfortably, letting my eyes fall shut... And there it was, the images magnified and unbearably vivid. As it flowed smoothly behind my eyelids, I bit down on my lip with my legs pressed together in earnest. It was all too much, an overload of sensations... The feel of his hands, the warmth of is breath, and the forcefulness of his need, as it thrust inside me over and over again, until...

_Oh yeah, there was definitely a happy ending_.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

As soon as we stepped inside Alice's house, kicking our shoes off at the door, my cell phone rang.

_"Hello daddy... Hello mom. I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!"  
_

I didn't have to look at the caller ID to know who it was. There were only two people it could have been, and Renee never called before sundown- always more of a night person herself.

"Charlie," I sighed, darting my eyes to Alice for support.

I still wasn't sure if he had talked to Billy and what, if anything, he knew about me and Jacob. So preparing myself for the conversation, I took a deep breath, tapped the touchscreen of my phone, then hesitantly brought it to my ear.

"Hey dad!" I answered overly enthusiastic, hoping my optimism would be contagious.

"Where are you?"

I sat stunned, waiting for some kind of greeting... A "Hello", or "How are you?" would have sufficed.

"Answer me." His tone was short, his words clipped, hinting to his wearing patience.

_Mission "optimism" officially aborted…_

Sighing in defeat, I asked, "So what did Billy tell you?"

There was no point in beating around the bush. If the shit was going to hit the fan, then I was going to throw the first pile.

"_Billy_ didn't tell me anything... What the hell's going on, Bells?"

"If you're asking why I broke up with Jacob, it's none of your business. This is between him and I."

I could faintly hear him talking to someone, telling them he would be in his office, and with the sound of a door slamming he was back on the line.

"It _becomes_ my business when _Jacob_ tells me..." He cleared his throat and lowered his voice to just above a whisper. "...that you've been having _sex_ with random guys."

_Jacob... And there you have it; the reason I can't tell Charlie the truth. _

Charlie had already made up his mind... I was guilty. And to have tried making him think otherwise would have been pointless.

Blinding anger ripped through my body, and feeling my legs about to give, I plopped down on the couch behind me and gripped the phone tightly in my fist.

"Is it true?" he questioned abruptly, only fueling my anger for being such a coward.

For a moment, I wrestled with the idea of telling him the truth just to see what he would say. But who was I fucking kidding? I knew what he would say, and I couldn't bare to hear it.

"Well, if _Jacob _told you...then it _must_ be true, right?" I answered with resentment. Not only had Jacob turned the entire school against me, but the only family I had here as well.

"I don't think we have anymore to say. I'm going to be staying at Alice's for the rest of the week, so you won't have to look at your disappointment of a daughter. Goodbye, Charlie." And with that, I slammed the phone down on the oak-stained coffee table.

Consumed by regret, and disappointment with myself, I pulled my knees to my chest and began crying into the dark denim of my jeans.

"Bella?..." A hesitant hand moved across my shoulders, drawing consoling patterns along my back.

"The plan is going to work. You'll see." Alice's voice was timid, but sure, and I couldn't help but find solace in her words.

"It better." I croaked out, tired of crying about it and sick of talking about it.

Without warning, Alice launched herself at my chest and pulled me into a tight hug. While my emotions were ripping me apart at the seems, it was Alice that held me together.

We stayed like that for a moment, swaying and sniffling in each others' shirts, until she slowly pushed me away and looked me over.

"I know what you need," she stated matter-of-factly, before rising to her sock-feet and pattering toward the kitchen.

I waited for an explanation, and when I saw she wasn't going to offer one, I asked hesitantly, " And what is that?"

_Please don't say sex..._

"Pizza, of course." Then she stepped inside the kitchen.

Her unexpected answer made me laugh, until the thought of food made my stomach growl and churn with hunger. I hadn't even thought about food until then, and I questioned the probability of being able to keep it down.

As soon as she left the room to make the call, I pulled out my calculus book and began busying myself with _limits_ and_ derivatives_. Studying always helped to clear my head and focus on something other than myself, which was exactly what I was needing at the moment.

After looking over the first page, I realized my focus was for shit. The letters and numbers began running together to form a jumbled mess of nonsense, while my thoughts went to memories that were best left forgotten.

As they ran their consecutive course through my head, it wasn't long before I was back at my locker with Jacob towering over me.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

_Lost in the memory of Edward's kiss just an hour before, I absently gathered the books for my next class with a smile._

_When I leaned down to zip up my bag, I heard the footsteps of someone approaching, then the sound of my locker door slamming shut. I jumped and turned around quickly, and was surprised to find Jacob standing disturbingly close, trapping me in my spot._

_"Wh- What are you doing?" I choked out, looking around the hall while trying to avoid the evil in his eyes._

_"I should be asking you the same question."_

_ The shaking in his voice was disquieting, and I immediately started looking for a way to escape, darting under his arm only to be met by the taut muscle of his bicep.  
_

_"Please, Jacob. Just let me go." I finally raised my head and looked him in the eyes, hoping to find a shred of compassion... But seeing none._

_Slowly shaking his head, he stepped closer until his chest was firmly pressed against mine. "I can't do that, baby."_

_ His right hand went to my neck and tangled in my hair, while his lips skimmed along my jaw. "Why did you let that loser put his mouth on you? I can smell his stink on your skin."  
_

_His words did nothing but fuel my growing anger, as a new-found-confidence sent me over the edge. "Well, seeing as how we've already __**fucked**__, it only seems fair that I let him kiss me."_

_His hand jerked away from my neck, my head falling audibly against the hard metal of the locker door. _

_When I opened my eyes, Jacob's had turned to onyx, his featured twisting in disgust. "Watch yourself, Bella. I'm warning you." _

_It wasn't until I felt his _"warning"_ thrust into my hip, that everything became evidentially clear. _

_The sick bastard wasn't done with me yet._

_~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~  
_

When the doorbell rang, Alice came bounding out of the kitchen into the foyer squealing with excitement. I could only watch with jealousy, as she opened the door and slung her arms around Jasper's neck without the least bit of hesitation_. _

_Oh to be so free... _

If and when I had the pleasure of Edward's touch again, it wouldn't be such a _spontaneous_ event. Our touches had to be orchestrated, timed just perfectly, to be beneficial to the _fucking plan_. I didn't have the luxury of showing my affection so freely, or the piece of mind that went with knowing it would have even been welcomed.

While Alice and Jasper mocked me unknowingly, my attention was drawn to the door and the fact that Edward wasn't standing there.

_He's changed his mind... I know it._

The sudden pang of disappointment hit me like a ton of bricks, and I fought hard to keep it from showing on my face. I was surprised by how deep my feelings for him went. It wasn't his looks, his image, or his status that made me want him. It was all of him. I needed him, craved him, and would take any part of him that I could get... Even if it was just a charade.

Alice, still smiling at the sight of Jasper, shot a glance to me before asking him, "Where's Edward?"

He took off his jacket and sat down casually beside me. With a mischievous look in his eyes, he answered, "Don't worry pretty darlin'... He'll be here. Just had to make a quick stop to pick up some _supplies_ for the evening." His eyebrows raised with his insinuation.

_Supplies?... Exactly how acquainted do they expect us to get?_

"Oh stop it, Jasper." Alice giggled, swatting at his arm. "If you only knew how hard it was for me to get her to agree to this, you wouldn't be teasing her like that."

Turning to me and rolling her eyes, she assured, "I think what Jasper is trying to say, is that Edward's making a pot run."

_Weed... Oh thank God! _

I offered Jasper a tight smile, relieved that he wasn't actually speaking in code for condoms.

_I've made it this long with my virginity still intact, and am not about to lose it for the sake of some half-brained scheme._

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

When the pizza arrived, not liking the idea of trying to keep food down in my overly anxious stomach, I sent Jasper and Alice in the kitchen to eat without me.

I was putting my books away, when I heard a vehicle rumble into the driveway. And in my sock feet I ran, skidding my way to the front door, and peeked out the peephole. The light in the car was on and I could see Edward taking a drag off his cigarette then flicking out the window.

_So...James Dean._

Hurriedly, I darted in front of the mirror that hung low in the foyer and began fluffing my hair and pinching my cheeks. I lowered my hands to look at the progress, and only saw a big-haired, red-faced disappointment staring back at me.

_There isn't enough make-up or hairspray in the world to cover up all the things that are wrong with _me_._

Shuffling back to the door, I jumped at the sound of someone knocking with urgency. My hand shaking with nerves, I reached for the knob and turned it slowly. _Just do it...like a band aid._ And like my inner voice advised, I swung the door open unprepared for the sight before me.

There stood Edward, rain pelting his head and streams of water tracing the outline of his perfect features. Several water-soaked strands of hair had found their way over his forehead and were dangling perfectly in his eyes. Even though his shivering was obvious, the rain and wind attacked him with tenacity, his heart-stopping smile never faltered.

Looking around awkwardly, he ran his fingers through his dripping hair and asked, "Can I come in?"

_Duh, Bella, let the poor guy in._

"Oh, yeah, of course. I'm so sorry."

I held the door open, moving to the side to let him through. When the sleeve of his jacket brushed against my breast, a soft moan escaped my mouth that I quickly covered with a cough.

_Why is it that my mouth can't form the words __**Come**__ and __**In**__, but has no problem making embarrassing noises without my consent… Fucking traitor!  
_

"Uh, Where's Alice and Jasper?"

"What? Oh...We ordered pizza." _We ordered pizza? Did that even answer his question? There you go, Bella. Win him over with your excellent verbal skills._

As we walked into the kitchen, I stayed behind him trying to avoid another episode of tourettes like the one I had when he brushed against me. Once we entered, I quickly noted that I had no choice but to sit beside him, effectively ruining my plan to avoid contact at all cost. Sitting this close, we were bound to bump elbows or knees and the chance of me being able to ignore his touch- even if it was by accident- was zero to none.

"Did you bring it?" Jasper asked, raising his head to Edward while wiping his hands on a grease-covered paper towel,

Without answering, Edward reached inside his jean pocket and withdrew a large bag of pot, throwing it on the kitchen table in front of us.

"You owe me twenty." Edward's hand shot out expectantly.

Instead of reaching into his wallet, Jasper's hand flew to his chest as he cried, "Dude... I'm hurt. You know I'm good for it. Don't worry."

"Yeah, that's what you said last time." Edward looked to me and rolled his eyes. It was clear that Edward would never see that money... and it was probably not the first time.

Like the fein she was, Alice quickly grabbed the bag and began breaking up a fluffy bud before remembering her manners and asking, "Do you mind?"

Edward simply nodded and she went on about her business, breaking the stems and crumbling the bud until it was the perfect consistency.

Stilling a glance at Edward, I noticed his expression was full of awe and wonder as he watched Alice with amazement.

"Alice is somewhat of a spliff savant," I explained in a whisper. "She might not be able to roll _change_, but she can roll a _joint_ in 10 seconds flat. She tried to teach me once... The damn thing ended up looking like a lumpy baseball bat."

He laughed and got strangled on a bite of pizza before taking a huge gulp of his Pepsi.

Before I knew it, we were Cheech'd and settled in a comfortable silence. It wasn't until I looked up and noticed Jasper and Alice in a silent conversation of their own, that I became painfully aware of the sexual tension surrounding us. The look in their eyes was completely carnal and made me feel embarrassed that I was intruding on such as intimate moment. Alice's breath was becoming heavy as Jasper's eyes, while they traveled up and down her body.

Out of nowhere, Alice jumped to her feet and blurted breathlessly, "Jasper!" Then taking a deep controlled breath, she advised, "Why don't we leave Edward and Bella alone so they can talk, or...whatever. And we can go to _my_ room and finish the conversation we were having early."

Jasper's mouth broke out in a wide grin as he stood to his feet and followed her out of the kitchen. Once at the stairs, he took his place behind her, placing his hands on her hips as she led the way.

The silence between Edward and I, that once was comfortable, became agonizingly awkward the moment Alice and Jasper left the room. Edward sat in his chair running his finger through the salt that had spilled on the table, while I nervously folded my napkin over and over again into a tiny square.

_Say something! Anything!_

"I...", "Do You...," we started at the same time, stopping to wait for the other to continue.

We both took a gulp of our drinks, trying to deflect the awkwardness of the situation, when Edward finally broke the silence.

"Jasper said I should tell you a little bit about myself...for pretense purposes. I just don't know what to say... I'm pretty boring."

I took note of how nervous he seemed, running his hands through his hair and shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

_What did he have to be nervous about? I was the one sitting next to the guy that had the power to turn me into a bumbling fool. Talking under this kind of pressure wasn't my strong suit, as I had earlier found out._

"What's your full name?" I asked randomly, surprised that I was able to form a complete sentence. Not only was my brain being affected by Edward's presence, but I was also stoned out of my head.

When he spoke, my eyes watched distractedly as his mouth moved with the words, "Edward. Masen. Cullen."

The way his lips pressed together with the "M" in Masen made me wonder what they would taste like if I licked them, knowing they would be sweet and savory.

When he stopped speaking, I watched as he swallowed deeply, his Adam's apple bobbing up and then down again.

_How can he make such a mundane action seem so... fascinating?_

My eyes roamed up from his long neck and over his squared chin, until they were met by piercing green. He was watching me watching him, the intensity startling. Our eyes stayed transfixed on one another, until suddenly he shut them tight, shaking his head vigorously.

"What?" I asked, confused by his expression and the obvious frustration I saw in it.

When he opened them again, focusing on the table in front of us, he took a deep breath and slowly raised them back up to mine.

"You make me really nervous." His voice was just above a whisper, timid and unsure.

_Of course I do...I really need to work on my subtlety...Fucking weed!_

"Ditto." I said in barely a whisper, not sure if I wanted him to hear. "Look, why don't we just tell each other some random facts about ourselves. Maybe it'll break the ice."

He nodded slowly. "Alright." Then scratching his head in concentration, he blurted, "I'm allergic to strawberries." His mouth turned up into an inviting smile.

_Okay, this shouldn't be too hard. Start small... Allergies..._ "I'm allergic to peanut butter." _Easy-peasy..._

His smile widened. "I love peanut butter."

"I love strawberries." I couldn't help but laugh, finally feeling my nerves begin to die down a bit.

Chewing on his bottom lip, deep in thought, he looked down at his feet and said, "I don't untie my shoes...like, ever. I'm lazy I guess."

"Me too!" I exclaimed excitedly, as if that one similarity destined us to be together.

Then trying to wane in my enthusiasm, I quickly revealed another trivial factoid about myself. "I watch sesame street when I stay home from school. I've kinda got a thing for Elmo."

He laughed and one-upped me by admitting, "I still watch The Power Rangers." Then shrugging his shoulder, he explained shyly, "I used to pretend I was the red ranger."

I gave him a big smile, and was _about_ to tell him _"I wear Smurf pajamas to bed_", but instead, "I'm a virgin," came flying out of my mouth from fucking no where.

_And I wonder why... What is this weed, A freakin' truth serum? _

I quickly gasped and buried my face in my hands, cursing myself under my breath. He had to have been questioning my sanity by that point. Between my inability to speak coherently and my insistent bouts of Tourettes, it was only a matter of time before he realized what exactly he had gotten himself into and got the hell out of dodge.

After a moment, realizing that there was no way things could get any worse, I ventured a glance at Edward. I was surprised to see that he was still there, and looking directly at me with an expectant smirk.

In an attempt to explain my lack of a filter, I started mumbling something about "weed" and "brain/mouth coordination". As I tried to salvage what was left of my dignity, I noticed Edward's face had turned as red as mine and quickly shut my mouth.

Dropping his head and staring at his hands, he confessed, "Me too," with a shrug of his shoulders.

My initial reaction was to laugh, totally sure that he was lying.

"Yeah, right. And I'm Heidi Fleiss. Welcome to my stud ranch," I scoffed, laughing at the sad truth of my obvious unlikeness to Heidi Fleiss.

I was still laughing when Edward interrupted me, by shrieking, "It's true. Do you really think I would admit something like that if it wasn't?"

"But you're a guy... Why... How...?" I was shocked, floored really. How had This beautiful boy gone through his teenage years without having at least one sexual experience_?_ I mean, Damn! As sacred as I thought my virginity to be; Edward needed only to ask and I would have been sprawled out across that dining table offering my virginity on a serving dish.

Running his fingers through his hair, he murmured, "I don't know... I mean, I've had my chances, but it never seemed right... Not the right person, not the right time; and in some cases, not enough booze. I guess I'm kinda saving myself." Then sitting up in his chair, rubbing his hands on his jeans nervously, he asked, "Can we get off the subject now? Talking to you about my sexual shortcomings is very...emasculating."

"Sure," I said, smiling as he squirmed in his seat. "So, what's next on Jasper and Alice's agenda for us?"

Edward's attention suddenly fell to the wood grain in front of him as his finger began tracing it's pattern. "Uhm, kiss..."

_What?_ "What?"

"Well, Jasper suggested that we...practice."

_Jasper, Jasper, Jasper_... I never thought I could be so sick of hearing someone's name. Why couldn't Edward just say that _He_ wanted to, or that _He_ thought we should.

"Right... Practice. Alice said something about it too. Apparently we're...awkward."

I dropped my head, thinking about her embarrassing comment, when I heard my name and looked up. And there was Edward, on his knees in front of me, his hands gripping the sides of my chair.

My eyes widened with the sight of him licking his lips at eye-level. _God, those lips. _I didn't even see his hand move, when suddenly I felt it resting against my cheek.

"We don't have to... Not if you don't want to," he stammered, his voice timid and unsure.

_If he only knew how bad I wanted to..._ I needed it, more than I needed oxygen; or so I had found out, having not taken a breath since his knees hit the floor. I had a nagging feeling that if I didn't get this kiss, I was surely going to die.

Trying to regain my composure, I took in a shaky breath and raised my head. "No, I want to... I mean, we should..."

Before I could finish my sentence, his hands went to my thighs as his thumbs coaxed my legs apart. I couldn't speak, focusing solely on his long fingers that were pressing into my flesh.

Then looking into my eyes, he moved closer, wedging his body between my legs. He was so close I could feel his breath on my face which I inhaled hungrily.

I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest... Like I was going to hyperventilate and stop breathing all at the same time. _If that is even possible._ And almost did when he grabbed my hips and pulled me even closer, my ass dragging along the lacquered wood of my chair. My eyes closed involuntarily, as I waited impatiently for his next move.

_"Do it. Do it. Do it,"_ I pleaded silently, begging for an end the torturous wait._  
_

With a soft brush of his lips, my prayers were answered. The kiss was short and tender, giving me just enough to make we want more, when he suddenly stopped.

_Why has he stopped? What did I do?_

When I opened my eyes, I saw nothing but green. Their intensity caused me to instinctively tighten my knees against his hips. And before I knew what I was doing, my hands were gripping his shirt, my mouth diving for his.

There we were, chest to breast, our mouths moving desperately against one another. It wasn't until his tongue touched my lip that my grasp on reality was severed, and I lost myself in the fantasy that I was his and he was mine and the stupid fucking plan never existed.

**Edward POV:**

_Open your eyes, beautiful... Open your eyes and see me, really see me._

Since I couldn't tell her with words exactly how I felt about her, then I had to show her. I needed to show her, so that I didn't have regrets later about letting the opportunity pass.

After kissing her chastely on the lips, realizing that it may be my last chance, I pulled away and waited for her to _see_ me, hoping that she would understand.

When she finally opened her eyes I looked in them, projecting in my stare every ounce of feeling I had for her and more. It was fierce and fiery, and though I couldn't be sure, seemed to stir something in her. She took a sudden shaky breath, and then...

_Jesus Christ!_ Her answering kiss threw me off balance, causing me to tighten my grip on her hips for leverage. It was both wild and sudden, dripping with desperation and tempting every fiber of my control.

I had fantasized about this very moment repeatedly the last couple of months, but the actual act only made me realize just how limited my imagination really was. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was feeling at that very moment. My senses were overwhelmed by her...her sound, her taste, her smell, her touch_._ I couldn't decifer which way was up and which way was down, disoriented by the feel of her all around me.

It wasn't until my tongue teased her lip, eliciting from her a deep and breathless moan, that my carefully calculated restraint finally crumbled. I pushed my tongue deep inside the warmth of her mouth, and was promptly greeted by the most amazingly soft, wet, slippery, hot, talented tongue known to man.

She may have been lacking in sexual expertise, but she was a well of knowledge when it came to the art of seduction. Her hands traveled to my neck, tangling in my hair while her tongue twisted and twirled around mine, before retracting again.

"Fuck!" I choked out, lunging my hips forward, pushing my dick into her thigh. Then...I froze.

_NO! I can't do this. Not like this._

With a frustrated roar, I ripped myself from her embrace and shot up from my place between her legs, knocking over my chair- the table shifting with a screech.

Standing there, turned away from her with my head in my hands, I heard a soft voice ask, "What did I do wrong?"

_Wrong?... Wrong? It was what you did right that made me pull away, not wrong._ The tent in my trousers was proof enough, and was the reason I couldn't turn around and reassure her like I wanted.

"It's not like that," I answered, wanting nothing more than to hold her close so that she could feel what her kiss _really_ did to me.

As I turned to face her, the sound of bouncing, happy feet echoed from the staircase, moving in our direction.

Quickly, I crossed the span of flooring that lay between us and knelt once again at her feet. Her knees were pulled to her chin, feet propped on the seat below her. I had to see her face, and placing my finger underneath her chin, I raised it up so that her eyes were level with mine. She was upset, that I could see, and she had every right to be. I had let things get too far, and then made her think it was_ her_ fault.

As I was about to apologize and explain my actions, Alice skipped into the kitchen with Jasper in tow.

"Hello boys and girls! How was class?" she asked, her attention shifting between me and Bella, mistaking the scene as intimate.

"Oops, looks like class is still in session. Don't mind us, we'll just be in the other room."

When they turned to leave, Bella quickly stood from her chair and exclaimed, "No!" with more volume than was expected. "That's really not necessary. We were done here anyway... Right Edward?"

She looked at me expectantly, and the look on her face told me there was no point in arguing.

"Rrrright," I agreed hesitantly, not wanting to leave things like they were, but not really having a choice in the matter.

I stared at her, my heart aching and my feet refusing to move, when Alice clapped her hands together and began, "Okay, this is the plan." Turning to Bella she proceeded. "I , unfortunately, have cheerleading practice tomorrow, so _Edward _will be driving you here after school." Then freezing, obviously rethinking her plan, she added, "Matter of fact, he will be taking you to school as well. It will be the perfect time for you guys to show a little PDA for Jacob's enjoyment. God, my brilliance almost scares me!"

Bella opened her mouth to speak, as Alice quickly cut her off. "And I don't mean any of that 'cheek kissing' bullshit, either. I want to see some tongue, I want to see groping, and maybe a little hair pulling." She ended her rant with a satisfied grin.

"Now, any questions?" She asked, daring us to protest.

We both shook our heads and quietly said, "No."_ For an elf, she was very intimidating._

"Good!" She squealed, hopping up in down in place. "Now Edward, I expect you to be here promptly at 7:00 am. Bella is very punctual, and if you're not early, then you're late." Her tone, serious and precise, held a very philosophical air about it.

Jasper clapped me on the shoulder and pointed out, "It's getting late, brother. We should probably be getting home."

I took a last glance at Bella and called out her name questioningly. "Bella?" She did nothing but ignore me, focusing all her attention on the rainbow socks she wore on her feet. "I'll see you in the morning?" I asked, needing to hear her voice one last time before I left.

"Sure."

Her answer was clipped, and I couldn't help but wonder how I'd let things go so wrong so fast.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

The drive home was long and quiet, allowing too much time to think about the debacle that was our evening. I was tired; tired of thinking and worrying about the day ahead. I cranked up the stereo and drowned myself in the smooth inviting waters of Eddie Vedder's voice that flowed from the speakers of my old Alpine.

Once I got home, laying down in the quiet darkness of my room, there Bella was. This was how it was most nights, me closing my eyes and her showing up in my bed wearing nothing but her innocence and a smile. I slid my hand under the waist band of my boxers and took my time, working her out of my head and into my hand.

Finally I was able to relax and fall into a deep sleep.

I rose with the alarm, fulling awake and ready to go. There was a pep in my step that wasn't there before, at least not this early in the day. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, tried to tame my hair to no avail, and grabbed a poptart before jumping in my car and barreling down the highway.

I was eager to see Bella, hoping that she'd had time to think and understand what really happened the night before. _Surely, she didn't still believe that she did something wrong. Surely she could see that it was what she did right that affected me the way it did._

Pulling into Alice's drive, I noticed the dry spot where her car had once been and looked to the house, worried that Bella had changed her mind and left with her.

As I looked to the porch, Bella came booming out of the front door, running down the steps with Poptart in hand.

I leaned over and popped open the passenger side door, and slid back in my seat as she climbed in. While she wrestled with her bag, finally piling it at her feet, I had a chance to take her in; the tangled hair thrown into a loose ponytail, the dark circles that surrounded her eyes, the wrinkled clothes that hinted to the fact that she dressed in haste.

"Rough night?" I questioned, not able to hide my amusement at her frazzled state.

"Couldn't sleep," she snapped, cutting her eyes at me then rolling them back to the front.

_She hates me..._

My hand grasped the gear shift and pulled it into reverse and squealed out of the driveway.

Before I knew it, we were pulling into school. I turned in to park beside Alice and couldn't help but notice Jasper, sitting in the passenger seat with his lips on her neck and hand up her shirt. I quickly turned away with disgust, and looked over at Bella. She was staring at them wistfully with her bag clutched to her chest.

Just as I was about to make a snide comment about them, Bella looked over at me and placed her hand on the door handle. "I'm really sorry that you're in the middle of all this. Don't worry, you won't have to do anything like that...to _me_." Her eyes went to the tangled bodies that sat in the car next to us, before she threw the door open and darted out.

I sat there, trying to grasp what she had said, panicking at the sight of her walking away.

_What the hell was she talking about?_ That was the whole point of me putting myself "in the middle of all this", getting to do things "like_ that_"!

"God, I'm such a fuck up!" I seethed, violently slamming my head down on the steering wheel.

_That's enough!_

I raised my head and shot out of the car. With determination in my step, I took three long strides, stopping directly in front of Bella. She froze wide-eyed, taking a step back, her legs being met by the side of Alice's car. I reached for her, wrapping one arm around her waist, and raised my other hand to tangle in the back of her hair. With rough aggression, my lips crashed into hers, as I laid her back against the hood.

Everything went black; losing myself in the feel of her skin, the taste of her breath, the sound of her gasps.

_Why didn't I just do this last night, just give myself over to the pleasure that only Bella could give?_

As her hands moved up to my hair, my hand moved down to her ass. My fingers pressed into the soft flesh of her cheek, kneading and pulling at her skin. Finally I let my hips move into hers, not pausing this time, but pressing them firmly and with purpose.

It was at the moment that I was aware of the eyes on us, and heard someone in the background exclaim, "Now that's what I call a kiss!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Bella's POV:**

As I tossed and turned, tangled in the suffocating six hundred count Egyptian Cotton sheets on Alice's bed, I struggled to find the comfort of a peaceful night's sleep. It was two-thirty in the morning, and instead of snoring my cares away like Alice only inches away from me; there I was, reciting Shakespeare in an attempt to tire my restless mind.

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

_Oh, and what a kiss it was... Focus Bella!_

"Macbeth does murder the sleep, the innocent sleep. Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of care. The death of each day's life. Sore labour's bath Balm of hurt minds. Great nature's second course. Chief nourisher in life's feast."

"Ugh_,_" I groaned.

_It is **Edward** who does murder **my **sleep._

After recited act after act, scene after scen_e, _the only thing I was able to accomplish was to add even more frustration to an already frustrating situation. With the rhythmic words twisting and merging themselves into the wistful thoughts of Edward that had been choking my mind for the last five hours, I found myself submerged into a pool of desolate desire, battling against the current and running out of time. With only four hours left until our dreaded reunion, I needed rest. Not just some quick nap that would barely get me through the next day, but a deep sleep with REM's and a drool-soaked pillow.

_Why can't I be more lackadaisical, and just fall asleep like a normal person? _

_Probably the same reason you use words like **lackadaisical**._

Early in my childhood, I can remember lying awake in my bed, begging for sleep. On more nights than none, my mother would lie beside me, running her comforting hands through my hair in hopes to lull me. By ten years of age, I had excepted the fact that my brain wasn't wired like everyone else's, and never would be. It was constantly working; absorbing information to over-analyze and dissect until it was almost impossible to stop. I would dwell incessantly on the most unimportant things that seemed monumental at the time. Eventually sleep would come, but not before I had succumbed to complete exhaustion and was without any other option. As a teenager it was no different, except for the fact that the sleeplessness occurred more often and there was an endless supply of conundrums that I could obsess over. Like Edward, for example.

Annoyed by Alice's strangled snorts and spastic twitching, I rolled over, throwing my body on its side and slamming my head back down on the pillow. _She_ was one of _them_, one of the fortunate few who took their ability to sleep for granted. She didn't need sheep or Shakespeare; just a bed and...well, a bed.

Alice was the polar opposite of me. While I held things in and obsessed over them_, _Alice lived out loud, speaking her mind and sleeping soundly. When a problem presented itself, she took care of it then and there. Worry and doubt was something she new little about. By the time she laid her head down at the end of the day there were no unanswered questions or unresolved issues; only sleep_, _and I envied her for that._  
_

With the sound of the clock ticking, reminding me of the dwindling time and dwindling chance I had for rest, I continued my Shakespearian sleep therapy.

It was some where in the middle of Hamlet, Act 3 Scene 1, that I must have finally fallen asleep. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see that more than three hours had past and it was nearly six thirty.

"Sonofabitch!" I whined, unraveling myself from the twisted sheets that had been strangling me for most of the night, and stumbled to my feet.

"Alice..." I reached down and shook her shoulder violently. "Alice!"

She rolled onto her back, clutching onto her tattered stuffed rabbit, and stretched with a groan.

"What time is it?" she asked with a yawn.

"Late!" The panic in my voice was proof.

I threw on the first shirt I could find, a stretched out Licensed To Ill tee, tying it at the waist and pulling my knotted hair through the neck. It was freezing in her room, a total contradiction to the smothering warmth of her expensive bedding, as I hurried to the closet to grab a pair of jeans. I yanked at the worn denim from within the folded heap at my feet, scattering the neat stack to all four corners of her walk-in. My legs still unbalanced with sleep, I hobbled into the snug pair of hiphuggers, avoiding a collision with the corner of her dresser by mere centimeters.

"Didn't you set the alarm last night?"

While I yelled at Alice, distracted by the uncooperative buttons on my button-flies, my anger doubled.

_Why the hell did I let her talk me into buying these goddamned jeans?_

"Oh shit, I must have forgot..."

Alice's words halted as she looked over the clothes that I had haphazardly thrown together, and slurred sleepily, "I'm going to ignore the monstrosity that you're wearing and try not to act like it's making me nauseous. Although, those jeans make your ass looks fabulous.

I simply rolled my eyes, desensitized by her constant badgering, and huffed. "Duly noted. Now get your ass up!"

The rest of the morning went by in a blur. A quick sprint to the bathroom to throw my tangles into a ponytail, and Alice was running out the door reminding me that I had only ten more minutes to get ready.

With no shower, no make-up and no time; I applied deodorant, wiped yesterday's mascara from my eyes, and brushed my teeth to rid myself of whatever had taken a shit in my mouth.

_Looks like you've lived up to your 1st grade nick name, Stinky Swan.  
_

I was in such a hurry that I didn't have time to dwell on the fact that I was only moments away from being faced with Edward and all his easily-obtained glory. The fucker oozed perfection, always managing to look like a fuck-hot disaster. I, on the other hand, only managed to look like a train wreck _headed_ for disaster.

_Not that it matters; he's not interested anyway.  
_

There was a sudden stabbing pain in my gut that caused me to gasp. Whether it was from the truth that I had to swallow down, or for the fact that I hadn't ate an entire meal in two days... I wasn't sure._  
_

By the time I heard Edward's car roar into the driveway, I had accepted the fact that there was no way to cover up unfortunate genes. Something that I had become painfully aware of since puberty... God had a twisted sense of humor. I was flat chested, pigeon toed, and completely uncoordinated. My only saving grace was the inner beauty that I had thankfully inherited from my mother. If Edward couldn't see _that_, then I was shit out of luck.

With one final look at my reflection, I pushed my way out the front door.

Mad, tired, and rushed; I ignored the high-pitched squeal coming from Edward's timing belt, and focused all my attention on descending the steps without falter. Running was a feat in and of itself. Add in stairs and Edward's presence... I could have easily broken my neck_._

Still refusing to look up, I stepped inside the car, showing my book bag an unnecessary amount of attention as I wrestled it to the spot between my feet.

"Rough night?"

As delicious as his voice sounded, it was his arrogance that finally gave me the courage to look at him.

_Smug bastard...  
_

"Couldn't sleep," I snapped back, allowing my eyes to roll a full 360 degrees before looking forward again.

Without another word, Edward turned his head, and maneuvered us out of the driveway and onto the road.

The ride to school was completely uneventful, not a word said or a move made. I had to admit, it was hard. His scent was everywhere, and the heat from his body was scorching.

_"I'm a high school lover, and you're my favorite flavor._  
_Love is all, all my soul. _  
_You're my playground love_."

The song playing on his portable CD player, quickly got my attention.

_"Yet my hands are shaking. _  
_ I feel my body remains._  
_Themes no matter, I'm on fire. _  
_ On the playground, love."_

I flushed with embarrassment, while the eerie voice called me out. He was telling my secret, giving me away, and I hated him for it.

Later, after desperately googling it the next day, I found out it was a song by the band Air. _Funny...considering at the time it seemed as if there was none._

As hard as it was, I endured it. I sat still, trapped in the confines of his car, separated only by scattered books and empty cigarette packs, wanting nothing more than to lick the stubble from his face._  
_

As we pulled into school, parking beside Alice's car, I had the pleasure of witnessing Jasper molest my best friend right there beside us. As awkward as it was, I couldn't help but watch. I wanted Edward to touch me like that. I wanted his hand up my shirt and his mouth on my neck. I wanted... I wanted a lot of things I knew I would never get.

Clenching my bag to my chest, wishing it was Edward, I glanced over at him; the disgust on his face sobering.

_He'll never want me like that._

"I'm really sorry that you've gotten in the middle of all this. Don't worry, you won't have to do anything like that...with me." With a overwhelming sadness and a heavy heart, I opened the door and walked away.

What happened next was a blur of long legs, intense green and wild copper. I couldn't tell you how, why, or in what sequence it happened; but the next thing I knew Edward had me flat on my back with his tongue diving inside my mouth. There was no warning, no _silent plea for entrance_ like I had always read in the romance novels, just a raw desperation to get to what he wanted. It was a flurry of tongue, lips and teeth; the gentleness of last night's kiss no where to be found.

And I fucking loved it.

The speed in which it all happened took me completely off guard and I was slow to respond. That was, until his hand quickly moved to the curve of my ass where he palmed it greedily. After a tight squeeze, his fingers began to slide down along the seam of my jeans, letting his finger tips dip in between my legs.

_Fuck...me! _

Through all the confusion, my hands had instinctively found their way to the back of his hair, fisting and twisting in rhythm with our tongues. Overcome with need, I gave it a firm tug and pushed my fingers deeper to scrape along his scalp. That's when I felt _it_, pressing into to my hip; big, long and hard. It wasn't something you could mistake for anything else, like a pack of gum or his wallet. I could feel the ridge of the tip through the thin denim, and reveled in the fact that it only grew harder with the feel of me against him.

_Is it possible to have an orgasm with only a kiss?_

As I began to feel the familiar burn that I had come to enjoy in the privacy of my bedroom; I could only surmise that, in fact, I could and would if things continued as they were.

Without warning, Edward's pace began to slow and his kisses became easy and tender.

As good as his wild kisses were, the lazy ones were the kind I enjoyed most. They were the kind I dreamed of when I fantasized about him, climbing into my bedroom window and taking me without words.

His lips were soft and wet, slipping and sliding along mine, when they began to travel to my jaw and down my neck.

"Goddamn it, you taste fucking amazing," he grunted.

The huskiness in his voice did things to my body that defied logic... Or maybe it was the way his teeth nipped at my skin just after he spoke, that made my nipples tingle... Who's to say.

Completely lost in the moment, I had forgotten where we were and who was watching...and didn't care. All I could think about was how good it felt and that I never wanted him to stop. But as the old saying goes, "All good things must come to an end." So, it did.

With a not-so-subtle "ahem" from Alice, the tingling in my nipples came to an abrupt halt, as well as Edward's string of delicious kisses.

Slowly, _and disorientedly I must brag_, Edward stood straight, pulling me up with him.I could feel the shakiness in his hands, mirroring my own, as he reached over to smooth my hair with a smile.

"I think we gave Jasper and Alice a run for their money, don't you?" Even with the cocky smirk, his unsteadiness was apparent. On the side of his mouth that rose higher than the other, I saw a slight tremor that wasn't normally there. Not to mention the way his voice cracked on the first few words before he was able to get it under control.

I was just about to agree with enthusiasm, when Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me to her.

"I hope that's your keys in your pocket, Don Juan," she said pointedly, looking at the bulge in the front of his pants that _I_ had caused... _ME!_

His face turned bright red as he pulled at the bottom of his Violent Femmes t-shirt, and mumbled, "Fuck you, Brandon."

Then with a jerk on my hand, Alice began pulling me toward the building, my feet slapping the asphalt in resistance.

"What the hell, Bella? What exactly happened last night?"

"I have no fucking clue," I admitted, going through the events of the night before in my head, totally clueless as to the reason for his sudden change of heart.

"I mean, he might as well have been fucking you right there in front of God and everyone else watching," Alice whispered, her eyes darting around the crowd of people that had gathered to watch.

_"_Are you blushing? Well, fuck me! _I_ made Alice Brandon blush_."_

"Watch it! I'm so worked up right now, I just might take you up on that offer." Glancing behind us, she laughed. "...And I'm not the only one_._"

I turned my head and watched with amusement as Edward stumbled distractedly over a pothole, just barely righting himself before running into the back of some lanky kid carrying a clarinet case._  
_

Too confused to laugh, I turned and shook my head in frustration. "He's seriously giving me whiplash, Alice. One minute he's pulling away from me like I have ass-breath, and the next minute he's attacking me like some rabid dog. I honestly have no fucking clue what the hell is going on and it's driving me insane."

She gave me an innocent look, which only meant she was up to no good. "Well, I think it's about time you even the score. Don't you think?"

"What do you mean? Are we keeping score? Do we have to keep score? 'Cause I'm not you, Alice. I'm not..."

"Don't call me a slut!" She interrupted, pointing her finger in my face.

"I was going to say _confident_." My eyes rolled at her paranoia.

Alice thought little of the boundaries that society had put in place for what was appropriate behavior for a girl. She had slept with more guys than I had talked to in the last three months and had no problem with that ratio. Matter of fact, she prided herself on it. Although, with Jasper, I could tell things were different. _She would never admit it._

"Look, I'm not talking about a gargantuan feast of naughtiness. It's obvious that it doesn't take much for him to get worked up when he's with you. I mean, you're gonna have to spend almost every waking moment with this guy. You might as well have a little fun while your at it, right?" Her innocent smile only managed to come across wicked and brimming with insinuation.

I turned to look at Edward once more, contemplating Alice's words, when a smile broke out across my face.

_Maybe she's right. This could be fun...or a complete fucking disaster. There's only one way to find out...  
_

It took a moment for me to find the courage, but after swallowing my pride and what little inhibition I had left, I finally asked, "What do I have to do?"

Alice's squeal, coming at me at an octave only dogs could hear, immediately made me regret my decision.

"Okay, this is what I'm thinking. I've seen you try to flirt before; and I have to be honest, it's not pretty. I think the best course of action here is to go for the direct approach; catch him off guard so that he doesn't know what hit him. Guys love that shit."

In the time it took to walk from A hall to C hall, she had single-handedly choreographed every detail, down to the force of which I was to pull his hair. Truth be told, it was nothing I hadn't already fantasized about doing- among other things that I was too embarrassed to admit. Dreaming up the fantasy was easy; bringing it to life...wasn't.

Alice was still giving me tid-bits of advice, arguing that passionate kisses were highly overrated, when I ducked inside the girl's restroom with the intentions of losing her.

Instead, she followed after me, announcing loudly, "I gotta take a piss."

My hand had no sooner turned the knob of the faucet, when I heard a strangled sob coming from within one of the stalls.

Now, I'm not usually one to interfere with the healing process- crying is natural and I do it at least once a day- but the moment I smelled the familiar stench of a Dunhill burning to its butt, there was a compulsory need to intrude.

Alice stumbled out of her stall, pulling up her pants and fastening her belt.

"Rosalie," we both mouthed in unison.

With hesitant steps, we moved to stand in front of the door that seemed to vibrate with each heartbreaking cry. The way our last conversation had ended I was a little more than skeptical about intruding on her moment. Still, I couldn't stand the thought of her crying all alone with nothing but cheap, one-ply toilet paper to catch her tears.

Alice raised her hand and knocked lightly on the stall door.

"Fuck Off!" Rosalie yelled with a flush of the toilet.

"Open the goddamn door, Rose!"

_Sometimes I wonder if Alice has a death wish._

With not a stitch of makeup or symmetry to her hair, Rose slowly opened the door with a huff.

"What's _she_ doing here?" she hiccuped, rolling her eyes at me while wiping the snot from her nose.

"_She's_ your friend too, in case you forgot."

Rose looked at Alice, and then to me, before stepping to the side and letting us in.

"What the hell's going on?" Alice demanded, throwing her tiny fists on her hips.

Sinking further into the toilet seat, Rose rested her head in her hands and mumbled, "I've been kicked off the squad."

This was devastating news, and I immediately felt horrible for her. The squad was her family; her own too selfish and self-absorbed to care. Because of her total lack of attention at home, she was forced to improvise. Instead of trying to get attention from her parents, she got it by doing the two things she loved most; cheering and Emmett.

"Why would they do that?" Alice asked, stunned by the news.

"They said I was a bad role model." Rose's voice cracked on the last words.

Rose had always strived for excellence in anything and everything she did. She was head cheearleader, a member of the debate team, and had even won the Alexander Hamilton National Citizenship Award last year for her work with special needs students. Even though it was all done with the ulterior motive of getting into an Ivy League college, she did it just the same.

"What?..." Alice and I yelled in unison.

_Role model? I'd like to know exactly how they define "role model" since their prized members include Jessica, the coke-head; Lauren, the admitted sex addict; and Tanya, the poster child for anorexia. _

Rosalie slowly stood, smoothing out the front of her shirt, and stammered, "I'm...pregnant."

My eyes bugged out of their sockets. Alice, for the first time, was at a loss for words.

_What do I say to that? Congratulations?... Sorry? _

Nothing I could think of, seemed right. So, I asked the obvious.

"Does Emmett know?"

_Knowing him, and the big kid he is, he's probably more than excited with the prospect of having someone to play with._

She nodded her head. "He's taking it better than I am." Wiping at the freshly shed tears, she added, "He's quitting the team. He said football wasn't his priority anymore. He's going to get a part-time job to save money for an apartment after graduation."

"That's great!" Alice shrieked.

"No it's not!" Rosalie's voice echoed against the tiled walls. "Football was his ticket out of here. He was getting a full athletic scholarship to any college he wanted. We were going to go to Dartmouth next fall and leave all this...bullshit behind. Now we're stuck here, and thanks to Jacob, without any support from our so-called friends. He's told everyone. That's how Jessica found out, and got me kicked off the squad." Her gaze went to the floor, as she whispered, "I've ruined everything."

I quickly pulled her into a hug, running my hands through her hair. "No you haven't. You're just going to have to take a detour, that's all. You'll get there. It's just going to take a little longer than you planned." Brushing her hair off her face with my fingers, I reassured, "In the mean time, you know we're here for you, right?"

Alice giggled and added, "Yeah, we'll hold your hair back while you're hurling, and bring you ice cream and pickles when you're too big to walk."

Darting my eyes to her in warning, I continued, "We'll even help you pick out baby clothes. I'll _shop_ with you, Rosalie, and you know I wouldn't do that for just anyone."

Knowing how I felt about shopping, she gave me a weak smile and nodded her head.

Just as I was about to turn around, Rosalie threw her arms around my neck. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I was such a bitch to you when your needed me. I don't deserve a friend like you."

I quickly pulled her off of me, knowing that it was more than likely the baby hormones that was causing her uncharacteristic show of affection. She didn't do _apologies_, and would have been angry later on that I allowed it. "Yeah, yeah... Just name the baby after me and we're good."

She turned toward the mirror, pulling her limp hair into a high ponytail. "Soooo, now that we're on the subject, what's going on with you and that Cullen guy, anyway?"

I looked out the door to make sure no one was coming. "It's a guise," I whispered, my heart sinking as I admitted it out loud.

She only looked at me confused.

I reiterated, using a different approach. "It's a front."

She rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "In English, please."

"They're pretending," Alice slowly translated, moving her fingers in some sort of Rosalie sign language.

_Our dear friend is far from stupid...just lazy._

"Why the hell would you do that? Jacob is seriously livid. He's about to lose it."

Before I had a chance to explain, Alice quickly chimed in. "Good! That's what we want. Aren't you tired of him fucking running this school and everyone in it. Just look at what he's done to you and Emmett. He needs to be knocked off his fucking high-and-mighty pedestal, and this is the only way to do it. Once he sees that he's lost and Edward's won..."

"He'll kill him," Rose deadpanned.

_Now that's a scenario that I haven't considered. Damn Rose and her bluntness!_

The smile on Alice's face was almost devilish. "...And everyone will see the crazy bastard for who he really is."

I always knew Alice could be vindictive, a true believer in the philosophy of "what comes around goes around". The way she was talking about Jacob and the excitement in her voice, she was enjoying it way too much.

Rose stood there for a moment pondering our plan, and with a nod of her head, she asked, "What can I do?"

Alice quickly spun her around, smacking her on the ass on the way out the door. "Walk your pregnant ass down that hall like you own it."

The three of us made our way to our classes, strutting our shit like we were in a Beyonce video. I had my friends back, and together we were invincible; a united front that not even Jacob could break through.

My morning was going slightly better than yesterday. The whispers had lowered to an almost ignorable volume, and the stares had shifted from my face to the back of my head. I heard only three _Whore's_ as I shuffled from class to class, and one _Bitch_ which I liked to think was actual meant for Jessica since I was sitting next to her at the time.

Everything was going smoothly. Until lunch, that is. It was then that the panic hit, making me regret what I had agreed to do. It was time for me to release my inner sex kitten and make Edward my bitch.

_Alice's words, not mine._

As I entered the cafeteria, I gave myself a silent pep talk. _"Okay, Bella, you can do this. We're just having a little fun, trying to make the most of our situation. No biggie. Just walk over there and give him a taste of his own medicine." _

My eyes searched frantically over the crowd of faces, when they finally fell upon Edward, widening at the sight of him staring back at me. My foot took a hesitant step forward, then stopped.

_What the hell are thinking? This isn't a game, this is your heart you're putting on the line. The only reason he kissed you is because he's scared of Alice."_

I dropped my head to the floor, rethinking my decision, when I felt a nudge on my back.

"Just look at those lips, Bella. They're practically begging to be kissed. It would be a crime _not _to."

That's all I needed to hear, and Alice knew it. My eyes shifted to his mouth, the pull impossible to ignore, and suddenly found myself standing right in front of him.

"Hi..." The word came out in a long breath, sounding more like a sigh than an actual greeting.

His eyes narrowed, studying me as he leaned back in his seat. "Hey..."

With little warning, I threw my leg over his knees and situated myself on his lap.

"W-what are you doing?" His nervous stutter only made me want him more.

With my eyes focused on his delicious mouth, I ran my fingers through his hair, fisting them into the soft patch at the back of his neck.

Everything that Alice and I discussed was completely forgotten as I let instinct take over.

"I wanna taste you again."

_I want to taste you? What the fuck? This isn't 31 flavors._

Just as I was about to laugh it off as a joke, Edward's hands moved from the edge of his chair to my hips. The moment I felt his fingers slip under the hem of my shirt and grab onto my sides, there was no holding me back. I tasted him, darting my tongue out and licking his top lip before plunging it into his mouth.

He felt so good, his hands gripping me with desperation while his tongue submitted to mine. Alice was wrong. Passionate kisses were amazing and _underrated_, if anything. You just had to be kissing the right person.

The distance between our bodies suddenly became nonexistent, and his hands moved back to my hips. With a deep moan, he pressed me against him; his dick twitching beneath me. Out of nowhere, he pushed me away and stood from his chair with a jolt.

_Here we go again..._

"I'm sorry. I, uhm..." He began stumbling over his words, while backing away from me. "I gotta go." And with that, he was gone.

I just stood there, cold and alone, wondering what the hell had just happened.

"Did I miss something?"

I looked up to see Jasper standing in front of me with a smirk on his face. "I just saw Edward running out of here like his junk was on fire."

I just shook my head and plopped down in Edwards empty chair, cursing myself for being such an idiot.

**EPOV:**

I darted outside, desperate for air, palming my aching cock with a grimace.

Bella obviously didn't know what she was doing to me, and if she did she would stop. I knew what my part was in all of this; to pretend like I was her boyfriend and do all the things that were expected of a real couple. What I didn't sign up for, was to be her boy-toy; a guy she could tease and manipulate for her own amusement. There was something about her kisses that made it easy for me to think she might have real feelings for me. A raw passion seemed to move from her lips to mine every time they met, and made it difficult for me to grasp reality.

_The reality is, as soon as this is over she'll drop me like a piece of trash she picked up off the ground._

I made my way to the practice field, reclining on the bench that sat on the sideline. My dick only ached more when my thoughts went to the last time Bella and I were alone here; her leg and fist pulling me closer as she whispered my name. I cursed myself for allowing the thoughts, and pushed my traitor dick down with the palm of my hand.

My hands were shaking as I pulled a joint from my cigarette pack, flicking the lighter over and over again in an effort to light it. Once I was successful, I took a deep hit letting the smoke fill every inch of my lungs until tears stung my eyes. The smoke began to expand and just as I was about to let out a strangled cough, I looked up to see a mountain towering over me.

"What the fuck, man? You scared the shit out of me."

Emmett was the largest guy at school. He was bigger than Jacob, standing at least 4 inches taller than him. _A sneaky son of a bitch too._

"Don't you have an underclassmen to torture, or something?" I asked, hiding the joint behind my back.

Emmett sat down beside me casually, as if it _wasn't_ weird as fuck that he was actually hanging out with me.

"Did it," he admitted with a smile, stretching out with his hands behind his head.

I was staring at the football field, fuming mad that my joint was wasting away in my hand, when Emmett took a jab at my ribs with his elbow. "Are you gonna let me hit that or what?"

Exasperatedly, I opened my hand, inspecting the joint's binding for damage, and handed it over to him. I was apprehensive about sharing my weed with random people; although, I'm sure the paranoia had more to do with the weed than the random people.

He lit it, taking in a deep drag, and held it a full minute without coughing once. I was amazed by his ability to hold it in for so long, and assumed it was his athletic background that had helped to increase his lung capacity.

"Don't you jocks have to take drug tests and shit?"

Smoke began to pour from his mouth in a steady stream, ending in smoke rings. "I don't have to worry about that bullshit anymore. I quit the team."

"Good for you," I commended, snatching the joint from his oafish hand.

I took a deep inhale, mimicking Emmett's technique, only to cough out every last bit as soon as it hit my lungs. He sat up laughing, and pounded my back with the palm of his hand. As I choked and gasped for air, Emmett snuck the joint from me, and took a hit.

"So... You and Bella." It was a statement; not a question.

I looked down at the ground and mumbled, "Yeah, I guess so." The lie was so easy for me to believe, yet so inconceivable to everyone else.

"That's cool," he croaked out after taking another hit, burning it down to a roach.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a while, zoning out to the sound of the wind moving through the trees, when Emmett suddenly blurted, "Rose is pregnant."

_What the fuck?_

I jerked my head to the side to see if he was being serious, and found that the pour guy had somehow aged 30 years in 30 seconds. I searched my brain, trying to think of something prophetic to say; some words of wisdom. But... Damn.

_What do I say to that?_

He blew out a long breath and slumped his shoulders. "Sorry man, I didn't mean to unload that on you. I haven't really had a chance to tell anyone, yet. That fucking dick, Jacob, saved me the trouble. I guess I just needed to tell someone myself, ya know?"

I just nodded my head and dropped my eyes back to the ground.

I had never really talked to Emmett before. It didn't really seem like we had much in common. While he was working out and playing football, I was getting stoned and playing XBOX. Now that I'd had a chance to talk to him, I could see our similarities. We were both stoners, we both thought Jacob was a dick, and we both had a secret to tell.

Scratching my nails in my scalp as I pushed my hair back out of my face, I confessed. "It's a lie."

"No, she's really pregnant, I watched her piss on the stick. Those things are like 99%..."

I shook my head. "Not Rosalie, dumbass. I'm talking about me and Bella. We're a lie. We're just doing this to piss off Jacob... Or, at least she is." I hung my head down, blowing out a long breath, feeling the weight on my shoulders dissipate.

"Why?"

Confusion was becoming the normal reaction to me and Bella, so I wasn't surprised when I saw it on Emmett's face.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Let's just say, payback is long overdue."

With a quick lurch forward, he stood to his feet and balled his hands into fists. "What the hell happened in the meadow the other day? I know for a fact that what Jacob said is a goddamn lie. What the fuck did he do to her?"

The anger resonating in his voice took me to a place I had tried to forget; hearing Bella's screams for help while pinned to the ground. No longer able to fight my rage, I was compelled to tell Emmett the whole story, wanting to make him as angry as I was. Emmett seemed like a loyal friend, and it was for Bella's own good to have him on our side.

After I had filled him in on everything, he began pacing and pounding his fist into his hand. "I'm gonna fuckin' kill him. I'm gonna find him and I'm gonna kill him."

I quickly stood and grabbed his shoulders to calm him down. "Listen, that's why we're doing this. No one would believe us if we came out and said what really happened, not up against Jacob's word. And if you start kicking his ass, who do you think will believe you when you try to explain why? Our only option is to drive the truth out of him. He's done shit like this to too many people. Look at what he did to you and Rosalie. We can't let him get away with it anymore. He's gonna flip, and there's a chance that we might get the backlash, but we don't have a choice. That's the only way to get everyone to see that he's not so fucking perfect."

Emmett took some deep breaths before asking, " Why didn't she tell her dad? He's a cop, right?"

I shrugged. "He only sees what he wants to see."

He took it all in and nodded understandingly. "I've got your back," he assured, clapping his massive hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks."

I was about to turn and leave, when Emmett quickly grabbed me by the front of my shirt, pointing a finger in my face. "You better not let anything happen to her, you got it? If Jacob makes a move, you better fucking tell me. I'll take any excuse to castrate that motherfucker."

I swallowed deeply, gently cupping my balls in my hand. "Yeah, I got it."

I began making my way toward the school when I heard Emmett call my name.

"And Edward..."

"Yeah?" I turned to see a shit eating grin spread across his face.

"Stop being such a fucking pussy and tell her how you feel."

He only confirmed what I already knew. I knew it yesterday, when I kissed her, that I couldn't continue with this lie. I couldn't pretend to pretend anymore. My life had been missing something, and the last couple of days had made me come to understand what exactly that _something_ was.

It was her.

I knew at that moment, that I would love her every moment of my forever.


	10. Chapter 10

**Teenage Dirtbag**

**Chapter 10**

**BPOV:**

"Stupid, stupid stupid." I chanted as I walked down the hall in a daze, nervously chewing on my thumb nail.

Fighting the tears, unsuccessfully, I silently cursed myself for what I had done. I had begun to think that this arrangement of ours could be real and now it had been proven false. At some point this charade had stopped being about Jacob and had become a necessity for me. Without feigning revenge, I wouldn't be able to continue this fantasy of me and Edward as a happy couple.

As I looked down at the, now yellowing, bruises on my wrists, I no longer saw them as reminders of my humiliation. I now looked at them as battle scars from my victory. I was free of Jacob and his prejudices. My hate for him was still there but I no longer had the taste for revenge that I once did. My hunger for vengeance had been overthrown by my hunger for Edward. And now I realized that my hunger would never be satisfied. Edward didn't want me and his rejection hurt me more than Jacob ever could. _  
_

I stumbled my way to my locker blinded by tears wishing it would open up and swallow me whole. Leaning my forehead against the door, I suddenly felt a hot breath on my neck and could have swore I smelled the sulfuric scent of Satan. Too scared to turn around, I closed my eyes tight feeling the tears of heartbreak being replace by tears of terror.

Forceful hands grabbed my waist as I heard Jacob's husky voice mock concern, asking, "Awwwww, what's wrong, Bella? Did you and Lover Boy have a fight?" Then the concerned voice changed to menacing, as he spat out, "I watched him put his filthy, inexperienced, hands on you. Are you missing mine yet? I'll make you forget all about him. I'll fuck you so hard you won't even remember his name." His rough hands drifted from my waist to my stomach and made their way to my thighs as I felt his lips brush against my neck and his dick poke into the small of my back.

When he let one hand slip between my legs, a choked sob slipped from my lips. Just as quickly as he arrived, he was gone. Protectively, all my senses had shut down with his approach, and as they returned, the sounds from the crowded hallway deafened me. I slowly opened my eyes, blinded by the light of the florescence.

Searching for him through the many faces bustling to their classes, I gasped as Alice bounced into view, shouting, "Hey Bella!" My hands flew in front of my face reflexively as I hunkered down in a defensive crouch.

"Whoooaaaa......" Alice yelled stepping back with her hands up. "What's with you?"

Grabbing her shoulders I looked over her head, anxiously, expecting to see Jacob standing right behind her. "Where is he? Did you see him?" I blinked my eyes to make sure they weren't lying to me, but he was nowhere to been seen.

"Who?"

"Jacob!"I whispered, as if saying his name would conjure him.

I dropped my head down to my knees and began taking deep breaths trying to calm myself down, and forget the feel of his hands on me.

"I don't see him." she said, rubbing my back and scanning the busy hall. "I probably scared him off with my massive guns.", flexing her bicep and kissing the small hump proudly.

As I stood, I leaned back against the lockers to ensure that my legs didn't give out beneath me. I didn't want to tell her what had happened and thankfully she didn't ask. I knew that if I told her, she wouldn't let me give up on the plan and that was exactly what I had decided to do.

"So, how did lunch go?" Alice asked, feigning innocence.

"Don't... Ask." I answered, narrowing my eyes at her.

"What? What happened?"

"Look, I think it's time we call this game lost. I can't do it anymore. I've already been hurt by Jacob and I'm only gonna get hurt again, either by him or Edward, and I don't think I can handle either outcome." Trying to sound confident, with my shaky voice exposing my uncertainty. What was I kidding? I couldn't just forget about Edward. His touch had been branded into to my memory and my body had been affected permanently.

"Bella, think about what you're saying. If you give up now, then yes, there is a chance that Jacob will hurt you again. But, if this works, he'll never be able to hurt you or anyone else." Alice urged, adding "And you know, just as well as I do, that Edward would never hurt you."

Defensively I argued, "He already has, Alice! You don't think it hurt, to have him pull away from me when I tried to show him how I felt, 'cause it did....more than he'll ever know. My feelings for him grows a little more every time he touches me and it's killing me to know that he's only doing it for Jacob's benefit." I shut my mouth, as the tears ran down my cheeks, realizing what I had just admitted.

"Bella....I didn't know. Why didn't you say anything?"

I shrugged my shoulders and answered, "I didn't know what I was feeling... until this morning. We were on our way to school and I couldn't help but stare at his hand, wishing it was in mine.... or on me. His hand, Alice. That's all it took. I'm pathetic, aren't I?"

"Absolutely not... When I caught Jasper staring at my ass, I knew he was the one I would marry." she said laughing. "So, if you're pathetic then there's no hope for me."

I tried to smile at her failed attempt to make me feel better, but it was lacking in authenticity.

"I think you need to talk to Edward about this. I have a sneaking feeling he won't be too quick to call it off." she said looking as though she knew something that I didn't.

"Why do you say that?...." I asked, but abruptly shook my head, fighting my curiosity. "Ya know what, I don't care, it's not his decision to make. I'm ending this tonight and he'll just have to find another way to get back at Jacob for ...whatever reason."

Alice threw her arm over my shoulder and began leading me down the hall as she calmly urged, "Look, all I'm saying is that you should talk to Edward about it before you just up and .....quit. Jasper is staying with me after school while we practice and then we're going to his house for a little while to.....uh.... study. My parents won't be home until late tonight, so it's the perfect time for you guys to talk.... Use it wisely."

"I don't think there's much to talk......"

"Damn it, Bella! Don't be so thick headed and just do what I ask." She interrupted impatiently. Taking a deep breath, she continued with a smile and less abrasive tone, "I know it's hard for you to open up to people, but I think that it's time that you did. Edward's a good guy, and he seems easy to talk to, so... talk to him."

I nodded my head as I relaxed my shoulders in defeat.

Walking to class, the halls now empty of possible witnesses, I was suddenly aware of the silence as I looked around for signs of Jacob. A shiver ran down my spine as I hurried into the classroom, barging through the door like a crazed woman. Once I was in the safe realm of my French class, I sank into my seat, lulled into deep thought by Mrs. Spivey's monotonous _oui_'s and _s'il vous plait_'s.

The rest of the day went by quickly...too quickly. Before I knew it, I was being dismissed from English and was making my way to the parking lot looking apprehensively for Edward. I still wasn't ready to see him. The last time I was with him my heart had been crushed beyond repair and I knew I would feel the phantom pain every time I looked into his eyes.

Speaking of eyes; there they were, zoned in on me as he leaned against his car with his arms crossed over his chest. I silently cursed Alice for putting me in this situation. This was _not_ the time for me to be around him....alone. "Damn, pom pom!" I whispered to myself.

As I approached, he hurried to the passenger side, opening the door for me with his gorgeous smile plastered to his face. I returned his with a tight smile of my own as I slid into the seat clutching onto my books like a shield.

The ride home was uneventful...in a bad way. The silence was deafening and I noticed that he would often open his mouth as if to say something, just to close it again and look at me with an awkward grin. I knew he was wanting to tell me that he didn't want to keep up with the act anymore, but I wasn't ready to hear it yet.

Once we walked into the house, I looked over at Edward who was taking off his green military jacket exposing his defined chest, and shook my head as I said, "I need...a fucking joint."

"Right on top of that, my lady." he said whipping out a bag of pot from inside the front of his pants._ Oh God, how I wished I was that bag of pot._

My eyes were bugged when I realized I had stared too long at his crotch and was met by his as I quickly raised my head.

"What?...... Where else am I suppose to put it while I'm at school. I can't leave it in the car or Jasper will steal it."

I just laughed and nodded my head toward the staircase. "Come on, let's take it to Alice's room so it doesn't stink up the place."

At the bottom of the stairs we were caught in an awkward dance, not sure who was going to go up first. As he began ascending the stairs he looked back at me, taking hold of my hand and pulling me behind him.

The view from there was breathtaking. I had never really had a good look at his ass before and was now regretting that I did. The vision had been burned into my retina like an old tintype photo.

I made it to the room and hesitantly let go of Edward's hand to sit down at the head of the bed. He settled down right beside me with his knee lightly resting against mine. The electrical shock caused by this innocent touch, caused my clit to pulse involuntarily. _Who knew my knee was connected to that part of my body_. I couldn't help but breath in slowly to savor his scent, knowing that after today, I wouldn't be this close to him again.

He rolled the joint nimbly and handed it to me to inspect and light. We smoked in silence as I thought about what I was going to say and building up the strength to say it.

Before I could find my voice, Edward opened his mouth and started, "Bella, I'm sorry for....."

I closed my eyes and took my chance, interrupting him to unload the lie that I had been reciting in my head. "Edward, really, you don't have to say it. I completely agree that this isn't working. The plan is a bust." Looking over at him, his eyes on me looking confused, I added with a fake grin, "I mean, the only thing it's accomplishing is to ruin our chances of being with someone we really want to be with.....Right?"

Then the pain struck. I stood up to walk to the window and looked out, hiding my face from him while the tears pooled in my eyes. It was silent for what felt like an eternity. I turned to see Edward with his head down fingering the intricate design on the bedspread.

His head began to nod slowly in agreement, his eyebrows scrunched together. When he finally opened his mouth, "No" is what came out. _And I thought I was confused._

I watched him closely as he stood and made his way to me. I felt the heat from our bodies collide just before he stopped, standing dangerously close.

His eyes were full of emotion as he lifted his hand, brushing his thumb across my lower lip. "Bella" he whispered in a deep voice, "_You_...are the one I want."

'_He's lying_.' I told myself, praying that he wasn't. "But yesterday....TODAY!......you pulled away...."

Before I could finish my rant, he pressed his lips against mine delivering a soft chaste kiss that was over way to soon. Before I could react to his words, his arms wound around my waist lifting me up, forcing me to look at him once we were at eye level.

"I'm not pulling away now." He affirmed, first verbally and then physically.

His lips crashed into mine forcefully as his body mimicked the action, pushing me against the wall. My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, tightening their grip, as my hands roughly clawed their way through his hair. It felt so good and so right to be wrapped inside of his arms again.

His embrace tighten and a soft grunt escaped his lips as his tongue found its way in my mouth. His familiar taste rocked my body causing it to shutter against his. My nerves couldn't handle the pressure that was building in my stomach as I fought to keep myself under control.

I broke away from his kiss, gasping for air, wondering what the hell had changed his mind. Not more than three hours ago he had rejected me and now ...what?...I was suppose to forget about the humiliation it caused.

His mouth then attacked my neck, as he breathed, "I've wanted you for so long."

My head fell back against the wall shaking from side to side, as I urged myself to end this torment.

"No, Edward, you can't do this." I pleaded, placing my hands on his chest pushing him away.

His lips broke away from their place on my neck and closed together, forming a tight line as his eyes looked up into mine.

Trying to steady my breathing I explained with frustration, "You're confusing the hell out of me and now I don't know what to believe. We started this...thing, whatever it is between us... under the cover of a lie. You made that clear, when you pushed me away. I was trying to show you how I really felt and you brushed me off. Now, I'm suppose to put all of that aside and believe that you really want me."

My eyes stayed on his until he broke our connection looking down at my hands which were now in his as he traced small circles in the back of them with his thumbs. "You're right, I did that, and I apologize, but you took it _all_ wrong. I have wanted you every moment of everyday since I laid eyes on you and having you kiss me, knowing that it wasn't real, was to much for me to take. So, I resisted...to keep myself from falling for you even more than I already had."

"How can I believe you want me, after being refused by you so many times?"

He pulled my left hand to his chest and asked with heavy eyes, "Do you feel that?"

Feeling his heart pound relentlessly fast in his chest, I nodded slowly biting my lip.

Then he trailed it down his chest to his stomach forcing my palm to cup the hard thick evidence of his adoration. "Do you feel this?" he said swallowing deeply as his eyes closed with my touch.

Feeling his reaction to my touch caused an earthquake in my chest. I never knew my heart could beat so hard and so fast without bursting from my bosom.

In that instant, I made the choice to risk possible heartbreak so that I could enjoy my time with him before he came back to his senses. As I looked into his eyes I questioned if I ever really had a choice at all.

* * *

**And there you have it. I know this was all in BPOV so I promise more EPOV in the next chapter. Let me know if you're still diggin' it. Your reviews are very motivating and sometimes even give me ideas for future chapters. Thanks for sticking with me. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Teenage Dirtbag**

**Chapter 11**

**EPOV:**

As I watched her walk away from me, feeling my heart pound with every step, I thought about her words. "_The only thing it's accomplishing is to ruin our chances of being with someone we really want to be with.....Right?_"

_The only thing that would ruin my chances for being with the one I wanted was if she ended this now_. Before answering her ridiculous question, I nodded to myself realizing what I had to do.

"No" I said, standing and walking to her. The need to profess my feelings for her became overwhelming.

Focusing on her mouth, its familiarity, I brushed my thumb across her lower lip gaining the courage that I needed.

"Bella..._You_...are the one I want."

"But yesterday....TODAY!......you pulled away...." her voice filled with both anger and frustration.

I cut her off with a kiss, sweet and simple, to silence her. I couldn't bare to be reminded of my stupid selfish mistake.

That kiss ignited a flame that burned deep inside, needing to be smothered by her touch. My arms wound themselves around her waist and lifted her off her feet.

Finding strength in her eyes, I affirmed with conviction, "I'm not pulling away now."

I couldn't hold back any longer as my lips crashed into hers forcefully. My body followed, pushing her against the wall, coaxing her legs around my waste. Her hands quickly found their way through my hair, threatening the stability of my legs.

She was killing me slowly with every movement. She felt so fucking good pressed against me, knowing that this was for us and us alone. At that moment there was no Jacob and no lies, just her and I letting all of our honesty wash over one another through our lips and our hands.

Her tongue tasted like heaven and her body tempted me like hell.

'_This must be a fucking dream.' _I thought._ 'I smoked so much weed that I passed out.... That's it. I'm really lying on Alice's bed drooling on her designer sheets in a weed coma_.' If it was a dream, I was gonna take full advantage.

Moving my lips to her neck, tasting her sweet skin, the truth easily rolled off my tongue.

"I've wanted you for so long." I grunted, when suddenly I felt her body tense.

Abruptly, I was snapped back to reality with a shove of her hand. _I knew this was too good to be true._

She shook her head with a hint of regret. "No, Edward, you can't do this." _Oh god, she didn't want me_.

I simply listened, waiting for her rejection, as she berated "You're confusing the hell out of me and now I don't know what to believe. We started this...thing, whatever it is between us... under the cover of a lie. You made that clear, when you pushed me away. I was trying to show you how I really felt and you brushed me off. Now, I'm suppose to put all of that aside and believe that you really want me." The resentment evident in her voice.

_'How she really felt? Could she really care for me too?'_, I thought, questioning her confession, as I listened to her erratic assumption.

I _had_ pushed her away...... to protect_ myself_, not to deny_ her_. And, because of that, I was on the verge of losing any kind of chance I had with her. It was time I laid it all on the line.

My eyes dropped down to my hands, which were now holding hers. "You're right, I did that, and I apologize, but you took it _all_ wrong. I have wanted you every moment of everyday since I laid eyes on you and having you kiss me, knowing that it wasn't real, was to much for me to take. So, I resisted...to keep myself from falling for you even more than I already had."

"How can I believe you want me, after being refused by you so many times?" She questioned with desperation.

_'How can I make her believe me when there are no words to describe the depth of my feelings for her?'_ She needed _proof_... and that was exactly what I was going to give her.

I slowly pulled her left hand up and placed it flat on my chest. "Do you feel that?" I asked, revealing both the relentless beating of my heart and the hunger in my voice.

I watched as she slowly nodded her head, biting her lip. That simple gesture caused my heart rate to speed even faster as I felt the pressure in my jeans build to an excruciating throb._ 'If she could only feel the physical evidence of my affection, my feelings couldn't be denied.'_

I hesitated half of a second, questioning my next move, before I trailed her hand down my chest to my stomach placing it on the warm, hard evidence.

"Do you feel this?" I closed my eyes, fighting the urge to press her palm down harder to relieve some of the discomfort she had caused me.

When my eyes opened and focused on her, her lips were opened slightly and moving toward mine at an agonizingly slow speed. I focused on her mouth impatiently waiting for it to meet mine, when suddenly it stopped, just shy of its destination. Closing her eyes, she licked her lips and lowered her head, slightly shaking it in indecision.

Just as I began to lose all hope, her head lifted and her eyes opened. "Fuck it", she said as her lips crashed into mine eagerly.

The tempo we had set earlier, quickly shifted from slow and sensual to fast and feral. Her arms latched on to my neck as her body propelled itself toward mine, throwing us both backward onto the bed.

"Damn!" I whispered as I grabbed her ass that was now straddling me while she moved her mouth all over me in desperation.

Our hands became needy as they viciously attacked one another. While her hands pulled wantonly on my hair.... my hands snaked up her shirt worshiping its perfection. She clawed at my chest as I ran my hands down her sides to her hips, pulling her roughly against me._ God, I have never wanted anything so much_.

"FFFFUCK!" I growled as her wet heat moved across my shaft.

Her panting was driving me mad and I would have taken her, here and now...... but, I knew I couldn't. Not like this. She deserved so much more.

I rolled us over on our sides and moved my mouth from hers, placing it on her neck as I trailed slow passionate kisses down to her collarbone, thinking about how our first time would be...should be. Our breathing slowly returned to normal and our hands began to caress, rather than attack, one another. My lips released her neck and I pulled away to look down at her delicate frame lying beside me, that until now, I had only been able to enjoy in my dreams.

"You are absolutely beautiful." I sighed, as I scanned my eyes over her body, noticing all the perfect details that I was finally able to appreciate fully.

As she laid there, patiently allowing me to enjoy every dip and curve of her, I was taken back at the sight of the faint bruises that still marked her wrists. I hadn't looked at them since it happened. The urge I felt, to kiss them away as I held her in the parking lot, remained.

Bringing her wrist to my mouth, I gently pressed my lips against the fading reminders, muttering, "I don't know what I would've done if anything had happened to you."

Doing the same to the other wrist, I promised, "I will _never_ let him touch you again."

Smiling softly, Bella took my hand and kissed my palm before placing it on her waist. "Only you can touch me." Then closing her eyes, she exhaled the breath she had been holding, waiting for me to continue my exploration.

God, how I've dreamed of this moment, to have her this close to me, to be able to explore every inch of her body. I watched my hand run down her side, my thumb grazing the side of her breast. Her nipple reacted immediately to my touch and strained against the confinement of her shirt. I slowly raised my eyes to see that she was watching me, anticipating my next move. I licked my lips, remembering the taste of her skin, before dropping my eyes back down to the beauty lying before me. Moving forward with determination, I slid her shirt up and watched the rise and fall of her stomach as her stuttered breaths quickened with my touch. My fingers began to trace lazy circles around her belly button before running along the line of her low riding jeans. When I heard her slow exhale, a satisfied grin spread across my face, knowing that _I_ was the one making this angel sigh with pleasure.

I loved watching her body react to me. The way her nipple blossomed at my touch, the goosebumps that spread like a wildfire under my hand, and the shiver that ran through her body urging me to continue. I watched all of these things in amazement, that _I _could cause this kind of response. She had been torturing my poor body, without knowing it, for months, and now it was my turn. Yet, her physical reactions weren't enough. I wanted to hear my name fall from her lips again. I wanted her to acknowledge that it was_ me_ who made her feel this way.

Building up the courage for my next move, I bit my lip as I popped open the button of her jeans, then slowly slid the zipper down while watching her rub her legs together anxious for my touch. Her eyes opened, heavy with need, pleading for more as she grabbed my hand and led it inside the front of her jeans. She needed me, almost, as much as I needed her..._Almost_. My need escalated beyond the breaking point when I felt my knuckles slide across the soaked cotton of her panties. _Mother Fucker!_. As my fingers moved through her soft curls, my middle finger dipped inside to bathe in her juices. My mouth began to water, imagining how good it would taste...on my chin.

My body shivered at the feel of her slick warmth. "You're so wet." I grunted, concentrating on controlling my pending orgasm.

I must have looked pathetic, trembling beside her, nervous about my inexperience. I had never been with anyone like this before and the feel of her was slowly sending me over the edge. Sliding through her folds, my probing finger circled her, tightly wound, bundle of nerves.

That's when I heard it...Faint and breathy, but my name just the same.

"Edward..." She exhaled, lifting her hips against my hand.

Hearing that word fall from her beautifully aroused lips, I knew that I could die today and be a happy man.

As my hand began to move on its own accord, to quench its thirst deep inside her wetness; I was halted by a loud banging on the door downstairs.

Startled, Bella quickly raised up and pulled her knees to her chest looking at me with wide eyes. I could tell she was stunned by what had just happened.... and to be honest, so was I. Her body had hurdled me into a sexually induced haze, causing me to focus solely on her, forgetting that there was a whole other world apart from ours.

The silence was deafening as I thought about what had just happened. I never planned to take things this far, but I couldn't stop. It was like I was in a daze, acting only with my sense of touch, reading her body like braille.

"Are we okay?" I asked, worried that I had pushed her into something she didn't want.

She answered with a smile brighter then the setting sun that was shining through the window across her face. "Perfect." She exhaled.

Before I could get too excited about her answer, the banging resumed.

"Go Away!" I yelled as I let my head fall back on the pillow and my arm hide the agony in my eyes._ Why, God!? Why?!_

Combing her fingers through my hair she laughed out, "It's gotta be Alice. She knocks like a cop with a search warrant." Huffing, she rose to her feet. "She must have forgotten her keys."

I rose to my knees, pulling her to me. "Yeah, well I say we leave her out there and maybe next time she won't forget her fucking keys." I mutter between kisses. "It would be... a learning experience." I continued, trying to explain the legitimacy of my teaching method.

"Hmmmmm." She sighed in my mouth, before pushing me away and clearing her throat. "It's her house, Edward. I have to let her in."

As she headed down the hall, I jumped to my feet to follow her down the stairs. Watching the way her ass swayed as she descended each step, I couldn't stop the animalistic thoughts that went through my head. I knew then that I would never get to use to the way she made me feel.

Once we reached the bottom step. I playfully attacked her from behind, wrapping both arms around her waist, as she screamed with shock.

"I can't help it...." I growled while assaulting her neck with kisses.

Moving my mouth to her ear, I whispered "You bring out the beast in me."

She swallowed deeply as she reached for the door knob. The door opened and instead of being met with Alice's usual annoying smile, we were met by Charlie's intimidating scowl. Even though the anger in his eyes was hidden behind his standard issued Ray Bans, it was written all over his face.

A gasp came from Bella as she shimmied out of my arms. "Dad, it's not what you...."

That's all she could get out before he grabbed her by the arm, pulling her out of the doorway and toward the cruiser. "I've been worrying about you for two days and this is what you've been doing!...Playing house with this delinquent! You're coming home with me, little girl."

"Dad, No! You can't do this! Let me explain! I can't go home! You're gonna leave me alone!.... I can't be alone!" I heard her screaming as she struggled against his fierce hold.

"Bella!" I yelled, as I ran after her. "Mr. Swan, really... I just gave her a ride."

"That explains why she smells like dope!" he yelled, not bothering to look in my direction.

At the sound of my voice, her head shot up and with all of her strength, she jerked free from his grasp. Throwing her arm around my neck and placing her lips to my ear, she whisper with panic, "Don't leave me alone tonight...Please!"

Confused, I nodded hastily, wondering what had made her sound so scared. Before I knew it, Charlie had climbed the porch steps and was pulling Bella by both of her arms toward his car, throwing her in the back seat like a common criminal.

As the car began to take off, she pressed her hands against the window and mouthed the word _'Jacob'_.

_Jacob?....Jacob!_ I had forgot he existed. The last couple of hours had been just me and Bella and I was beginning to get comfortable with that arrangement. But, there he was... fucking shit up again.

I watched the cruiser speed away, as gravel pelted me from underneath the spinning wheels forcing me to take cover behind the door. My mind was reeling. It had taken approximately five minutes to be catapulted from the clouds of heaven to the bowels of hell.

Standing behind the door, my forehead and palms pressed against the cold wood, I gritted my teeth trying to ease the tingling that was slowly creeping up my arms and legs and the feeling of suffocation that signaled the oncoming panic attack. "Not now! Not now!" I screamed through my clinched teeth, banging my fist against the unyielding door.

She looked so small and so fragile in Charlie's angry hands. I couldn't shake the image out of my head, until another one sprung from my memory of _Jacob's_ angry hands holding her down on the ground. That was the only other time I had seen that look of pure terror in her eyes. _'He must have threatened her again'_. My fingers dug into the grain of the wood, as I pictured them around Jacob's throat, digging into his skin as he gasped for air.

I had to get control of myself... for Bella. I took a deep breath and slung open the door, willing myself to fight the tremors that had begun to affect my balance. "Get a grip!" I said, wiping the sweat from my forehead, fumbling with the keys, and turning the ignition to hear.......Nothing.

"Come on, Fucker! Start!" I yelled at the piece of shit I called a car. I pumped the gas peddle furiously turning the key over repeatedly.....Still nothing.

I sat there with my head leaned back on the seat, taking deep breaths before trying again. I did the only thing I could think of doing....reason with it.

"Okay, dude. I know you're ass is old and I've put you through a lot of shit, but if you will do me this one favor, I promise I will change your oil, buy you new tires, give you what ever the fuck you want. Deal?"

Holding my breath, I reached over and turned the key one last time....The rumble of the engine caught me off guard. I sat trying to catch my breath, my anxiety overwhelming me, before throwing the car in drive and speeding my way toward Bella.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxx

**BPOV:**

"Dad, No! You can't do this! Let me explain! I can't go home! You're gonna leave me alone!.... I can't be alone!" I screamed as I tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. He just continued to drag me away from the one person that I knew would protect me. Charlie wouldn't even believe me, how was he gonna protect me?

I gave in to his persistence, allowing him to drag me without effort, until I heard an angel's voice yell my name. "Bella!"

Hearing Edward yell my name as he pleaded with my dad, I found the strength to pull free from my father's fist. I ran as fast as I could to Edward's opened arms and threw mine around his neck to beseech, "Don't leave me alone tonight... Please!"

I saw the confusion in his eyes as he nodded his head, just before I felt my arms jerked back and my body following. Charlie threw me in the back seat of his cruiser like a shackled prisoner. The tears stung my eyes as I thought about Jacob's last threat. '_I'll make you forget all about him. I'll fuck you so hard you won't even remember his name.'_ Jacob had proven that he keeps his promises and he had even given me a preview of his promise, touching me as if I was still his.

I pulled myself upright in the seat, pressing my hands to the window. "Jacob" I mouthed to Edward, to make him understand the reason for my plea. Then, was flung back into the seat as the car sped away throwing gravel at the house.

I felt nauseous as I fought to rid my mind of the unwanted memory of Jacob's threat. I quickly switch my train of thought to Edward and how safe I felt in his arms. It was so unlike any feeling I had ever felt. Even when I first started dating Jacob, his touch always felt firm and forced.... nothing like Edward's. Edward's touch was always soft and comforting, reminding me what heaven might be like.

Just as I began to feel relaxed in my thoughts, Charlie ripped me away from my calm.

"What the hell are you thinking, Isabella! That Cullen boy is nothing but trouble. I could see that from a mile away. Is that who you dumped Jacob for?... Is it!?"

Shaking my head at his naivety, I explained with frustration, "Jacob's not the person every body thinks he is. He's got you all fooled. How do you not see that?"

"Don't try to blame all of this on him..... Jacob is a good boy." Charlie assured, mostly to himself.

"Jacob is a liar!" I screamed at the top of my voice, causing my dad to flinch at my anger.

The rest of the ride home was quiet, except for the occasional interruption from the CB radio. I couldn't believe how blind he was. How he could believe Jacob over me, his own daughter. He use to think of me as _a good girl_, but now my name was mud and it was all because of that lying bastard.

Once we got home, I ran upstairs to my room slamming the door to accentuate my fury. I waited to hear Charlie leave, only to hear a knock at my door.

I didn't answer.

"Bells?....I'm leaving."

I had nothing to say.

"Look, why don't you just call Jacob and try to work this out? If what he said wasn't true, then he misunderstood what he saw. Maybe if you explain to him what happened, you guys can work this out."

I was devastated. Charlie was still taking Jacob's side even after hearing my disdain for him.

My emotions shut down. I felt numb with the realization that Jacob had won. He had slandered my name and ripped my dad from me without the least bit of remorse. I had no choice but to except this fact and move on.

Emotionless, I answered, "He didn't lie. I fucked Edward... and I don't feel bad about it. Jacob's just too..........." I shut my eyes and let a single tear fall to the floor before finishing, "good for me."

Collapsing to the floor, I doubled over, clutching my stomach as the pain of my words consumed me. It was excruciating, like daggers in my gut, and I couldn't move. I was frozen in agony.

Lost inside my oblivion, I drifted off to a restless sleep.

_The meadow was still and quiet, no breeze to stir the fallen leaves. I was standing in the middle of the open field when I saw the beautiful tulip jutting out of the cold ground. It was radiant, standing tall and proud, outshining the naked trees and their dark shadows. As I moved my hand towards it, it began to whither and turn in on itself until it was lying on the ground, brown and lifeless. Fear struck my body as I stood and felt a hot breath run across the back of my neck and heard the deep menacing growl of the wolf. 'Where is my angel?' I thought. 'He promised to keep me safe...never let him touch me again.' But, he was no where in sight. A tear fell down my cheek as my terror left me motionless. The beast proceeded to taste the skin on my neck with his rough wet tongue, letting out a deep chuckle laughing at my fear. My eyes closed and my body tensed as I heard his paws crunching the leaves, the sound moving in front of me. My eyes shot open when I felt his cold nose nuzzle my breast then lick the side of my face. My mouth opened to let out a scream ... but no sound came out. He had stolen my voice and all hope. "You're mine." he growled as he nudge me to my knees forcing me to kneel at his feet. Realizing my defeat, I laid down before him, in offering, as he dug his teeth into my chest devouring my useless heart. _

XxXxXxXxXxX

The next thing I knew I was awoke by the sound of tapping on my window. My hands still clutched in fists around my stomach, I opened my eyes to find that I was still on the cold hard floor. Achingly, I pulled myself up.

_'How long have I been asleep?'_, I questioned myself, as I slowly stood to my feet and walked to my bed.

As I was about to lay back down, the tapping resumed more hurried than before. I snapped my eyes to the window afraid of what or who I would see.

Perched in the tree outside was Edward, my protector and the boy who held my heart, or what was left of it.

I sprung to my feet and pushed up the window, grabbing Edwards shirt in my fist, all in a matter of seconds, anxious for his comforting embrace.

"Whoa...whoa...Bella! Let me get inside before you try to rip my clothes off." he laughed out, climbing through the window.

As soon as he was inside, I threw myself at him, attacking his face with kisses. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

Trying to pry me off of him, he grabbed my arms and asked, "What's this all about? What's going on, Bella? Your dad left almost an hour ago and I've been tapping on your window for, like, 30 minutes." Finally pulling me in his long strong arms, he whispered, "I was scared."

His voice lulled me to a calm that I only had when I was with him as I sank into his chest. I couldn't tell him what had happened, what my dad had said. I couldn't go through it again, relive my dad's hurtful words. I just wanted to lose myself in Edward's arms....smell him...feel him...love him. He was the only person that I felt this close to. Alice was my best friend, but saw me more as her child. She always tried to keep me from feeling, always changing the subject, scared that I would break or crumble. Edward knew my strength and gave me strength. He let me feel, held me while I cried, and comforted me with his silent assurance.

Losing myself in his embrace, I took a deep breath and sighed, "I love you."

"What?" he whispered as he grabbed my arms and looked into my eyes.

_What had I said?_ Looking down at my hands, I thought about my words and was amazed by how right they felt coming out of my mouth. I did love Edward. Even though I had only known him a few days, I had fallen head over hills for him and even if he didn't feel the same, I needed to confess it.

Looking into his eyes, I repeated, firm and true, "I love you, Edward."

He pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head before saying, "Oh God, Bella. I've loved you for too long. If I would have told you when I first wanted to, you would have thought I was crazy. I've been a pussy, a stupid fucking pussy." He laughed and looked into my eyes again before professing, "Bella....I love you. I love you. I love you..." Kissing me between each admission.

Now this...this was heaven and I would be content to stay here in my heaven for eternity, though I knew it couldn't last.

As I laid, curled in his arms, I drifted off to a dreamless sleep hoping the nightmare was over.

* * *

**Okay, there were some requests to make the chapters longer. I believe this is the longest chapter I have written so far. I hope the length didn't cause the chapter to suffer from too many details or fillers. Let me know what you think.... and thanks to all you who have taken the time to review. It always makes me smile when I see review alerts : )**


	12. Chapter 12

**Teenage Dirtbag**

**Chapter 12**

**BPOV:**

I woke with Edward's arm wrapped tightly around my waist and the heat of his body running down my back. His arms were strong yet gentle, giving me a feeling of peace. With a sigh of contentment, I relaxed into this hiding place, cutoff from the rest of the world.

I loved this new hiding place. It was safe, warm and always opened. The structure itself, was solid, reflecting the outside world and whenever I hid there, Edward was with me.

Laying against his body feeling his cool breath wash over the back of my neck, I couldn't help but think about his words, _'I love you, I love you, I love you.'_ I absently ran my finger tips along my lips, remembering the feel of his as they met mine with each confession.

It was still unbelievable, how strong my feelings for him could be. I had only known him for a short time, but already knew that he was the one. It was easy for me to picture myself marrying him, walking down the church isle arm in arm... Making love to him on our wedding night, lying on a beach under the stars... smiling up at him as his hand rests lightly on my pregnant belly, feeling the first kick.... Watching him rock our child to sleep as he hums a soothing melody, soft and sweet.

Though my hopes were high, our chances were low. The romantic in me, foresaw a 'Happily Ever After' as the pessimist waited for it to crash and burn.

With all these thoughts running through my head, I was startled when the pillow I was laying on shifted. A set of lips assailed my neck and, with a low hum, they made their way to my ear.

As I rolled over to face my assailant, I was met with Edward's sleepy green eyes and adorable crooked smile.

"Hello beautiful." he greeted, lazily propping his head on his hand.

Biting my lip, intimidated by his waking perfection, I answered with a simple "Hey."

Pulling me closer to his body, he lowered his head to began where he had left off. As soon as his lips touched my skin, his hand ran down my side to my hip, reaching the back of my knee to pull my leg up and over his.

"I love waking up with you in my arms." He muttered in between kisses. "But it was pure fucking hell, hearing you say my name in your sleep and not being able to touch you." He finished as he grabbed my ass firmly and attacked my mouth with his.

_Oh, God! What did I dream?_

Trying to use my brain, while Edward's hands and mouth were on me, proved to be pointless. But, once his hand crept under my shirt, the dream suddenly came to life. Feeling his skin on mine caused images to emerge of his naked body, flawlessly defined, against mine. As his hand covered my breast, I remembered the warmth of his mouth enveloping it. Tasting his tongue in my mouth sent me over the edge remembering the taste of his sweat as I licked my way down his chest to his...........

With my recollection, my eyes rolled back in my head fighting the urge to offer myself to him, _body_ and soul. Before I could stop, I had positioned myself on top of him, straddling him with my hands on his chest and my tongue in his mouth.

Feeling his hardness straining against me, I instinctively ground down on him, moving my hips forward. The friction it caused, made me moan with pleasure, as it sent me to a place of ecstasy I had never been.

Moving his hips with mine, he let out a low growl that resonated from deep within his chest.

"OH God, Edward" I breathed. "You're better than my dream."

_'What? What the hell has come over me?_' I asked myself, shocked by my lack of inhibition. I was feeling all these new emotions and wasn't experienced enough to handle them. I knew if I didn't slow things down, I would do something that I would later regret.

I quickly moved from his body and sat at the headboard of the bed.

"Sorry...Sorry." Edward apologized, holding his hands up in front of him.

He was sorry? ...What did he have to be sorry for? He couldn't help that he was an amazing kisser with a seductive voice that had the power to turn me into his concubine.

"No, no, I'm sorry Edward. I'm... I don't know what I'm doing. I've never done anything, and I mean _anything_, like this before. It scares me. It's so easy for me to lose myself with you. You know exactly what to do and you do it well. I've never done any of this and I don't want to ... embarrass myself." I explained in humiliation as I hung my head, resting it against my bent knees.

"Hey...Hey. Look at me Bella."

As I hesitantly lifted my head, I was met by his piercing eyes full of concern.

"Don't ever feel embarrassed with me. I'm just as new to this as you are. The way I see it, we can learn together. Okay?"

His words and his eyes, relaxed me. As he ran the back of his fingers along my cheek, he leaned in and kissed me passionately. My hands tangled in his hair as I moved back to straddle his lap. The familiar feeling of his hard length between my legs, caused me to giggle against his mouth before pulling away to give him a knowing smile.

Running a shaking hand through his hair, he breathed, "Trust me, you're better than you think." and closed his eyes, swallowing deeply, before laughing at the situation.

Before we could continue our _practice round_, we were interrupted by a loud rumble and the unmistakable funk/metal beat and political banter of Rage Against the Machine vibrating my windowpane.

"Who the fuck!?" Edward hissed as he sat back in frustration.

Standing from the bed, I peeked out of the window and saw Emmett's Jeep rocking with the music.

"It's Emmett.' I answered, adding "He dates a friend of mine, Rosalie", making sure he didn't think Emmett and I.... That would be gross. He was like a brother to me....a very immature, bratty brother.

We ran downstairs and before I could open the door, Emmett came barging in bellowing, "Honey! I'm home!"

Laughing at his idiocy I hugged Rosalie, asking "Did you have to bring him?"

"He's like a little lost puppy that I can't seem to shake. My mom always told me not to feed strays and now I know why."

Emmett just barked and walked into the kitchen to snoop through the fridge.

I watched, out of the corner of my eye, as Edward joined him punching his arm and giving him hell about Rose. They were acting as though they had known each other for years, and as far as I knew, they had never talked to each other.

I narrowed my eyes at Rosalie and asked, "Is this an episode of the Twilight Zone... When did this happen?" throwing my hand in their direction.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Oh, you haven't heard? Apparently, Edward is Emmett's new "BFF" since they bonded over a joint at lunch today....Crazy isn't it?"

I watched the two of them wrestle in the kitchen like children before walking in and asking, "I was going to cook us something if you guys can postpone the 'smackdown' until after dinner."

"Hells Yeah, B. Anything for you....and a free meal." He answered hugging me to his side. The moment was short lived when he looked down at me and asked with a strange voice, "Have you had any other visitors tonight?"

"Uh, noooooo...?" I replied in confusion. "Why do you ask?"

Before he answered, he looked over at Rose who just smiled at me, looking oddly uncomfortable. As long as I had known her, she had never been uncomfortable with anything. I mean, hell, she practically fucks Emmett everyday at school for all to see. So why did she have that look now?

Emmett quickly spouted out indifferently, "Oh, Jacob was just talking some shit this afternoon at school, so we wanted to check in on you and keep you some company." Then quickly changed the subject.

"So, can I help you with dinner, I'm fuckin' starved. Rose won't feed me anymore. She said I have to watch my weight now that I'm not playing football.... I say screw that and give me a fucking Big Mac."

Edward noticed his odd behavior too. "What kind of shit was Jacob talking?"

"Oh hell, some bullshit about Bella begging him to take her back."

Edward's eyes narrowed, not believing Emmett's explanation. "What else? You wouldn't have come out here to check on her for that."

Emmett rubbed his face fiercely as if trying to decide if he should tell us or not. Letting out a long breath he finally resolved to telling us the whole story.

"Jacob said you were begging him to come over tonight so that you two could talk and work things out...." Rubbing his forehead, he continued reluctantly. "And he told some people that he was going to come over here and show you exactly what you've been missing while you were 'taking out the trash'." Jerking his head in Edward's direction.

The air was thick as his words hung there, suspended in space, waiting for one of us to break the silence.

I was quickly taken back as the thoughts of Jacob's words from earlier sprung to mind.

Looking down at the ground in my own thoughts, I inattentively spoke aloud. "He warned me. He saw me crying at my locker after lunch and asked if me and Edward had a fight. He said he saw Edward touching me and asked if I was missing him yet." Letting my tears run freely at the memory of his hands on me, I wrapped my arms around myself protectively.

"He ... touched me, while he told me exactly how he could make me forget about Edward. I've never felt so dirty."

Wrapping me in his arms, holding my head to his chest, Edward asked, "Why didn't you tell me, Bella?"

"I didn't want to think about him anymore, or talk about him. I just wanted to forget about him. Edward, I don't want our time together to always be about Jacob."

Emmett quickly lightened the moment with, "Yeah, saying his name is like taking a shit in your mouth. It leaves a bad taste and ruins your appetite....Speaking of appetite, what about that dinner."

Rosalie huffed out her distaste for his choice of metaphor before smacking him on the back of the head and pulling me into the kitchen.

"Listen, honey, don't worry about Jacob. Edward and Emmett can handle him. But, you've gotta tell them if he fucks with you again. Okay?"

"I know...."

Before I could get anything else out, the front door swung open and Alice ran in dragging Jasper behind her.

"Damn you, Bella! I've have been worried sick about you. I tried calling you all afternoon and then when I get to the house, you're gone. What the hell were you thinking?"

Looking around at all the eyes on her, she casually swept her spiky hair off her forehead and calmly said, "I'm just saying, you should have let me know what you were doing."

I walked to her and hugged her apologetically. "Sorry, Alice. Charlie came by and .... well, _ordered _me home. I didn't have time to grab my things."

"_Ordered _you? He took you in to custody, Bella!" Edward seethed.

"He just doesn't understand. He still thinks Jacob hung the fucking moon." I refuted.

"Have you tried telling him the truth?" Rosalie asked.

"I can't... and I don't want to talk about this anymore. This is the first time in a long time that I've had all my friends together. I don't want to waste the night talking about that dick. Okay?"

With that, Alice and Rosalie sent the boys in the living room and joined me in the kitchen to start dinner.

We had a great meal, Chicken Parmesan, and talked about our plans after graduation. Emmett was proud to announce his employment at his dad's advertisement company and that he was looking at apartments for him, Rose and the baby. Rose, excited about the baby, went on and on about baby names and described one of the upscale apartments they were looking at in Seatle. Alice was planning on going to Parsons Fashion design school in New York, saying "It's one of the most reputable fashion design schools in the states." Spouting off some of its graduates with excitement. "Tom Ford, Donna Karan, Narciso Rodriguez...they all went there." Jasper just looked at her, with hearts in his eyes, and admitted that his plans only consisted of following her where ever she went. Edward briefly threw in that he had been thinking about just traveling for a while, getting a job where ever he landed. But, looked at me when he admitted that there had been some recent changes that were making him rethink his plans. _God, I loved that man._

I wasn't sure of my plans. I knew I wanted to go to college, and had submitted a few applications, but just hadn't made my mind up as to which one I wanted to attend.

After dinner we sat on the back porch and smoked a joint, laughing at Jasper's plethora of useless information. He was excitedly telling us about a series on the discover channel that he had become addicted to called 'Life'. He went on and on about this insect called the stalk-eyed fly that sucks in air bubbles and blows them through its head to push its eyes out ... on stalks, and that the males with the widest eye span gets the most attention.

Emmett started laughing and said, "That would be fucking awesome if men could do that with their dick."

Rosalie sarcastically chimed in with an "Amen."

We were having a great time until we heard a car pull up and saw headlights illuminating the front yard.

"I better see who it is." I said, nervously.

Emmett and Edward both stood to follow me.

Emmett, placing his big hand on Edward's chest, said, "Allow me. I don't think Charlie wants to see you. Plus, I'm really hoping it's Jacob so I can smash his face in."

Edward ignored him and followed us around the house to the front yard.

Immediately I saw the white IROC parked in the drive and Jacob stepping out with a big fucking grin smeared across his face.

"Well, well, well. A party? For me? And it's not even my birthday."

Emmett stepped in front of me, while Edward moved to my side.

"What the fuck do you want, Black?" Emmett growled threw clinched teeth.

"Fraternizing with the Enemy, McCarty?"

"If anyone's the enemy here, it's you, Fucker." He spat back.

"I'm hurt, really hurt. I thought we were friends." Jacob fained disappointment.

Walking slowly over to me, Jacob looked over at Edward. "So, I guess you two kissed and made up, huh?"...."Sweet."

Edward took a step toward him, but I grabbed his arm to stop him.

Edward's breathing was heavy as he held back his anger. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to check on my girl. See that she was...safe."

"Fuck you! She is safe....with me." Edward seethed as he firmly held me to his side.

I watched as the look in Jacob's eyes turned from humor to outrage. Taking a step forward he reached out and grabbed Edward by the front of his shirt.

Just then, I heard Jasper behind me. "Was I not invited to the brawl?...How's I like a good fight, bring it on Mother Fucker!"

Looking at Jasper, and the crazy twitch in his eye, Jacob let go of Edward's shirt realizing he was out numbered.

"Fuck you!" He said, poking his finger in Edward's chest.

Turning toward Emmett then to Jasper, he yelled," Fuck you and you! This ain't over... It's just begun. Better watch your backs, cause next time there will be no backing down."

Walking to his car, he turned around and looked at me holding his fingers up to his nose. "I can still smell you, baby."

Before I knew it, Emmett had sprinted to him and thrown him against the car holding him by the shirt with one hand with the other rared back waiting for impact.

"It's taking all I've got to keep myself from caving your face in. So, I suggest that you hop your happy ass back in your lame ass ride and fuck off."

Jacob quickly jerked free from Emmett's fist and got in his car. Flipping his middle finger in the air, he sped out of the drive and down the road.

Mentally exhausted, I leaned all my weight into Edward's side relieved by his departure.

"Bella, its okay. He's gone. You're safe." he said trying to calm my nerves.

Alice walked over to me and took me from Edward's arm and walked me into the house. The rest came in and said their goodbyes.

As Emmett and Rose were leaving, I heard him and Edward discussing their plans. "You stay here tonight and hide out in her room. If Jacob comes back, call me. I mean it. You better fucking call me."

Edward agreed and followed them to the door.

Alice asked if I wanted her to stay and I said no. As much as I loved her, I knew Edward would be able to protect me.

"Okay, sweetie. I'll see you at school and bring your stuff from my house."

I thanked her and kissed her cheek before her and Jasper walked out.

Closing the door behind him, Edward looked at me with concern. "How are you, baby?"

"Okay." I answered shakily.

"Well, it's been a long day. You need some rest. I'm gonna stay with you tonight so don't worry about Jacob. I don't think he'll be back anyway."

Picking me up in his arms, he walked us up the stairs to my room and gently placed me on the bed.

Needing some time alone and time to think, I said, "I think I'm gonna take a quick shower. Is that okay."

Nodding his head with understanding, he sat down on my bed. "Go ahead, I won't go anywhere."

I pulled a tank and some pajama pants out of my draw and walked to the bathroom to try and wash the day away. The hot water hitting my back helped my muscles to relax. I hadn't realized how tense I was until I felt my shoulders slowly begin to drop down to there intended spot, instead of level with my ears. With my eyes closed, I let the peacefulness wash over me. Once my body had turned to jelly, I quickly washed, then stepped out to dry off and dress.

Remembering who was waiting in my room..... on my bed, the butterflies returned in my stomach. I would never get use to the effect he had on me.

Opening the door to my room, I was caught off guard seeing Edward shirtless, in only his jeans, sprawled out across my bed looking through a magazine.

My heart stuttered as I tried to walk, and not run, to him.

Looking up from the magazine, his eyes focused in on my tank top as his tongue slid across his bottom lip.

Clearing his throat, he shook his head and returned his gaze to the magazine. "Uh, I never knew how much information on sex these magazines had in them. If I did, I would have started reading them a long time ago." Then threw it on the night stand and patted the spot beside him, inviting me to sit down.

Sitting down next to him, I admitted, "Yeah, it's pretty detailed isn't it. I read it mainly for the make-up and fashion tips." I wished that I _had_ read the articles now.

He placed his fingers under my chin and looked into my eyes before saying, "You don't need any of that stuff. You're perfect the way you are."

I had been without his lips on mine for too long, and hearing him say that drove me to 'attack mode'. I threw myself at him, holding nothing back, and he accepted me with open arms.

He sucked my lower lip into his mouth, then licked it asking for entry. I opened my mouth and let his tongue explore mine. I could kiss him forever and never get tired of it, but I knew I wanted more.

Feeling his bare chest with my hands, I felt the urge to taste it. I wanted to see if it tasted as good as it did in my dream.

Moving my lips from his mouth, I attached them to his neck working my way to his collarbone. Once I reach his chest, he moaned in pleasure and withdrew his hands from my body, waiting to see where my mouth went next.

I couldn't get enough of his taste. My mouth moved further and further down until it reached his belly button. Slipping a finger in the waist band of his jeans, I licked down the trail of hair that vanished inside his pants.

I knew what I wanted and it was right there within my grasp....literally.

**EPOV:**

It had been a long day and Bella had been through so much. While she took her shower, I couldn't stop all the thoughts running through my head. I thought about Bella and the fact that she loved me as much as I loved her. I thought about what Jacob had said to her and how he had touched her. Then, my thoughts switched to an image of her naked in the shower._ I was a teenage boy, for Christ's sake._

Trying to rid my mind from all the thoughts bombarding it, I picked up a magazine that was lying on her night stand. As soon as I opened it, I noticed an article about 'How to make sex fun'. I quickly turned the page. _How the hell could sex not be fun?_ The next page was 'How to find your G-spot'. That one caught my interest, since I had no clue about the 'G-spot'... or where it was.

As I read, trying to learn something for the next time I had my hand down her pants, there she was standing at the door. Her hair was wet, hanging down the length of her back like a river flowing between her shoulder blades.

I was awed by her beauty. Even in her pajama pants and tank top, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

I watched as a single drop of water slid down the skin at her collarbone. And couldn't help but wish that I was that water drop as I watched it take refuge inside her top, slipping in between her bountiful breasts.

I quickly averted my attention back to the magazine. "Uh, I never knew how much information on sex these magazines had in them. If I did, I would have started reading them a long time ago."

Throwing the magazine back on the night stand, I patted the spot next to me silently asking her to sit down.

"Yeah, it's pretty detailed isn't it. I read it mainly for the make-up and fashion tips." She admitted, sitting down next to me.

She was gorgeous without make-up and I loved her in those tight ripped jeans she always wore, they fit her ass perfectly. And the T-shirts she wore, tied on the side, showed just enough of her pale skin to make me want to see more.

"You don't need any of that stuff. You're perfect the way you are." Hoping she could hear the honesty in my voice.

As if she was thinking what I was thinking, she attacked me full force...slamming her lips to mine, throwing her body at me with total abandonment.

_'I will never get tired of this.' _I thought to myself as I surrender to her entirely.

Her lips left my mouth and made there way down my neck to my chest. I couldn't contain the moan I released, and didn't want to. I wanted her to know how good she made me feel. I wanted to tell her, but knew there was no point in trying to form an intelligible sentence with her mouth on me.

I held my hands back, giving myself over to the overwhelming sensation of her mouth moving down my body.

When I felt her tongue trail down my abdomen and her finger slip inside the waist of my jeans, I nearly lost it. If I had lost anymore control, I would have came, right then.

She stopped and looked up at me curiously.

"Edward, I just want to try one thing." she said seductively, moving her eyes to my zipper.

Realizing what she was talking about, I swallowed deeply before slowly nodding my head. _Oh my god!_

I propped myself up on my elbows so that I could watch her nervously pop open the button of my jeans, then carefully pull the zipper down exposing my boxer briefs.

Chills ran down my body when she sat herself up and put her tiny fingers into the waist of my boxers and jeans. With one steady move she pulled both articles of clothing off my legs, exposing me completely.

Immediately, my dick sprung out to rest against my stomach, the tip nearly touching my bellybutton. The feel of her warm breath hitting the sensitive head of my dick, caused it to twitch and pulse. Her eyes widen at the sight of me, then relaxed into a heavy look of lust as she bit her lip.

Nervous about what was about to happen, I stopped her with an uneven voice. "Bella, you don't have to do this."

Grabbing me gently with her warm soft hand, she insisted, " I want to, Edward. Please let me." Then, began stroking me with her finger tips.

My head fell back as a strange noise left my throat, a cross between a grunt and a moan. Before I had time to get use to her hand, I felt a warm wetness slide up my shaft, then circle around the head.

"Fuck, Bella, that feels so good." I breathed out quickly, with one long breath.

As soon as her mouth surrounded me, I knew I was done for. My dick began to pulse as I yelled, "Oh God, Bella!"

I quickly pulled her mouth away from me and placed her hand on me, guiding it with my own, up and down my length. With a loud, "FFFFFuck!", I came hard....harder than I ever had by myself.

After wiping us both off with my shirt, I pulled Bella up to me and held her as I planted kisses all over her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I repeated, knowing it could never really express the extent of my gratitude.

Shyly, she looked up at me and asked, "Did I....Was it.....?"

Moving her hair out of her face, and looking into her loving eyes, I answered the question that she could get out, sure and firm, "You were perfect."

As I leaned in for another kiss, she yawned in my face.

Laughing at her sleepy adorable face, I laid us both down on the pillow and said, "You need some rest. I'll stay awake until you're dad gets home and make sure he doesn't find me in your bed. We don't need to piss him off more than he already is."

She simply nodded her head and laid down on my chest, falling asleep almost immediately.

Looking at my sleeping angel, I whispered lowly, "I am yours forever.....through sickness and health, 'til death do us part... You will always have my heart."

* * *

**That's that...Hope you enjoy. I know that Jacob is a prick and a lot of you are hoping that he's "gutted", "castrated" or "dies from a STD". Just remember that 'payback' is a bitch and karma always comes 3 fold. Thanks again to all the faithful followers and for those who take the time to leave an encouraging review. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up within a week, so until then.....**


	13. Chapter 13

**Teenage Dirtbag**

**Chapter 13**

**EPOV:**

There I was, sitting in the swamp that use to be Bella's front yard, the rain beating me relentlessly as if, it too, was angry at what I had done.

_What had I done?_

I was still trying to wrap my head around the events that had transpired only moments before.

_I was watching Bella sleep, wondering what she could be dreaming to make her say my name the way she did. If it was anything like the dreams I had of her, it was vivid and definitely R rated. _

_I pulled her body closer to mine and, using her heartbeat as a metronome, I hummed a melody as she sank deeper into my chest.  
_

_Then... everything went dark._

"Fuck! Fuck!" I hissed, slamming my fist in the mud.

I Fucking let myself fall asleep. That would explain why I didn't hear Charlie when he came in and saw his daughter using my half naked body as a blanket.

I shook my head, thinking of the sight he must have walked in on, as my thoughts took me back to the exact moment that my world ended._  
_

_I felt a firm jerk on my hair just before I was pulled from Bella's body, the cold air attacking my bare chest, making me aware of my partial nudity. _

_"YOU SON OF A BITCH! GET YOUR GOD DAMN HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTER!"_

_My eyes shot opened and I flinched at the sight of Charlie in his policeman's uniform, as my eyes focused on the gun tucked neatly inside its holster.  
_

_Bella sprung out of the bed at the sound of Charlie's raised voice and venomous words, throwing herself around me._

_"NO, DADDY! PLEASE DON'T! I LOVE HIM!" _

_ My eyes shifted to her, watching her tears spill over in a constant stream. It was devastating to see her like this... and all because of me.  
_

_Charlie's steps halted at what she said. He turned to look at his daughter kneeling at my feet with her arms wrapped __desperately __around my waist._

_I could see the heartbreak in his eyes as he listened to his baby girl's anguish. The pain he felt for what he was doing to her was obvious and I couldn't help but feel guilty that I was the one causing this pain... for both of them._

_Just when I thought he was going to let me go, his jaw clenched and his grasp tightened._

_"You don't know a damn thing about love." he mumbled before pulling me from her hands and driving me through her bedroom door._

I knew what love was and how it felt. I had been feeling its affects for days and possibly even months. I felt a strong connection to Bella the first day I saw her. She was standing in the hallway, outside the school office, squinting down at a piece of paper she held in her shaky hand, looking lost and confused. I didn't know what the feeling was, but I caught myself wanting to run to her and confess the unnamed emotion. There was some sort of bond between us, even then, that only grew stronger with every passing day. I felt it, even if she didn't.

_Before I could get my footing, Charlie forced me down the stairs, holding me in a policeman's headlock with my right arm painfully stretched behind my back._

_I tried to speak but could only choke out, "Mr. Swan....Please! Let me expl....." My words were cut off by Charlie's arm. It tightened around my throat applying more pressure to my, already constricted, vocal chords._

_"There's nothing to explain other than what I'm gonna do to you if I catch you around my daughter again!"_

_'Nothing could be worse than losing her.' I wanted to say, but was unable, as I pulled at his arm realizing it was a lost cause.  
_

_Violently, he pushed me out of the front door and onto the muddy ground in the pouring rain._

_"Stay away from her, you hear me!? If I catch you talking to her, or even as much as mentioning her name in passing, I will ship your ass outta here so fast you won't have time to pack. Don't dare me, boy... unless you want it done."_

_I watched, squinting through sheets of rain, as Charlie walked back through the door, pushing past Bella._

_There she stood, looking down at me with defeat in her eyes. I waited for her to fight, to stand up to Charlie... but she didn't._

_That's when I saw it, the child that Charlie saw when he looked at her. She was his baby girl... and I was just a mutt that had pissed in his house.  
_

_"I'm sorry, Bella. So sorry." was all I could say. There was no excuse I could offer her. This was all my fault._

_"Me too." she whispered inaudibly, before turning and shutting the door behind her._

I sat in the rain, soaking in its hopelessness, as the mud swallowed my sinking heart. Why was I such a complete fuck up? It seemed like I was doing everything possible to sabotage my own happiness. I couldn't do anything right when it came to us and was on the verge of losing her because of this inadequacy.

Once I realized that I was in the rain... by myself and that Bella wasn't coming back out to tell me it was all a joke, I pulled myself up and walked back to my car using the rain to mask my tears.

The rain was cold on my back, my teeth chattering constantly as I watched the white billows of smoke escape my mouth with each breath. I walked slowly, punishing myself with the cold, until the car was in view and my need for warmth took over. I hastily made my way to the Malibu and slid into the seat, bringing the rain in with me.

When I was inside and sheltered from the flood, I dried myself off with an old towel that was covering a jagged rip in the vinyl seat and laid my head back with my eyes closed tight. An image of Bella's devastation at hearing my apology resurfaced from my memory. "Me too." I whispered, thinking of her words and their meaning. _What was she sorry for?_

I grit my teeth and began punching the roof and dashboard repeatedly, while yelling a stream of obscenities at myself.

"Mother Fucking worthless, piece of shit, asshole!" I screamed, trying to think of the word that best described me.

I know I looked like a complete lunatic , but I couldn't stop myself. That was exactly what I was. I couldn't have fucked things up anymore thoroughly if I had tried.

Not only had I fucked things up for myself, but had also fucked things up for Bella. If _I_ couldn't be around her anymore, then that meant that _someone else_ could...Jacob. There was no way Charlie was going to be able to keep me away from her, no matter what he threatened me with.

I wasn't going to give up _that_ easy. Regardless of what Charlie did, I was never going to stop loving her and would never stop fighting for her.

**BPOV:**

I watched as Charlie threw Edward, with my heart, out in the rain. I couldn't stop him, I didn't have any fight left in me. I simply stood there, drowning in my tears, thinking how things should have been different...could have been different... would have been different. I should have never gone out with Jacob. I should have been true to myself and maybe then I would have noticed Edward when he noticed me. I could have had more time with him. But should have's, could have's, and would have's wasn't going to help me now.

Edward apologized...for what? It wasn't his fault that I wasn't strong enough to stand up to Charlie or that I had brought him into this fucked up situation in the first place. My life was shit...my luck was shit. He was the one good thing in it and I was too selfish to stay away from him.

Turning to the living room I saw Charlie sitting on the edge of the couch with his head cradled in his hands. He looked beaten and tired, exhausted by his disappointment in me.

Seeing him like this, took me back to when I was 13.

_He was sitting on the same couch in the same position when I walked out with my mom, Renee, four years earlier. I had decided to go with her to Arizona after their separation and as we walked out the door with our bags in our hands, he sat and cried, never looking up to say goodbye._

We were inseparable, Charlie and I. I shadowed him, following him everywhere he went. I would watch him get ready for work, putting on his authoritative uniform, while I played with his badge like it was a shield, holding it out in front of me while imaginary bullets buzzed past me and struck its steel. He was my hero. My friend. My father.

When he and mom split up, I had to choose between staying with him or leaving with her. I knew dad would be fine on his own. But, mom?...She was a different story. She couldn't cook, hated to clean and was awful with money. I couldn't feed her to the wolves, sending her out into this great big world all alone. Plus... a girl _needs_ her mom. She might have been a lousy wife, but she was a great mother. She was loving, patient, generous, and wise beyond her years. I needed her as much as she needed me and that was why I chose her. I don't think Charlie ever got over that_._

I forced myself to look away and started for the stairs.

"I don't even know who you are anymore, Bells."

I froze, hearing the sadness in Charlie's voice.

"What happened to my little girl? The one that loved her daddy and hated to disappoint him?"

I turned to him, not being able to hide the tears in my eyes.

"I'm right here, daddy! Can't you see that?" I sobbed, moving to stand in front him.

He jerked his head up from his hands. "That little girl walked outta here four years ago and never came back. I don't know who you are, but you're not _my_ little girl. She wouldn't break my heart the way you have!"

His words laid heavy in my heart as I fell to my knees under the weight of their meaning.

Looking up at him from my place at his feet, I cried out, "I'm sorry!" Burying my face in my hands. "I'm sorry."

Even though he was wrong about everything, me and Edward...Jacob, it broke my heart to see him like this. He was grief stricken, as if his little girl had died and was being replaced by an impostor.

I wasn't saying sorry for breaking his heart, I was sorry for growing up without him in my life. He had missed my transformation from little girl to woman, so he couldn't see me for who I really was.

With desperation, I looked up at him and pleaded, with my hands on my heart, "I am still that foolish, confused and scared little girl, daddy. Except now I have more to be confused and scared about. I know you don't understand the choices I've been making lately, but I _promise_ that _nothing_ I have done has been to hurt you. If I told you the truth, you wouldn't believe me. All I can do is ask for you to love me... and trust me."

Standing from his place on the couch, he shook his head and said, "I will always _love_ you, Bella....but trust, that's something entirely different. How can I trust you when you've made every effort to make me distrust you. First, you cheat on Jacob. Then, you shack up with a juvenile delinquent, who by the way has been arrested _at least_ 5 times for possession of marijuana in the last year. All of this, _plus_, you sneak him in the house behind my back. Now, how exactly am I suppose to trust you when it's obvious that I can't?"

I looked down at my hands in my lap, thinking about his words and how, when it was all laid out like that, it sounded _really_ bad. Then I remembered that I was doing all of this for Charlie as well as for me, to save him from knowing who Jacob really was._ I_ wasn't the one that Charlie couldn't trust.

Still looking at my hands as if they held the answers to life's questions, I answered, "Just know that there are things that I'm not able to tell you right now and that, as much as you hate Edward, I love him."

Grabbing my arms, Charlie jerked me up from the floor and stood me directly in front of him, so close that I could see the vain, jutting from his forehead, pulsing with rage.

"You are not to see that boy again.... EVER! Is that clear?"

My face twisted in agony as his words cut threw me like a knife.

"Why are you doing this?"

He let go of my arms and looked at me with astonishment.

"Bella, you have hurt people with the choices that you have made for this boy. Namely Jacob. Now, I don't know what happened between you two, but you have some explaining to do... and apologizing. I'm not going to sit here and let you throw your life away for some... punk."

He walked away from me to stand at the bottom of the stairs with his hand on the rail and turned back around.

"Tomorrow, you'll call Jacob and get all of this worked out."

Putting a foot on the bottom step, he quickly added, "And I mean it, Bella. If I see you with Edward again, I will have him sent away...for good. With his record, it would only take a phone call." And then he walked up the stairs to his room.

I fell to the floor and cried. I _knew_ what Charlie _didn't_ say. It was in his voice, even if he didn't say the words. He wanted Jacob and I back together and he was going to make damn sure it happened. His threat was proof of his persuasive abilities and I wasn't about to let Edward take the fall for me. I would do what ever it took to keep that from happening.

It took all the strength I had left in me to pull myself up and off the floor and made my way upstairs to my room.

The room was still and quiet, as I walked into the emptiness feeling more alone than I ever had before.

It's funny how one bad choice can change you life completely. One minute your happy with your life, and the next, your ready to end it. Going out with Jacob was the stupidest decision I've ever made. My life had been going in a downward spiral ever since and nothing I did made it stop...it would just slow down long enough for me to get my hopes up, just to plummet again.

As I climbed into my bed, I saw the indention left in the pillow from Edward's head and rested my hand in the crater. The sheets still smelled of him and I caught myself inhaling desperately trying to breath him in as much as I could before the scent faded. It was all I had left of him and I needed it as much as I needed oxygen.

I opened my eyes and looked toward the clock to see that the glowing numbers were covered by a dark material that hung over it. As I reached to remove it, I saw that it was Edward's shirt and immediately clutched it to my nose.

"Hmmmmm" I hummed in satisfaction as I got high off his heady incense and slowly replace my shirt with his.

The material felt soft on my skin as I moved my hands over it, caressing my body, with images of him hovering over me. As I slowly ran my hands up my sides and over my breasts, I thought of his touch and how it made me feel. At that moment, my hands were no longer my own... they were his. They made their way down to my panties and slipped underneath the satin material as my fingers got lost inside. I shivered and shook as I came undone with thoughts of Edward and how he had affected my body without ever knowing... and now he would never know.

I said goodbye to him that night, falling asleep in his tear-soaked shirt, regretting the moment I fell in love.

XxXxX

The next morning, I woke to the alarm screaming in my ear. Without realizing what I was doing, I reached over and grabbed it off the nightstand and hurled it at the wall. The night was long and sleep wasn't my friend. If it had been it would have invited me to participate.

I got up from bed and sluggishly made my way to the bathroom. My eyes were puffy, almost swollen shut, and my hair was nappy with tangles. If my mom was around she would have called it a rat's nest while she pulled a brush though it singing, "You've gotta suffer to be beautiful."

But, right know, I didn't give a shit about being beautiful. I didn't give a flying fuck about anything or anyone, so I threw my hair up in a ponytail without coming through the haystack and changed into one of my grungiest shirts, pulling on an old pair of jeans before heading downstairs.

As I opened the front door, I gasped at the sight of Edward standing outside with his fist in the air, frozen at mid-knock.

"Bella, we need to talk."

"No we don't." I said quickly, eying his crumpled clothes that were obviously slept in last night, pushing past him to walk toward my truck.

His hand shot out and grabbed my arm, holding me in place.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know Charlie gave you hell and it was all my fault, but he can't _really_ keep me away from you." he said looking as naive as he sounded.

With a jerk, I pulled my arm from his hand and held my breath as I built up the courage to say what I was about to say.

"He doesn't have to Edward, _I _can. So, stay away from me. Please."

_The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now, reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface._  
_ Bella Swan, New Moon._

_

* * *

_

_**I had to add that quote from New Moon. It's one of my favorites.**_

_**I am sooooooooooo sorry for taking an eternity to write one chapter... and a short one at that. You guys have been so patient and I owe you big time. I will make it up to you by promising another LONGER chapter within 7 days. I will try to have it out quicker than that, but I don't feel comfortable promising that. My hubby is going out of town for a week (happy dance) so I will be able to write more since I'm not babysitting him ; ) Thanks again and please, please, please leave a review and let me know what you think. Even if you don't like it. **  
_


	14. Chapter 14

**Teenage Dirtbag**

**Chapter 14**

_Note: Dedicated to NinjaMonkey8... who made the light bulb above my head click on and an idea for a new direction pour from my fingertips to the keyboard. Thanks : )_ _This Edward's for you...._

**EPOV:**

I woke to the sound of squealing brakes as a garbage truck pulled in behind me honking it's horn for me to move. Assessing my surroundings, I realized that I must have fallen asleep in my Malibu last night while wallowing in self pity. I found myself still parked at the end of Bella's road, far enough away that Charlie wouldn't notice.

I sat up and stretched my neck to see if Charlie's cruiser was still parked in the drive and, thanked God that it wasn't. I had decided last night that Charlie could kiss my narrow, white ass if he thought that he was going to keep me away from Bella. Not even death could keep me from her, so _Charlie_ was no threat to me.

I rummaged through the clutter on the floorboard in the back, finally finding what I was looking for. I threw on the holey t-shirt snarling at the memory of it.

Last summer, at _one_ of Jasper's _many_ keg parties, I found myself drunk and in the backseat with a nameless girl, caught in a battle of the tongues. We had gotten as far as removing our shirts when all of a sudden, feeling queasy, I lurched forward and projectile vomited all over said girl's bare stomach. That was the night that I concluded that pot _did not_ mix well with alcohol. _Good times. No wonder I'm still a virgin._

I glanced in the rear view mirror and ran my fingers through my hair repeatedly, trying to comb the wildness out of it, only managing to make it worse. Fiercely, I rubbed my hands over my face, mentally preparing myself before throwing the Malibu in drive and heading to the little white house that sat in the shadow of Forks' constant canopy of clouds.

Looking at the billowy gray clouds fixed in their place in the sky, I couldn't help but be jealous. I wished that Bella and I could be like that...unchanging, unalterable, unbroken, but it wasn't that simple. I knew it would take a lot of work on _both_ our parts for us to survive, considering the circumstances, but also knew it was totally worth it.

Making my way slowly down the bumpy road, I tried to think of what to say. I knew I couldn't just leave things the way they were. I could see in her eyes last night that she had given up. She had closed down and shut me out, literally. I had to talk some sense into her and I knew it wasn't going to be easy. She was a stubborn ass and had already made up her mind. I was going to have to pull out all the stops to convince her that we belonged together... no matter what Charlie said.

Pulling into the driveway, I felt nauseous, thinking of the events of the night before. I could only imagine what Charlie saw when he walked into her bedroom and how furious he was. _If he would only open his mind to the possibility that there was something.. or someone.. out there worse than me, we could have avoided the whole thing._

"Fucking Jacob." I hissed under my breath, shaking my head as I stepped out of my car and walked to the porch.

I climbed the steps and was about to knock, when the door swung open and found myself faced with a tired and weighted version of Bella. Seeing me, she gasped and clutched her book bag in front of her like a shield.

I could tell that she was in no mood, but I quickly lowered my hand and spout out, "Bella, we need to talk."

Eying my clothes with a sad look in her eyes, she mumbled, "No we don't." as she brushed against my arm, walking past me in a rush. I closed my eyes absorbing the electricity that ran across my skin at her contact, only to open them once I realized what she had said.

Without warning my hand shot out and grabbed her by her arm, holding her in her spot, forcing her to acknowledge me.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know Charlie gave you hell and it was all my fault.... but he can't _really_ keep me away from you." I said, flashing her my most dazzling smile while trying to lighten the mood.

_'Maybe if I downplay the situation, she'll listen me.', _I thought, just before she jerked her arm away and stood in her place taking a deep breath and holding it.

"He doesn't have to Edward, _I _can. So, stay away from me, Please." She said, avoiding eye contact.

I stood there, unmoving, stuck with the finality of her words. But Instead of her words, I focused on the hesitation in her voice which only made my smile grow wider. Her attempt at being assertive was almost cute....almost.

She actually thought that if she stayed away from me then everything would be okay, and even though it was sweet and all, the idea was foolish. Staying away from me wasn't going to do anything, but make it worse for both of us.

As she gauged my reaction, or lack thereof, she frustratedly turned and walked to her truck.

I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation as I watched her drive away. Anyone watching would have thought me mad, but it was completely insane that she was actually going to end this... us... before it ever really got started, and all because she refused to tell Charlie the truth. Why was she finding it so hard to tell him what happened? He was her dad for Christ's sake. He would understand. She was making this harder than it had to be.

As I stepped inside my car and turned the ignition while lighting a joint in the process, I thought it as a sign when the engine started immediately. I drew in a deep breath of the bitter smoke and blew it out exaggeratedly, as I huffed, "Let's try this again." with the intention of confronting her afresh at school.

XxXxXxX

The parking lot was full by the time I arrived, circling the vastness of 'The Junkyard' in search of her decrepit tank.

"Where is she?" I asked the smiling Buddha that stood on my dash, waiting for an answer, only to realize how truly high I was when I didn't receive one.

I squinted my eyes, _as if_ they could shut anymore than they already were, scanning them over the plethora of vehicles that lay in the distance.

That's when I saw it parked beside a old dented Fiero in the middle of the lot. She had settled in neutral territory, away from me_ and_ Jacob, I guess to prove to herself that she didn't need either one of us.

I parked my deuce and got out with a cloud of smoke trailing behind me. Looking over at the truck I saw that she was still sitting inside with her forehead resting on the steering wheel. Her misery made me frown as I made my way to her, my original intentions thrown to the wind, while my only thoughts were to hold her and tell her everything would be alright.

Once I stood by her window, I abruptly tapped on the glass, eliciting a yelp from her which caused me to snort out a laugh. _She was so high strung, always sitting on the edge waiting for something to happen._

Nervously, she looked around the lot, then rolled down her window to exclaimed, "What the hell do you want!?"

Hearing her question, my smile faded and my stare intensified, as I realized what had to be done.

"For you to tell Charlie the truth." I spat out, almost angrily.

I _was_ angry. She was killing me with her nonsensical reasoning and I had to know why.

She pushed her door open wincing at the screech it made and tried to push her way past me, but I wasn't letting it happen again.

I held her in place by both of her arms and yelled, "Tell me the truth, Bella. Why is it so hard for you to just tell Charlie what really happened?" I could feel the eyes watching us from all sides.

I stood there and waited... and waited... and waited, until finally she opened her mouth.

"I'm scared." She whispered. "You don't know how it's been for me and my dad since I moved back. We hardly talk, it's awkward and I hate it. When I left him four years ago, he was so angry, and it changed him. It changed me. We're two completely different people now. He doesn't see me as his sweet little girl anymore and I don't know if he'll believe me. I don't think I can handle it if he takes Jacob's side, which is a possibility. He loves Jacob like a son. Him and Billie were here for Charlie when I wasn't. They kinda became his family while I was gone and now I just feel like a guest in his home. I just.... I don't know what to do."

She collapsed on me, crying, hanging on my shirt for stability. All I could do was hold her and kiss her head. I felt so guilty, guilty that I drove all that pain out of her. I didn't expect it and wouldn't have asked if I knew what kind of hurt she was holding inside.

I moved my mouth to her ear and whispered, apologetically, "I didn't know it was like that, Bella. I'm sorry."

Sniffling, she looked up at me and nodded her head. "No, you're right."

She stood tall and let go of my shirt and wiped at her eyes.

"This is asinine. I am practically an adult now. I'm not his _child_ anymore." Nodding at the pavement as if it was telling her what to do, she raised her head and said, "I'm going to tell him tonight...everything. I'm just sorry I let it go on for so long. Please forgive me, I've been ...unfair."

I reached down and touch my lips to hers, mumbling, "God, I love you. Don't ever let anything like this keep us apart again."

"I won't." she answered, grabbing onto my hair. "Ever." She added before deepening the kiss and making me stumble back against the dented Fiero behind me.

_There goes another piece of my heart. _

XxXxXxX_  
_

**BPOV:**

God, it was so hard to walk away from him. His lips had a way of filling me up with this insurmountable amount of strength that made me feel as though I could do anything.

It made me wish that there was a way I could tell Charlie while kissing Edward, but quickly shook that idea from my mind, remembering my total like of coherency when his mouth was on me. I bit my lip thinking about it and smiled as I felt the familiar heat between my legs. _'Soon enough'_, I thought to myself, moving faster down the hall to cause more friction where I needed it.

As I walked into the restroom I caught Alice and Rosalie touching up their makeup, which made me take a step back. I hated walking in on them with there weapons of mass beautification strewn around them. They always tried to force it on me, like it was a drug that everyone else was doing.

As I quietly turned to walk back out, Alice caught me by the back of my shirt.

"Oh no you don't." She said pulling me in front of the mirror.

"Alice, please. I..."

"I don't want to hear it. Now, shut up and let the the fashion-ista work her magic."

My head involuntary moved backward, as the mascara wand came dangerously close to my eye.

With a huff, Alice palmed the top of my head and yelled, "Just... close your fucking eyes."

It made it a little better not being able to see what and how much she was applying.

Running the wand through my lashes, she asked, "So....how did it go last night?"

I laughed, thinking of the absurdity of what happened.

"Well, other than the fact that Charlie caught Edward in my bed half naked and threw him out in the rain, I'd say it went pretty good."

Alice gasped with her hand over her mouth. "Oh my God, Bella!" she exclaimed, before noticing me laughing, and added with a confused voice, "At least you're taking it well."

Rosalie had stopped what she was doing and was staring at me wide-eyed.

"What did Charlie do?" She asked, looking horrified.

I told them all the horrid details, the whole while shaking my head with a smile, until Rose stopped me and rolled her eyes, saying "Okay, am I missing something? What part of this is funny?"

"Don't you get it?" I asked waiting for them to answer. When they didn't, I continued.

"All of this happened because I'm a dumbass. All of this could have been avoided if I had just told Charlie the truth...and that's exactly what I'm gonna do, tonight."

" 'Bout time!" Alice chimed in.

I looked at her, narrowing my eyes. "Ya know, every time you say that, you're really saying 'I told ya so'."

Alice just gave me a big smile and said, "I told ya so."

Rose interrupted our moment asking, "So, what made you finally decide to tell Charlie? I thought you said he wouldn't believe you."

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the blush that was still staining my cheeks from Edward's kiss and simply stated, "Edward."

Looking over at Rose and Alice, I admitted, "I didn't know what I had until I was about to lose it and he helped me realize that the alternative to living a lie was to tell the truth and live my life."

XxXxXxX

**EPOV:**

I floated to Biology after my talk with Bella. She and I were finally on the same page about Charlie and Jacob and I couldn't have been happier.

I walked down the empty hallway, whistling, with my hands in my pockets and my shoulders pulled back with pride. _Nothing could knock me down from this high_, I thought, when I glanced up and toward the end of the hall where I saw Jacob standing with a menacing look on his face. I never knew how truly crazy he was until that day, when I saw the raw violence he projected with that stare. I was honestly terrified in that moment and wasn't ashamed to admit it.

I stopped my feet from going any further and stood still as I waited and watched. Slowly, Jacob raised his hand, making a gun with his thumb and index finger. I swallowed deeply as he raised his weapon and holding it in front of his squinted eye, he aimed it at my head and flexed his thumb while making a 'boom' sound with his mouth. Just as I heard the ominous sound of gunfire, a flood of student walked in between us obstructing my view.

When they cleared, he was gone.

Once I was able to move, I let out a long breath and stumbled back against the lockers.

I knew better than to take this as a threat, it was a warning and his message was loud and clear. There was one thing you could say about Jacob... he didn't make empty threats. If he said he was going to do something, he did it. Just look at Bella. She was paying her debt as we speak.

Keeping my trembling hands in my pockets, I pulled myself together as best I could and walked to class.

Alice was sitting at out table, looking directly at me when I stepped inside the classroom. Trying to hold the pending panic attack at bay, I looked at the floor and stopped once I saw the familiar KS -N- RP 4-EVER carved into the seat of my wooden chair. I glanced over at Alice who was looking straight ahead acting as if she was paying attention to Mr. Banner's mindless ramblings.

I propped my elbows on the table and laid my head in my hands. I had completely forgot about Alice and was taking deep breaths trying to control my breathing and calm my jittery legs, when she started her interrogation.

"What the hell were you think, dumbass!? You fell asleep! I mean, really, how stupid can you be?" She whispered, still focusing her attention on the chalkboard ahead.

I ignored her and continued to focus on my breathing and heart rate, willing the attack to subside.

Alice didn't miss a beat. She continued her banter, her words sounding muffled in my ears as I slipped into the darkness of its spell. I was trembling and sweating profusely, when I heard her voice halt and her hand on my back.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"Get me outta here." I whispered, desperately.

Without hesitation she shot from her seat and held her hand up high. Not waiting for Mr. Banner's acknowledgement of her, she abruptly exclaimed, "Mr. Banner, I'm taking Eddie here to the nurse. He just totally barfed in my purse." Then without warning she yanked me out of my seat and pulled me out the door.

Once we were in the hall, she leaned me against the lockers. "What's going on, Edward. Talk to me."

"Not here. Get me outside."

Her arms wound around my waist, helping me out the doors and toward the practice field, sitting me at the white bench that I had grown to love the last few days.

I leaned over with my head between my knees and took several deep breaths before I was able to sit up straight and say anything that made sense.

Once I had calmed my breathing and my color had returned to my face, Alice took her chance. "Okay, spill it."

"It's just a panic attack. Sorry for scaring you."

"Just a panic attack!? You looked like you were having a fucking seizure or something. You had me trying to remember my resuscitation class from, like, three years ago. Do you have any idea how scared I was?"

"Sorry, they can get really bad, depending on what sets them off." I stated, hoping she wouldn't ask about this one... but she did.

She closed her eyes tight and huffed out in irritation, "So, what did Jacob _do_?"

I shook my head and tried to downplay it. "It was nothing, really."

"You lie as well as Bella, which isn't saying a whole hell of a lot."

I quickly stood from my seat. "Do you know where Emmett is right now?"

She looked at me questioningly. "Maybe? I tell ya what, you tell me what Jacob did, and I'll tell you where to find Emmett."

"Alice..."

"Edward..."

I took a deep breath, then proceeded to tell her the whole story, not leaving out the fact that I nearly pissed my pants.

"Edward, this isn't something for you to play around with. He keeps a fucking gun in his car and he takes pride in that fact. He doesn't mind reminding people when they piss him off and I don't think he would hesitate to use it."

I nodded before reiterating, "That's why I need to talk to Emmett."

Quickly, she pointed to the vocational school. "He's in shop class."

Before she could say another word, I was gone, running to the large brown building.

The building looked industrial with a flat roof that held tall smoke stacks atop it issuing steady streams of exhaust. Three broad garage doors were situated on the left side of the building to accommodate the junk vehicles that were used as cadavers for the mechanics class.

As I peered inside, I saw Emmett's large frame half hidden under the hood of an old beat up Camaro. I could feel the eyes on me as I approached him. I hadn't thought about what this might look like to everyone there. Edward 'pothead' Cullen coming to talk to Emmett 'football jock" McCarty. I wished that I could read the thoughts of everyone there as I leaned over, clearing my throat, and asked, "Do you have a sec?"

He stood from his place under the umbrella of the hood and smiled as he threw his arm across my shoulders, "Sure bro, I've always got time for you."

As we walked away, he must have heard the whispering too, because he stopped where he was to yell, "What the fuck are y'all looking at, get back to work." Like he owned the place and bellowed a hearty laugh as we exited the building.

We stopped just outside the building and holding a lit cigarette in his mouth, he mumbled, "So, what's up?"

"I think Jacob is planning his revenge."

"When is he _not_ planning some kind of revenge on some pour soul?" he announced lightheartedly, puffing on his cigarette. "What exactly are you talking about?"

I proceeded to tell him what happened only moments before and said, "Alice seems to think I should take it seriously."

Throwing his arm around my shoulder again and ruffing up my hair with his other hand, he laughed out, "Oh Hell, he's just trying to scare ya. He would be a fucking idiot if he tried that shit, man. Between Bella's dad being a cop and the fact that I would kick his fucking ass, I don't think you have anything to worry about."

Well, it was good to know that Emmett didn't take it seriously. He knew Jacob better than I did, so I blew it off and didn't think about it again for the rest of the day.

XxXxXxX

At lunch I found Bella standing in the line, biting her lip in indecision, staring at the produce spread out before her. As she began strategically placing different fruits and vegetables on her plate, I crept up behind her wrapping my arms around her waist and whispering in her ear.

"Edible art?" I asked, amused by her effort to keep her plate orderly.

Gasping at my suddenness, she giggled, "Where the hell did you come from?" Then shivered in my embrace. I could only hope that I had caused the convulsion considering she had the same affect on me.

"I was watching you from afar." I said, looking into her questioning eyes. "Let's just say that old habits die hard."

She gave me a warm smile before turning and walking toward a table that was occupied by Alice and Jasper.

I grabbed an apple and followed her, sitting down in the chair across from her so that I could watch her eat. She nibbled like a rabbit and I had watched her in awe for months wondering why it was so damn cute.

Before I could truly enjoy the moment, Alice ruined it by blurting out, "Did you talk to Emmett?"

I narrowed my eyes at her and ignored her, returning my attention to Bella.

"About what?" Bella asked curiously, completely oblivious to the tension between Alice and I.

"Nothing important." I stated quickly, before Alice had a chance to answer her.

Alice's eyes darted to Bella, then back to me.

"She has a right to know, Edward."

I closed my eyes in irritation just before Bella, looked up from her plate and asked, "A right to know what? Edward?"

"It was nothing, Bella, he was just trying to scare me. No biggie."

"No Biggie? He threatened you with a gun."

Quickly I shot back, "He threatened me with his finger, Alice. What can he do with that? Pick my nose 'til it bleeds?" Then laughed at its hilariousness.

"Edward! Is this true?" Bella whispered loudly, looking around the cafeteria nervously.

I shot my eyes to Alice, angry that she had opened her fucking mouth.

Just as I was about to answer her, Emmett broke the silence, pulling a chair out for Rose and plopping in the seat next to me.

"So, what's for lunch?" he asked looking at everyone's plate, finally landing on Alice's, stealing a piece of pizza.

Rose slapped it out of his hand and looked at Alice apologetically.

"Emmett, Rose. I'm glad you guys could join us. We were just discussing the probability that Jacob may or may not kill Edward in the near future. What are your thoughts on the subject?" Alice asked with sarcasm glaring directly at me.

As Emmett laughed at her, Rose's jaw dropped at Alice's bluntness.

"My God, Alice, you're such a drama queen. Jacob ain't gonna do jack shit. He's just a sore loser, trying to get Edward riled up. He's not that fucking stupid." Emmett said, exasperatedly.

Alice shook her head, "I hope you're right, for Edward's sake."

Emmett quickly changed the subject to Rose and the baby, effectively taking the spot light off of me. I still caught Bella glancing over at me periodically and scanning the cafeteria as if waiting for something to happen. I wasn't really worried about it anymore. The more I thought about it the more ridiculous the idea was.

After lunch, the day went by slowly and ten minutes before the last bell I found myself waiting outside of Bella's class, anxious to see her again. The time away from her seemed to drag by and the time with her seemed to accelerate. I wished it was the other way around.

When the last bell rang, I watched through the small rectangle of glass in the door, as Bella shot out of her seat being one of the first to walk out.

She ran into me throwing her arms around my neck, kissing me ferociously.

"What's that for?" I asked, pleased by her greeting.

Looking in my eyes, she answered, "I'm just really glad to see you. That's all."

I knew what she was really thinking. She was worried about Jacob's threat.

We walked out of school and I followed her to her truck, holding her close to me the whole way. She tripped a couple of times almost taking me down with her.

"I don't know what's more of a threat, Jacob or your feet." I laughed, catching her for the third time, keeping her from hitting the pavement.

She just shot her eyes to me and opened the door to her truck.

She stood still, chewing on her lip nervously. "So, wish me luck."

She was talking about the conversation she was going to have with Charlie and I could hear the unease in her voice.

I lifted my hand to cup her face, trying to relax her, and rubbed her cheek with my thumb consolingly.

"Before I go, can I ask just one thing?"

I looked in her eyes and nodded, "Anything."

"Kiss me."

I moved my hand to the back of her hair and looking directly in her eyes, I brought my lips down to hers. I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, grazing my teeth over it lightly. It never failed to amaze me how my body reacted to the slightest touch from her. She tucked her hands under the sides of my shirt and ran their warmth up to my chest. A long breath escaped my mouth as her tongue found its way inside, gliding along mine. She tasted phenomenal, like sweet honey. I quickly grabbed her hips and wrapped her legs around my waist as I pressed her against the side of her truck. I don't remember ever receiving a kiss this intense and it physically hurt. I found myself pressing my dick against her, trying to rub out the ache that had settled there.

I pulled away, needing air, and mumbled into her neck, "I think we need to stop before I take you, right here, in front of all these people.

She hesitantly pulled herself from me and stood on her own two feet, stumbling back on wobbly legs. Her throat cleared as she smiled and slid into the truck.

"Call me as soon as you talk to Charlie, okay."

She only nodded before taking a deep breath and starting the engine. As she shifted it into drive, she mouthed, "I love you." and drove off toward her conquest.

_'Damn it, Bella! You'll be the death of me, I swear you will.'_ I screamed in my head, watching her drive away adjusting myself as I walked back to my car.

* * *

**I promised and I delivered... in record time, might I add. Hope you like and please don't forget to leave a review. As you saw by the note at the top, I'm opened to suggestions if you have any. Even though I have an idea of what path they're taking, I can change their route at any time. Thanks again for your loyalty : )**

**By the way, who knows what KS-N-RP 4-Ever stands for? Hmmmm?  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks for the reviews. I don't get many, but LOVE to read the ones I receive. Keep 'em coming!!!**

**Teenage Dirtbag**

**Chapter 15**

**BPOV:**

I was in a daze for most of the ride home, thinking about what I was going to say to Charlie. On one hand I was terrified at what I was about to do, but on the other hand, I was relieved by the fact that I wasn't going to have to hide behind the lie anymore. Regardless of how it ended, the truth was going to be out in the open and I would finally be able to live my life the way I wanted...with Edward.

But still there was a part of me, and I didn't know how big that part was, that was scared to death of my feelings for Edward. Everything was happening so fast. It was all so green and new and I wanted so much to believe that what we were feeling was real. But, how could I know for sure. I couldn't. All I could do was live for the moment and enjoy my time with him. It was better than the alternative, which was living without him.

I shook the last thought out of my head as I pulled into the empty driveway, my old truck squealing to a stop.

The rain was coming down in sheets and as I looked for something to throw over my head, I spotted a stack of newspapers shoved behind my seat. Most were old, crumpled and rain-worn from sitting in the driveway for days on end, waiting to be picked up, only to be ran over by Charlie's cruiser. The Forks' Times was a small, four page communication full of advertisements and shallow news, never breaking through the surface of light journalism. But in its defense, not much happened here, besides the occasional animal attack or illegal green house bust...pot being the prominent crop. The town took comfort in knowing that no news was good news and the local paper happily delivered the comfort it craved.

I looked out the window, appraising the distance to the porch so that I could safely guesstimate the speed at which I would have to run to avoid getting completely drenched. With my ninja-like stealth..._ Yeah right_... I held the newspaper over my head and took my chance, darting out of the truck as if it was on fire.

As expected, the drops felt like ice pelting my face, as I reached the porch... completely drenched. _So much for my guesstimation. _

Freezing from the icy wind and rain, I ran through the front door, not realizing that it was_ unlocked_. Once inside, I dropped my bag by the door and my keys on the hall table. That's when I felt the first pangs of fear. The house key was sticking out from the rest, like a beacon, a warning of sorts. Noticing the unused key, my eyes shot to the door, an image flashing through my head of me turning the lock this morning just before I ran into Edward. _How could it be unlocked now?_

Trying to push my panic aside, I yelled with a questioning tone, "Charlie?"

No answer.

"Daaaad?"

I racked my brain, trying to think of a rational explanation as to why the door would be unlocked. I quickly dismissed the idea of Charlie being home since his cruiser wasn't in the drive. _'Maybe he came home earlier and had to leave in a hurry._' I thought, as I picked up the phone to call him. _It wouldn't be the first time._

I held the receiver to my ear, listening to the reverberating rings while I continued to think of other possibilities. _Maybe I just thought I locked it this morning, maybe I was so upset about seeing Edward that I simply forgot._ It was definitely out of character, but it _was_ a thought, and one that wasn't as terrifying as the other theories that ran rampant through my mind.

Just as I was about to hang up I heard Charlie's voice, deep and edgy, still angry about last night.

"Yeah."

"Dad? It's Bella."

"Yeah?" he questioned, acting childish and insolent.

I ignored his tone and asked, "Did you come home earlier?", closing my eyes, hoping that he would say yes. _'Say yes, say yes, say yes.' _I chanted in my head, praying that my first thought was correct.

"No. Why?"

"Ummm, nothing, never mind." I said, looking around the kitchen, and peering my head into the living room. _Did I just hear something?_

"Bella, what's going on? Why do you ask?" He urged, losing the edge in his voice.

"Nothing. Well... not nothing, but... I don't know, the door was unlocked this afternoon when I got home and I was hoping that it was you, but I guess it was me. I must've walked out in a rush and forgot to turn the lock. Sorry to bother you." I answered, regretting the phone call.

His concern didn't go unnoticed when he asked, "Do you want me to send someone to check out the house?

Sure, now he was going to show some concern. Now he was going to ask what_ I _wanted. Why couldn't he have asked that last night before acting like a maniac. Something about his sincerity hit me the wrong way and I felt an immediate rush of anger towards him as I gave him a short, sharp, "No."

Hearing the change in my tone, Charlie sighed, "Bella, about last night...."

I couldn't listen to it, didn't want to hear his apology, not until I had said all that I wanted to say. Then, and only then, could he apologize and expect a _somewhat_ civil response.

Suddenly my fear evaporated, heated by my anger at the events of the night before, as I candidly stated, "Before you say anything else, we need to talk... about Jacob. You're not going to like what I have to say, but regardless, you need to hear it. I'll see you at dinner." and with that, I hung up the phone and stared at it wondering where the hell I had gotten all this confidence from. Yesterday, I wouldn't have done that, but now...I guess I finally recognized what all I had to lose.

Proudly, I marched upstairs with my book bag on my shoulders, enjoying this new confidence to its fullest. It had been a long time since I felt this sure of myself and I wore it well.

As I topped the staircase, I turned to the left and entered my room. On the far wall hung an oval mirror that had been there since I was five and mom & dad were still happily married. It was my grandmothers and I could still remember looking in it with her at my side, pointing out our similarities. We had the same eyes, though hers were slightly darker, dulled by age and I couldn't help but wonder, at the time, what all they had seen in their many years. I loved that mirror.

I threw my bag on the bed and looked up. What I saw in the oval reflection caused me to stumble backwards and gasp for air. There stood Jacob, blocking the doorway and my only possible way of escape.

"Hello, Bella." He said, trying to sound calm, with the waver in his voice revealing his unbalance.

"W..What are you doing here, Jacob?"

He lifted his finger to his mouth and let out a long, low "Ssshhhh", before closing the door behind him and locking it.

The 'click' of the lock made my stomach turn, more so than the dark look in his eyes. _How the hell was I going to get out of this?_

When he turned back around, his eyes had become even darker than they were before, with a red edge around them. He looked tired and out of control, hands shaking at his sides.

"Am I not good enough for you?" He asked with an odd amusement.

"What are you talking about Jacob?" I knew I had to keep him talking. I couldn't let him think he had the upper hand or give him time to make a move.

"What am I _talking_ about!? Bella, you know you're mine, but you keep fighting me. Why do you do that?" He asked, walking closer to me.

"Jacob, stay where you are. Don't come any closer. I've got a gun right under my bed and I can reach _it_ faster than you can reach me. So stay back."

I hated risking the lie, but what else could I do? I had no other options, I was grabbing at straws, hoping that it would scare him off.

His eyes narrowed at me as he tilted his head to the side, obviously questioning my lie.

"I don't believe you." he stated simply.

He slowly moved one foot forward, causing me to stumble back a step. This was my undoing. His smile grew as he looked up at me through his long lashes and with one swift move he had me on the bed with his hand grasped around my neck. He quickly leaned down and peered under the bed, laughing as he raised up.

He pulled me close to his face by my throat and shook his head slowly. "You never were a good liar." Then threw me back against the bed.

"Charlie will be home any minute. Didn't you hear me on the phone with him? He said he was on his way to check out the house. You better leave." I panicked, not moving from the bed. _Lie number two... maybe he'll believe this one. _

He said nothing, but casually laid down beside me, propping his head on his hand. He must have seen through it, because he slowly reached out his hand and began rubbing small circles on my stomach.

I didn't move.

"Now, you and I both know that Charlie loves me, probably more than he loves you, and wants to see us together. Don't you want to make daddy happy?" He said moving to my breasts rubbing them roughly with the palm of his hand, humming his enjoyment.

A tear escaped my eye and as it ran down my cheek, Jacob leaned over to lick it away, humming as he his tongue met my skin.

A whimper fell from my mouth which only urged him forward.

"Give yourself to me." he whispered in my ear. "I'll get what I want in the end, Bella."

His hand slid to my waist and pulled me to him, his mouth descended to my neck as he chuckled, "As if you could outrun _me_. As if you could fight _me_ off."

_'Oh God, please somebody, help me._', I prayed as he moved between my legs, hovering his weight above me. It was funny, in all the months that we had been going out, he had never been this gentle with me. _But he had never been this comfortable in his insanity, either._

A strangled sob left my throat when he pressed his straining weapon against me. It was hard, pressing into my core, painfully announcing itself. _There he was, the eager Jacob I knew so well._

Just as I thought all hope was gone, I heard Charlie's voice downstairs.

"Bella? Where are you?"

Jacob's hand immediately went to my mouth, covering it, as he warned, "Don't say a fucking word, or you're dead.", before standing to his feet and composing himself.

I sat up, tears streaming down my face, watching the door, wanting to scream for Charlie...but knew better.

Then I heard the sound of footsteps ascending the stairs, then a jiggle of my doorknob.

"Bella, are you in there?"

I looked over at Jacob, who held his finger to his mouth, threatening with his set jaw and hard face.

I lowered my head and closed my eyes tight. _'You have no choice_.', I tried to convince myself, as I took a deep breath and yelled, "Daddy!"

The next thing I knew, the door was forced open and Charlie was in the room taking in the sight of my terrified state and Jacob's nervous stance.

"Charlie, I..." Jacob started, but was hushed by Charlie's hand pressing him against the wall, as he asked me, "Bella, what's going on. Are you alright?" Never taking his eyes off of him.

All I could do is shake my head and look down at the floor, not being able to look at them. I could only imagine Jacob's twisted face at seeing my betrayal.

Charlie grabbed him by his shirt and forced him out of my room, reminding me of the scene last night... though this one was justified.

I could hear Jacob's venomous voice as he was ushered down the stairs and out the door. "Charlie, come on! It wasn't me, it was your fucking whore of a daughter."

That was the first time I heard Charlie respond to him, yelling, "Get the fuck out of my house and don't you ever come back... And don't worry, Billie will know exactly what went on over here. Do you understand me?" Then the door slammed closed.

I sat still, in my place on the bed, not being able to trust the stability of my legs. I was shaking and trying to catch my breath when Charlie reentered my room.

His face was red, and looked as though he had been crying. _I wondered what had took him so long to come back upstairs_. He made his way to me, sitting on the edge of the bed, grabbing my arms and turning my body gently to face him.

"You tried to tell me, didn't you?" He searched my eyes for an answer, letting go of me when I opened my mouth to speak.

"You didn't want to hear it." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"No, Bella, I was an idiot. I didn't want to think that he could do anything to hurt you, but regardless, he did. Didn't he?"

Looking me over, he asked, "Has he.... Did he...?"

"No.. he didn't." I couldn't say the word.... 'rape'. I had been too close to it's ugliness and didn't want to hear it hanging in the air.

Charlie wrapped his arms around me and sighed into my hair, "My baby girl, I am so sorry for being so blind that I didn't see what was going on right in front of my face."

That's when I lost it and everything, every detail, came flooding out of my mouth, like a dam, breaking under the pressure. I told him about the meadow, the lie, Edward...everything, holding nothing back. It felt as though a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders the moment I purged myself of all that had been hiding inside me and I was finally able to look Charlie in the eyes. It had been a long time since I was able to do that with a clear conscience, and I was surprised to find how much I had missed it.

"I'm sorry, daddy. I should have made you listen, but I get my stubbornness honest." I said and smiled slightly at my realization. Charlie and I was more alike than I thought.

He held my hands in his and looked down at them hiding his eyes from me, as if ashamed. "I knew you weren't happy with him. I could tell a week into it, that he didn't _make _you happy... but I was selfish. I thought that if you were with Jacob then you would have a reason to stay and you wouldn't leave me again. I let it go on, even though I knew you were miserable, just like I did with Renee. She wasn't happy here with me either, but I didn't want to lose her. You remind me so much of your mother, ya know, always willing to please but never pleased with yourself. I don't want you to follow in her footsteps. I want you to do what makes you happy, whatever that is."

It was nice seeing this side of Charlie and not just the law enforcing hard ass.

I nodded at his words and after a few minutes of silence, Charlie stood up with his hands in his pocket, obviously uncomfortable. _I guess there's just so much emotion that a man can take, huh_.

He made his way to the door to leave, but before walking out, he turned and said, "I'm gonna make this right, Bella. Jacob's gonna have to pay for what he's done." and before I could ask, he was gone.

And just like that, it was over. I don't know what I expected to happen when I told Charlie about everything, but I definitely did not expect that. He had just as many regrets as I had and made just as many mistakes too. I believe things happen for a reason, that there are no accidents. If I had never gone out with Jacob, then I would have never had this talk with Charlie and we would still be living our lives avoiding the big ugly wall that stood between us. Now we had a chance to mend, fix our broken relationship that had been severed so many years ago and I could be myself again, for the first time in a long time.

XxXxXxX

I waited, watching the clock, listening for the sound of Charlie's snoring. The time was dragging by excruciatingly slow and I wanted so badly to talk to Edward and let him know that everything was okay.

Charlie had peeked in, a little earlier, telling me 'good night' and that a buddy on the force was going to be parked out front surveilling the house, "Just in case" he had said. The idea was unsettling, that Charlie thought it was necessary to put a policeman on watch. But, considering the circumstances, I was glad he did it.

I was changing into my pajamas when I heard 3 soft taps on my window. I gasped and crossed my arms over my bare chest and turned to see Edward hanging from the tree outside. My cheeks grew hot and, I was positive, 3 shades of red as I realized I was naked from the waist up. Quickly, I threw on my tank and ran to the window, pulling Edward in and throwing my arms around him.

It seemed like an eternity had past since I had been in his arms and I pressed my body against his, craving the warmth it had been deprived from for so long.

He pushed me away from him by my arms, and frantically snapped out, "What's going on? I've been calling your cell for the last 2 hours. There's a policeman sitting out front, is everything okay?", almost hyperventilating.

"Calm down... Yeah, everything's okay...now." I said then lowered my head, attempting to hide the truth he would see in my eyes.

His hand touch my cheek as he brought his face to mine, forcing my eyes to connect with his.

"Bella, don't close yourself off from me. I'm here for you. Please, tell me what happened."

I swallowed deeply and focused on his words. "Jacob was here."

"When?" He asked.

"When I got home from school. He broke in the house and was waiting for me.... God, Edward I have never been so scared in my life."

He grabbed me in his arms and rocked me, saying, "I'm so sorry, baby. I Should have been here for you. I should have made sure you were safe. I could tell that Jacob wasn't right today, but I fucking blew it off. Damn it! I'm sorry." He rocked me patiently before pulling back and asking slowly and hesitantly, "What... did he do?"

The look in his eyes were pure torture, as he waited, scared of what I was going to say.

That look broke my heart. I couldn't tell him what almost happened. There was no need to upset him more than he already was. It was over. Charlie was going to make sure he didn't come back so I left out a few minor details and answered, "Nothing. Charlie got here before anything could happen... hence the broken lock." I added pointing at the splintered wood where the lock _use_ to be and letting a small smile play across my face, lightening the mood.

It looked as though a million thoughts were running through his mind, before he finally asked, "Where is he now?"

I shrugged, "Don't know. But, I think Charlie's going to find him. He was so angry, Edward. I almost feel sorry for him."

Edward quickly spout out, "I Don't. I hope he kills him. I hope he rips his god damn heart out."

"Edward!... It's over. We don't have to worry about him anymore. I told dad everything. Everything, Edward. So, let's just forget about Jacob and focus on us for a change." I said adamantly.

_I was tired of always letting other people get in between us, and now I didn't have to. Now there were no barriers to hinder us from moving forward in our relationship. Sure, it would take Charlie some time to warm up to the idea, but it would happen. If he truly wanted me to be happy then he wouldn't deny me the one thing that I wanted. Edward made me more than happy. He made me whole._

I stared at him, waiting for him to look up and, once he did, a small smile spread across his face as my words sunk in.

His hand found its way through my hair and to the back of my neck as his voice lowered, and his tongue slid across his bottom lip. "I just want to focus on you."

His kiss was soft against my eager mouth, barely touching the surface, as he teased me with his restraint. But_ restraint_ wasn't what I wanted. I wanted total inhibition but didn't know how to tell him. _Was it okay for a girl to be so forward?_ I didn't care. I knew what I wanted and was determined to have my way.

I moved my body closer to his, forcing his back against the bed. My tongue skimmed his upper lip before biting it, begging for entrance. The moan that fell from his mouth as my tongue slid in, made me shiver. All I could do was press my body even closer to his to try and still the involuntary tremors that were erupting through me.

The next thing I knew, he had me pinned on my back, holding my hands over my head as he attacked my mouth ferally.

All the apprehension I had been feeling about our hasty love for one another and progressing relationship, dissipated at that moment. And I was consumed by an overwhelming feeling of absolute certainty that we were meant to be to together. That this was our destiny. No matter what obstacles stood in our way, our love for each other would make them look as threatening as ant hills. Nothing could sway us from one another, not even ourselves.

Just as his hand began to creep under my shirt, he broke away from me, leaving me cold and alone.

He sat up on the bed and ran his long fingers through his wild coppery strands and sighed, "I… think I better go." before standing from the bed.

I panicked.

_What!? He can't go!_

Desperately, I delved deep inside my brain, searching for an excuse to make him stay only to come up empty handed. My mind was blank, crippled by the thought of him leaving.

My anxiety grew as I watched his head lower and shoulders twist slightly toward the direction of the window, warning of his imminent departure.

There was no way in hell that I was going to let him go knowing what I knew now… that the hunger I was plagued with had to be satisfied, and he was the only one who could satiate it completely.

_Don't let him go!… _I silently screamed at myself, frantically grabbing the front of his shirt, fisting the pliable material between my fingers.

My forwardness took me by surprise. I looked down at my hands, unbelieving of what I had just done and looked up into his eyes, searching for the strength I needed to keep him there. That's when I saw it, deep inside his oceans of green…the light in their darkness, imploring me to ask him to stay. _His wish, my command_.

I pulled his body dangerously close to mine as I boldly confessed, "I don't want you to leave."

His eyes grew heavy hearing the certainty in my words. His tongue ran across his bottom lip followed by his teeth, biting painfully into the plump flesh.

He _was_ sex, raw and needy, making the cotton between my legs impossibly wet. A shaky breath escaped from my lips, not because of nerves, but because of the anticipation of what was about to happen, and it was all moving in slow motion…too slow.

Holding nothing back, I pressed my lips to his, chipping away at the chasteness of the moment until nothing was left, plunging my tongue deep inside his mouth tasting his sweet nectar. He was intoxicating, making me lightheaded…or was that my lack of oxygen. I didn't care. Suffocation by Edward seemed like a good death.

With his hand gripping my hip and his mouth moving down to my neck, he panted, "God Bella, You have no idea what you do to me."

No, I didn't. But if it was anything like what he did to me, I needed to apologize for causing such torture.

I opened my mouth and shocked myself when I heard, "Tell me." come flying out in a voice that was foreign to me, thick with seduction. _Who am I?  
_

The look in his eyes, told me everything I needed to know. Placing his hand on my cheek, he confessed everything that I saw in them.... and more.

"Bella, I think about you all the time. I count the seconds until I'm with you again only to be tortured by your presence." He stopped to chuckle at its absurdity before explaining, "I find it _very_ difficult to control myself when I'm with you and it's physically painful to be without you." He shook his head and closed his eyes as if struggling to finish, but did. "Even though you don't know it, you're in my bed every night when I lay down. You consume my dreams and are the only reason I get up in the morning."

His head raised slightly and his eyes focused on mine. "I love you with every ounce of my being and would be content to live a long and happy life... with you."

Smiling up at me he added, "And that, my dear Bella, is what you do to me. You are my life, now." appraising my reaction, apprehensively.

There were no words for what I was feeling at that moment. I didn't think it was possible for me to love him anymore than I already did, but he proved me wrong. I couldn't think, or speak. I caught myself breathing heavy, focusing only on his mouth and the words that had fallen from them.

Though I couldn't trust my mouth to work properly under the conditions, I was certain that my body could. Without a word, I moved to straddle his lap and leaned down taking his top lip between mine. The kiss was chaste, just a warning of what was to come, and I broke away as soon as it started. He eyed be questioningly, as I pulled my tank top over my head.

The growl he released was guttural, vibrating in his chest, his eyes glued to my peaks.

I watched his adams apple bob as he swallowed deeply and closed his eyes. His actions baffled me. _Was this not what he wanted?_

"Oh God, I'm an idiot." I cried, covering myself with my hands.

I felt his hands grab mine and pull them away, exposing me once more. When he looked up, a cold chill ran down my spine. His eyes had turned dark and heavy, revealing a different, lust driven side of him that I had never seen before. My breathing, once heavy and labored, ceased altogether anticipating what this new Edward would do.

"Perfect", he whispered, running his shaky hands up my sides to cup my breasts. "So fucking perfect."

The sound of his voice, made my nipples react and I rubbed against his hardness, to soothe the aching between my legs.

Suddenly, his hands were on the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head, then back on me so that flesh was on flesh.

His body was on fire, and the heat of his skin singed mine making me sigh in pleasure. A flame had been ignited and it was slowly consuming every inch of my body. Just as I thought I was going to burn in the inferno, Edward lowered his head taking my breast in his mouth. The cool air attached itself to my nipple as he pulled away to focus on the other side._ If he was trying to put out the fire, he was fighting a losing battle. Once lit, it would smolder forever._

The feeling of his mouth on me, caused a shiver to run down my body and nervous goosebumps to spread rapidly. As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop the convulsions.

Edward felt me shaking and heard my staggered breaths. "You're cold." Edward whispered, holding me in his arms.

I shook my head, "No", my voice cracking and my teeth almost chattering from the nerves.

He lifted mine chin with his finger and looked at me with concern. "I'm nervous too. We don't have to do this, ya know. I'd be happy to just sit here and hold you."

I didn't want that. I knew it wouldn't be enough for me. Now that I had taken a dip, I wanted nothing more than to dive deep into the cool waters of my desire.

"I want to, Edward. I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life... I'm ready."

He laid me back as his hand drifted down my stomach. I felt his breath hit my ear before I heard, "Just breath.", barely a whisper, in my ear.

I heard the top button of my jean pop open and then a zipping sound before feeling his fingertips moving under the waist band of my panties. I exhaled and lifted my hips against his hand as his finger slid inside my wetness.

"Yes." I whimpered, the intensity making my head fall back and my body arch toward him.

"Bella, I want you so fucking much." He ground out and slowly slid his long finger inside me, hissing as it dove impossibly deep.

"Oh God, Edward. I need you." I sighed, thrusting my hips closer to his hand. A second finger dipped in, adding to the sensation.

"I need more." I pleaded, attacking his mouth with frustrated kisses. His fingers felt so good, I could only imagine how good his dick would feel in there place.

That's all it took. He sat up and pulled his jeans off, then removed mine, before settling back on the bed at my side. He leaned in and began kissing my neck, our hands moving desperately over one another, needy with desire. Until I couldn't take anymore. With my heart racing and my breathing heavy, I broke away from him and laid back, inviting him, running my hand down his stomach and wrapping around his hardness.

His hand moved down to mine, coaxing me along, moving it up and down.

"Bella." he breathed, as he nervously moved between my legs, hovering over me with his hair hanging in his eyes.

His breathing was stuttered and, though his hair was hiding the struggle on his face, I could see ever tremor that ran through his body. It was taking all that he had to compose himself and I loved the fact that I was doing that to him.

This was it, no turning back, and as if he was thinking that exact same thing, he asked, with a trembling voice, "Are you sure?"

All I could do was nod and hope that he accepted that answer. I didn't trust my voice, unsure if it would portray my confidence... or betray it.

He lowered himself, flush with me, and ran his hand down the side I my face. "I love you." he said, kissing me again, running his arm under my back.

As soon as I felt him at my entrance, I heard him take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." he said, burying his face in my neck and biting down on it, eliciting a moan of pleasure from me that I wasn't expecting.

I waited to feel the pain between my legs as he slowly slid inside me, ripping through me inch by inch, only to realize that Edward was laying perfectly still, already deep inside. The pain I anticipated, wasn't there, dulled by the bite I suppose. All I felt was an overwhelming urge to move my hips against his.

I reached up to him, pushing his hair from his face and smiled when I saw the worry in his eyes.

I bit my lip and moved my hips, testing the water. It was cool and inviting and I found myself moving against him, wrapping my legs around his waist. "Oh God, Edward!"

Immediately, at hearing my pleasure, he grabbed my ass and thrust in deeper. "God Damn it, Bella.", rocking into me rhythmically.

It was as if we had always know one another, familiar with the others body, anticipating each others moves.

I felt him twitch, before he grunted, "I can't hold out much longer."

He pulled back on his knees and brought me with him, straddling his hips. With this new angle, his hand went in between us and began rubbing my clit, causing spasms to shoot through my body. This was a completely new feeling and it brought me to new heights, as though I was floating away to heaven.

I was gasping for hair as I felt the coil unwind in my stomach.

"Come for me, baby." Edward commanded as I threw my head back, holding my breath as my body convulsed with my orgasm. Edward gripped my hips tightly and slammed into me once more, before pulling out and spilling his sex on my stomach.

I curled inside his arms and rest my head on his chest, thinking about what all we had been through and where we were headed. We were destined to be together. Why would we have made it through all of this, if God wanted us to live apart. I was put on this earth to love him and that was what I would do. Everyday of my life, I would love him and do whatever it took to keep him happy.

Forever...and ever....and ever.

* * *

**Okay, I never appreciated a good lemon the way I do now. Who knew it would be so hard to write (They're really easy to devour, right?). Anyway, I hope it works for you and I hope the whole Charlie and Jacob thing went over well. Hang on to you're hats.... there's more to come : )**


	16. Chapter 16

**Teenage Dirtbag**

**Chapter 16**

**EPOV:**

'Mmmmm', I hummed, as Bella's hand found its way down the front of my pants.

I didn't know how, but... God, she knew exactly what I wanted before _I_ did. She took her time, stroking me gently while straddling one of my legs, raking herself up and down its length. My dick jumped at the sight of her using me as a prop to give herself pleasure. The warmth of her wetness, seeping through the thick denim, caused my eyes to role back in my head. Reflexively, I moved my hips in rhythm with hers, which had now increased to a desperate pace. All of this, plus her teeth gnawing on my lips while invading my mouth with her tongue, gave just cause to spontaneously combust.

This wasn't like her, to be so assertive and take charge, but I liked it. I liked that she knew what to do and wasn't afraid to do it, grinding against me like a cat in heat and touching me with confidence and expertise. I had never seen her like this and wondered what had caused the change. But before I could gather my thoughts to ask, she took her talented hand away and began attacking my chest with her lips and teeth, each assault moving lower, inch by painstaking inch.

"Edward" she moaned in a deep voice, deeper than I had ever heard it.

"Hmmmm, Bella." I whispered, grabbing the back of her head, feeling it descend even further down my stomach.

"Edward?" Her voice getting deeper, almost masculine in tone.

_'This was not the time for questions...and, why was she sounding like Carlisle?'_

"Oh God, Bella, what ever it is, please don't stop." I begged, as she looked up at me taking me into her mouth, swallowing me whole.

That's when I heard a deep "Ahem". Bella kept her speed and I disregarded the warning.

"AHEM!" the sound got louder. 

_The fuck? _My eyes flew open and there I was, in my bed, thrusting my dick into a hand full of blanket while my dad stood in the doorway, arms crossed, laughing at my expense.

"Get the fuck out!" I screamed, reaching for the remote that was on my night stand and hurling it toward him with such force that, if it had been an inch more to the right, it would have embedded itself in his eye socket. But regrettably, I missed, and as I jumped up to slam the door shut I heard his laughter echoing down the hallway.

"God Damn It! Is there any privacy!" I screamed at the back of his head. He only laughed louder.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. Since I had gotten home from Bella's I had taken two cold showers, jerked off multiple times and watched an episode of The Golden Girls, not even coming close to relieving myself of the perma-boner that had taken residence in my pants. Her body had done wonderful and amazing things to me the night before and at the moment I came inside her I knew that I would never be the same again. Looking down at the wonderful and amazing_ thing_, I realized I was right.

Remembering last night and what had happened, only worsened the rigor mortis that had stricken my dick. My hand gripped around my girth tightly, ready to _unsuccessfully_ pump the thoughts out of my head when I began thinking about how good it felt sliding in and out of her. My callused, dry, jagged-nailed hand was no where close to the silkiness of her flesh enveloping me. I jerked my hand away in disgust and decided, that morning, that I wouldn't settle for empty comfort anymore. I would wait until I had Bella in my arms again... blue balls and all.

Eager to fulfill the promise I had just made to myself I hopped out of bed, anxious to see Bella, and hurried to the bathroom to take my third cold shower in 8 hours.

I walked into my tiny closet pushing through my hanging clothes, looking for something a little less offensive to wear. I was picking Bella up this morning and, wanting to make a better impression than the other night. I thought it would be a good idea to lose the concert T's and try on a more _mature_ look. Moving the clothes to the side one at a time, _no, no, no, hell no_, I plopped on the floor, huffing in defeat. There was nothing, nada, unless I wanted to wear the suit my mom bought me for Aunt Victoria's funeral, which had a burn hole in the jacket pocket from the lit joint I discarded there when almost caught with it in the parking lot. 

_Speaking of pot_, I leaned over to retrieve my paraphernalia from the old adidas box, when my eyes caught sight of the Wild Turkey liquor box marked **CARLISLE COLLEGE**. It was full of clothes from, like, 1989 that he kept with the hopes that not only would he fit into them again, but also, _by the grace of God_, they would somehow still be in style. I rifled through the acid-washed memories, digging to the bottom, when finally I found what I was looking for. I threw on the light blue oxford, smiling at its perfectness while smoothing out the 20 years worth of wrinkles the best I could. It was a little stiff but after rolling up the sleeves, I didn't look bad. I took a quick look in the mirror for damage control and almost didn't recongnize the _man_ that stared back, in nothing but an oxford, underwear and socks. Damn, I looked better than Tom Cruise in Risky Business.

After winking at myself, I pulled on a pair of dark denim jeans and ran down the stares, anxious to start the day. As I entered the kitchen, I heard mom gasp and a coffee cup fall to the floor.

"Oh My God! Edward had a girlfriend." She yelped out.

Carlisle just snorted and shook his head. "That explains what I walked in on this morning." He said taking a sip of his coffee.

Trying to figure out how she knew just by looking at me, I mumbled, "I gotta go." reaching for a poptart while trying to avoid Esme's kiss to no avail.

"Oh Carlisle, doesn't he look handsome. He's wearing the shirt you wore the night we.... uh, I mean, when we went to see that _movie_." She stuttered with a blush.

Dad pulled her to him and began kissing her neck, saying something about 'that being the best _movie_ he had ever _seen_ and that he couldn't wait to _watch_ it again tonight'.

Realizing what they were really talking about, I squeezed my eyes shut, shuttering at the thought of my parents' sexual prowess. Shaking the visual out of my head, I turned away from the _very_ uncomfortable scene and clinched my stomach as I made my way down the hall.

"Bring her home this weekend. I want to meet this mystery girl that's got my boy dressing like a gentleman." Esme yelled from the kitchen as I opened the front door.

"Great." I huffed, walking out of the house with my shoulders slumped and head down. I was never gonna hear the end of this. She had been on my ass for a year now saying "You need to meet a good girl that can settle you down, then you won't be so anxious all the time." I wished that I had just denied her allegations and then I could have saved myself from all the humiliation that was inevitable.

XxXxXxX

The door to my Malibu squeaked loudly as I stepped out, and groaned when I forced it closed again. _If they didn't already know I was there, they did now_. By the time I had reached her front door my nerves had taken full control of my body as I raised my, very noticeable, shaky hand to knock.

I waited...and waited. Then I tapped again, three times, taking a step back when I heard Charlie's deep voice, yell, "I'm coming, Jesus!"

When the door opened, Charlie stood with one hand on the knob and the other on his holstered gun, shiny with lethality.

"Um" Clearing my throat, I finally got out, "Is Bella ready?"

Without a word, he stepped aside, silently inviting me in and eying me with skepticism. The sound of foot steps tripping down the stairs broke the silence and we both watched in horror as Bella ungracefully broke her fall using the banister, saving herself from a possible concussion. She smiled at me shyly and pushed her hair from her face, trying to look casual and looking absolutely adorable in the process. All I could do was laugh under my breath and shake my head.

Just then the phone rang.

"I've got it." Charlie said, darting his eyes from me to Bella, huffing his disapproval.

Once he started into the kitchen, I quickly grabbed Bella by the hips and pushed her into the living room, giving her a wicked grin. Once her back hit the wall, my body slammed against her's followed by my mouth. "God, I've missed you.", I breathed, as her hands invaded my hair. "rrrrrr." I growled against her lips, shoving my tongue in her mouth, hungrily, tasting her with fervor. My hands were everywhere; on her ass, up her shirt, in her hair. I made sure I got as much of her as I could before Charlie could catch us. When I heard him hang up the phone, I desperately pressed my hips against her one last time, before breaking away from her completely.

"Edward" Charlie yelled from the kitchen.

My heart stopped, "FUCK!" I whispered, looking over at Bella. _I'm dead._

Bella's eyes widened, obviously worried about _me_ going in_ there_ with_ him_.

My breath was stuttered as I inhaled and blew out slowly, trying to relax the guilty look on my face.

"Yes sir?" I asked entering the kitchen. _'Calm the fuck down, man.'_ I said to myself, leaning against the door frame, casually.

Bella followed behind, taking her place at my side. _Even though she made a really** hot** bodyguard, I seriously doubted her ability to protect me from an armed man.  
_

"I need to talk to Edward alone, sweetheart. We'll only take a minute."

There was something in his eyes, other than his usual hatred for me. He seemed nervous, edgy even. I didn't hesitate in telling Bella, "It's okay. Go on to the car, I'll be out there in a minute._"  
_

She nodded, looking at me questioningly, before walking out.

Charlie started, "Look, Let's cut to the chase. I'm sure you've heard about what happened yesterday...?" He stopped, waiting for my answer.

I nodded in agreement and he continued. "I'm giving you this information in the strictest of confidence. I need your word that you won't repeat any of this to Bella."

Again I nodded, more hurried this time, signaling to him to get to the point.

"She told you what Jacob did." He said, ending his statement almost as a question, making sure we were on the same page.

I chimed in, giving him her account of the afternoon. "She said he broke in, but that you got here before anything happened.", I said, hearing my words and how wrong they sounded. _There was more to this story, than what she was offering me.  
_

He huffed out his disappointment and rubbed his forehead with his hand. "I wish I could say that was true, Edward. When I got home, Jacob had her locked in her bedroom with him, and when I busted it down I found her hysterical." He shook his head, lost in the memory. " She was crying and shaking.... He was gonna...... If I hadn't have gotten here in time, he would've..." Stuck on the word, he finally stopped, realizing he would never be able to say _it_.

I knew what he was saying and was devastated. _Why didn't she tell me? _My head was reeling, trying to wrap itself around the information I had just been given.

"After I kicked him out of the house, I called the station to have him picked up on Breaking an Entering and Assault charges. I knew_ I_ couldn't do it. If I had him in my custody, _alone_, I would have drove somewhere secluded and killed him." He said, smiling at the idea. _Remind me not to get on his bad side, ever again._

"Anyway, that was my partner. They couldn't find him. They went to his house and Billie told them that he never came home last night. Which means, he could be anywhere. Hell! He could be right outside of this god damn house for all we know." Charlie said, throwing his hands in the air.

He put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me, making sure I was heeding his words. "The reason I'm telling you all of this is because.... even though we have our differences, our goal is the same, and that's to keep Bella safe. She told me why you were over here the other night and that's what I need for you to do, Edward. I need for you to stay with her at school and keep an eye out for Jacob. I'd let her stay home, but I don't want to scare her and I would rather her not know what's going on. There will be a policeman patrolling outside the school, but he'll be blind to the inside. I want to keep this as low key as I can, so that we can catch him. Just do this favor for me and I'll owe you big time. I might even forget about all of your possession charges and let Bella...date you." He said, struggling with the last two words. "I'd rather have her dating a dirtbag, than not have her at all." He said mostly to himself.

"Thanks" I said sarcastically.

"Can I trust you to do this for me?" he asked, hopefully.

"Yes sir. Anything for Bella." I answered with assurance. She was my life now and I couldn't live in a world where she didn't exist.

XxXxXxX

We made our way to school in silence. I hated the thick tension that hovered over us, but I knew if I opened my mouth I would tell her everything... and I couldn't do that.

As we pulled up at school, unable to hold back any longer, Bella spat out, "Okay, what gives?"

I laughed nervously, putting the car in park, and threw my arm over the back of her seat and leaned in close, hoping to dazzle her into believing my lie. "Your dad just wanted to apologize for the other night, aaand... he also said that I could take you out this weekend. " I hid my traitor eyes, brushing my lips against hers as I spoke. Her breath smelled like peppermint and heaven as she exhaled the breath she had been holding since I invaded her space.

I kissed her slowly, taking my time, making up for my previous urgency. It took all I had not to throw her back on the seat and attack her like an animal.

I had forgotten about my cumbersome _problem_, but became painfully aware of it when she moved over to my side with cat-like grace, straddling me with my _problem_ nestled between her legs.

"Two can play this game, Edward." She whispered against my lips. "Now, what did my father _really_ say to you. And remember... you can make this easy, or, you can make this hard." She growled out, thrusting her hips against mine.

I Hissed, "Oh, God, Bella. I want you so bad right now."

She pulled away giggling. "It's good to want things. And you might even get it, if you tell me what happened this morning."

I sighed as she left me cold and alone, moving to her side. " I told you, Bella, he just wanted to apologize and to tell me that it was okay for me to take you out.... Sooooo?" I waited for her answer.

Her eyes narrowed at me while she chewed on her lip, either debating whether I was telling the truth or trying to decide if she wanted to go out with me. I hoped it wasn't the later of the two.

A smile spread across her face and that's all it took for me to throw myself across the seat, pulling her underneath me as I assaulted her mouth with kiss after kiss, working myself up yet again.

**BPOV:**

I knew he wasn't telling me the truth, but right now, I didn't really care. I didn't care about anything other than the feel of his lips on my mouth. They were soft and wet and moved at a perfect speed with mine. Just as I began thinking of a way to get him to ditch class, the door swung open behind me, causing my upper body to fall half way out of the car. Thank God, Edward caught me and we both looked up to see Alice and Jasper standing over us, laughing like asses.

"Damn you two, get a fucking room." Jasper howled. Alice wiped at her eyes, trying to catch her breath from the fit.

"Ha ha ha." Edward mocked, pulling himself up and me with him. "Don't you have a joint to be rolling?" He added, throwing a bag of weed at his head.

It was as if watching a dog with a bone. He caught the bag with one hand and immediately sat in the back seat and attacked the contents with his nimble fingers. Alice joined him, but kept her eyes on us.

"So, Mr. Cullen, what's up with the clothes?" Alice asked, eying Edward's shirt.

He smiled at me and answered, "I just wanted to make a good impression with Charlie, is all." not taking his eyes off me.

"Hmm." she said, looking at us with suspicion.

I turned back to Edward and caught his eyes still on me. They were the deepest shade of green and I could almost see his thoughts deep within them. He was back in my room, in my bed, and I allowed myself to join him in the memory. I watched as he held on to me tightly, invading my soul with each thrust. The vision was surreal and made me wet and needy, and just as I began to drown everything else out, I heard Alice gasp, "OH. MY. GOD!"

Edward and I both snapped out of our trance and turned toward Alice, "What!" we yelled in unison, scared of what she had seen. I began looking around the car expecting to see a tarantula or something and Edward began scanning his eyes nervously around the parking lot. _What was that for?_

"Oh my God, I knew something was different about you two, but I couldn't put my finger on it." Alice said, giggling.

"What are you talking about, freak?" I asked, confused.

"You got laid!"

At that, Jasper finally looked up from his task and said, "Holy fucking shit balls! Is this true, Edward. You finally did the deed?"

I knew my face had to have been ten shades of red, because Edward's was five. The awkward silence was deafening and their accusing stares began burning through my skin. I had to escape before Alice could say anything else, so I reached for the handle and quickly stepped out with my messenger bag and what was left of my dignity. How could she call me out like that in front of them? She had no tact, no couth. Did her mother not teach her basic manners for society?

I heard the driver side door open and Edward seething, "It's none of your God damn business, so piss off!" leaned his back against the car door. Alice had stepped out by this time and was standing beside me, mouthing off to him with sarcasm. "How is someone suppose to '_piss off_'? I mean really, what the hell does that even mean, _piss off_?..."

I watched Edward as she continued her philosophical rant on the subject of _pissing off _and noticed that he wasn't anymore listening to what she was saying, than I was. He looked distracted, as if he was searching for something or someone. A nervous expression shown on his face, his lips in a tight line and brows furrowed in concentration. I began scanning the lot, confused as to why he was acting this way, to only become even more confused.

"Why do I even bother? No one listens to me anyway." Alice finished, huffing her frustration.

"I'm listening, baby." Jasper comforted, taking a discreet hit off the lit joint and attacking her mouth with his, driving the smoke in her lungs.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Edward, who was still looking for the lost city of Atlantis somewhere in the parking spaces to the left of us.

"Find what you're looking for?" I asked nudging his side.

Finally getting his attention, he relaxed and smiled, pulling me to him by my hips. "Sure did. She's right here in my arms." And gave me a small peck before wrapping his long arms around my waist, hugging me tightly with his face in the crook of my neck.

"I love you so much." He said, stressing each word.

Hearing the anxiousness in his voice, it dawned on me why he was acting so weird and pulled away from him slightly to look into his worried eyes. "Hey.... He's not here."

Edward's head fell and I put both hands on the sides on his face and forced him to look at me again. "Jacob wouldn't have the nerve to show his face here after what he did." Surely he would stay away, knowing that Charlie would kill him if he fucked with me again.

Edward only nodded slightly, smiling at me with sad eyes.

"Anyway, I'm in too much of a good mood to let him spoil my high." I added, taking the, now half smoked, joint away from Jasper and taking a hit. I grabbed on to the back of Edward's head and pushed the smoke in his mouth with my tongue. He gasped, taking it in his lungs, then hummed it out of his nose while still kissing me with passion.

God, he made me weak. His kisses were too erotic for school and made me want to take him behind the building and do naughty things to him. And as I was picturing myself as this dominatrix, dragging him into the unknown, I was startled at the sound of the bell. It not only meant the start of the day but also the end of my time with Edward. But, no worries.... I was already busy making plans for the weekend and my new found libido.

_Watch out Edward... Here I come._

_I'm so addicted to_  
_ All the things you do_  
_ When you're going down on me_  
_ In between the sheets_  
_ Or the sound you make_  
_ With every breath you take_  
_ It's not like anything_  
_ When you're loving me_

**_'Addicted' by Saving Abel_**

* * *

**Okay, people, another chapter for your enjoyment. Review, review, review. I appreciate all you guys that take the time to give me a 'shout out' and I wish that more of you would. Your opinion means a lot to me. You don't know how excited I get when I read what you have to say... it's like Christmas all over again. Send some love and I'll send more chapters : ) _I'll send more chapters regardless, I'm not that much of a bitch._ Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!**


	17. Chapter 17

_*Down on my knees, begging for forgiveness*_

I know, it's been a month of Sundays since I updated last, and I deserve anything and everything you have to dish out, but I am here to try and get back in your good graces... AND to add a new chapter (Yaaayyyy!)

Since I last updated, I have added this to story to the Twilighted website. As I submit the chapters, I am rewriting them... not changing the plot, but trying to add more personality to the characters and crucial details that seemed to have been missing in this version. I have to admit, the new chapters of 50% better. As I change the chapters, I am changing them on here as well. So, along with this new chapter, I have replaced chapters 1-5 with the revised chapters from Twilighted... check them out and learn more about out two favorite characters : )

Oh! And a big thanks to all of you who have added this story to your favorites and story alerts... Every time someone adds it, an angel gets their wings : )

**Just a quick note about this chapter...**

This is Jacob's POV and is a little darker than my usual style of writing and starts after Charlie has thrown him out of the house when he finds him with Bella. I had to give him the chance to tell_ his_ side of the story... It was only fair. So, forgive me in advance for the filthy obscenity on your screen.

_Jacob has one sick and twisted mind..._

Without further adieu, may I introduce Jacob and his multiple personalities : )

* * *

_Previously..._

_"Get the fuck out of my house and don't you ever come back... And don't worry, Billie will know exactly what went on over here. Do you understand me?" Then the door slammed closed._

**Teenage Dirtbag**

**Chapter 17**

**_Jacob's POV_**

"That little bitch!" I hissed with rage, fleeing from her house, breaking through the thick woods that bordered the road.

She had betrayed me yet again, not heeding my words and the truth in them. All she had to do was keep her fucking mouth shut. But no, she couldn't do that one simple thing. And now, after being man-handled and thrown out of her house by her foolish father, I found myself hiding behind the tree line, pacing back and forth along the outskirts of her back yard.

I stood in the shadows, focusing my attention on the light coming from her bedroom window, fighting the urge to climb inside and finish what I had started. With my eyes on the prize, my thoughts turned black as I thought about the events that had led me here, in this spot, to decide her fate.

* * *

The voices were restless today. I couldn't seem to calm them no matter how hard I tried. Sometimes, I could shut them up by slamming my fist into a wall, and other times I would pound them relentlessly into Jessica's pussy for safe keeping. But today was different. Today they were loud and persistent, repeating themselves over and over again.

_M_a_ke. Her. Yours_.

They knew what I really wanted, what would satisfy their appetite and quiet them forever. It wasn't the pain from my fist busting through drywall or the stink of Jessica's lukewarm cunt. I only wanted what was rightfully mine… Bella… Plain and fucking simple.

Giddy with anticipation, I had walked out of school 30 minutes before the last bell, not caring if I was caught, knowing I could talk my way out of it. Hell, I could talk my way out of anything when it came to this bunch of backwoods simpletons. I was a fucking god at this school. Everyone wanted to be me. Christ, even the teachers tripped over themselves to be in my presence, finding any excuse to talk to me or have me stay over a few extra minutes after class.

The fact that everybody else loved me, only made me even more confused as to why the hell _Bella_ didn't want me. She was plain and homely, and had nothing to offer other than her virginity. She should have been fucking grateful that I did her dad the favor of letting her hang out with me.

It wasn't like I wanted to.

After seeing her at the house when she first came into town, I was completely turned off by her flat chest and no ass. Not to mention, the baggy clothes she was hiding it all under. She was weird, shy, unsociable… We had absolutely nothing in common. But Billy wouldn't shut up about it.

"Come on Jake. Charlie's a good friend of mine and Bella's a nice enough girl."

It wasn't until he offered to give me the rest of the money I needed to buy my car that I finally agreed.

We hung out a couple of times before we actually went on our first date. And to tell you the truth, I had all intentions of dump her ass that night… until I kissed her. She had the lips of a porn star, and I couldn't stop thinking about how good they would feel wrapped around my cock.

Every moment after that was devoted to my ultimate goal of having her tongue sliding up my rod. But, it didn't take long for me to realize that it was going to be harder than I thought. My advances were getting desperate and were getting blocked from every angle. Out of disappointment and anger at not getting what I wanted, it quickly became my mission to not only have my dick in her _mouth_, but to have it in _her_ while she screamed my name. I had made bets with half of the football team, that I would take her cherry before school started.

And here we were, three months into school, her virginity still in tact, and our relationship… not.

That fucking dirtbag, Cullen, had moved in on _my_ territory and had stolen _my_ girl. I knew what he was after and I wasn't about to let that shit go down. If anyone was entitled to her virtue, it was me. I had put in too much time and effort to willingly giving up what had always been mine. Today was the day. I was going to take it, with or without her permission. She owed me for my pain and suffering and I was determined to get what I was due.

With that in mind, I slid my car in drive and barreled out of the parking lot of school.

Pulling into the gravel driveway in front of her house, the voices in my head became deafening and unrelenting in their demand.

_Make. Her. Yours. Make. Her. Yours. _

I punched the steering wheel, gritting my teeth with the pain, trying to quiet their echo and stop the tremors that were racking my body. That's when I heard it, a faint voice, pleading with me, breaking through the chaos in my head.

_This is wrong. Don't do it. Turn back. _

I squeezed my eyes tighter, listening to the words, concentrating on _them_ instead of the loud evil that was screaming in my ears. There was a small part of me that knew this wasn't right, knew that I was losing both my mind and my control. But the other part of me, that wanted her, was all consuming and unwilling to back down.

_Take her! Make her yours! Now or never!_

I threw open the car door and jumped to my feet, trembling with both anxiety and excitement over what I was about to do. The animal in me foamed at the mouth and panted with impatience as I climbed the steps of the front porch.

The front door was locked, not that it mattered. Having snuck in once before, I knew it would be easy to open.

A couple of months earlier I had found myself in the same exact spot, eclipsed by the moonlight, contemplating the same exact thing I was now resolved to do; taking what was mine and what she had been denying me for so long. It was as simple as sliding my license between the door and the frame, and with a slight nudge, I was in her home and in her room.

That night, and not so deep into the relationship, the voices were merely whispers and easily sated. While watching her sleep, I was able to silence them by jacking off to thoughts of my cock between her legs, pumping into her while she screamed and scratched at my skin.

Shaking the memory from my mind, I shifted my dick in my pants and stretched my neck from side to side, feeling the bones crack and the tension subside. This time, Bella would be awake and the voices wouldn't be so easily silenced. They had made their demands and there would be no negotiations.

After only one pass of my license between the crack of the door, it opened, welcoming me with a shrill creak.

I stepped one foot inside and looked around. It was quiet and dark, unlike my head, which was filled with red rage, inciting retribution.

I quietly climbed the stairs and walked into her bedroom.

Immediately, I was assaulted by her scent, strong and sublime. And as I drew in a shaky breath, my mouth watered with the taste of her on my tongue. She was delicious, like candy, and I found myself needing to hold her, touch her, kiss her.

A pain hit my chest like a brick, hard and direct, causing me to double over. I was consumed, plagued, by a feeling of anger?... despair?... heartbreak?

Whatever it was, this emotion was completely foreign to me. I tried to shake it off, standing to my feet and taking in another deep breath, along with more of her.

Another pain hit, harder than before, bringing me to my knees.

_What the hell is happening to me?_

As my knees hit the floor, my eyes closed tight, images of Bella flashing in my head... her beautiful smile, her kind eyes. As they pulsed in and out, the voices got louder and louder.

_She's nothing! She's worthless!_

"She's everything," I whispered absently.

My eyes flew open at that moment, when I realized what I had just said... and why.

_I love her._

I was in love with Bella Swan, and had been since the day I met her, but I never allowed myself to feel it and embrace it. I didn't believe in love. Love controlled you, left you powerless and weak. That wasn't me, it couldn't be me, and I wasn't going to let it be me. I fought it, denying _myself_ of what I wanted, so that _I_ had the upper hand... _I _was in control.

The sound of the front door opening downstairs, roused me from my thoughts and the voices from their short slumber.

_It's time._

I stilled and listened.

"Daaaad?"

I heard the floorboards creak with her steps, first in the living room then in the kitchen.

After a moment of silence she was on the phone talking to Charlie.

I concentrated on her voice, trying to make out her words, and shot to the door when I heard my name.

"Before you say anything else, we need to talk... about Jacob. You're not going to like what I have to say, but regardless, you need to hear it. I'll see you at dinner."

My anger only grew at the thought of her damning me to her dad.

_Why doesn't she want me? Why can't she just love me the way I fucking love her._

Her foot hit the first step and I darted behind the door… and waited.

When she walked through the door, she stopped at her bed and put down her bag, gazing in the mirror in front of her.

As soon as I saw her reflection, beautiful and perfect, I stepped out from my hiding place and into her view.

"W...What are you doing here, Jacob?" she stuttered, wrapping her arms around her body protectively.

My arms ached, wanting to hold her, wanting her to _let_ me to hold her. But that wasn't going to happen. She didn't want me… she wanted _him_.

I twitched involuntarily and shh'ed her as I locked the door, dimishing any hope she had of escaping.

"Am I not good enough for you?" My hands shook uncontrollably, fighting the urge to reach out to her, wanting to _hold_ her, wanting to _hurt _her.

She stiffened her stance, trying to look confident in her answer and false innocence.

"What are you talking about Jacob?"

That stupid bitch knew exactly what I was talking about and it killed me to hear her dismiss my question as if I didn't even matter enough for her to answer it.

"What am I _talking_ about! Bella, you know you're mine, but you keep fighting me. Why do you do that?"

At that point, I couldn't hold myself back any longer. I took a step toward her, closing the distance between where I was and what I wanted.

"Jacob, stay where you are. Don't come any closer. I've got a gun right under my bed and I can reach _it_ faster than you can reach me. So stay back."

Lies. All lies.

"I don't believe you."

To test my theory of her constant lies and deceit, I took another step forward, causing her to stumble backward and revealing her as the deceiver that she really was.

_"Now's your chance!" _the voices shouted in unison, controlling my mind and body, propelling me in her direction.

With my hand around her throat, I peered underneath her bed and wasn't surprised when I saw nothing but a dusty book and a rusted tin box.

I pulled her closer, forcing her to look me in the eyes and admitted, "You never were a good liar," before throwing her back against the bed.

She tryed to gain some control over her situation by rambling another lie; this one involving Charlie and how he was expected home any minute, only making herself sound even more terrified and desperate.

She was in complete denial of the fact that Charlie trusted, loved me, thought of me as his own son. He would have never believed that I meant her any harm... _Although I did... Immensely._

I laid down beside her, and unable to fight the urge any longer, I pushed her shirt up to her ribs and began rubbing slow circles over her trembling stomach.

"Now, you and I both know that Charlie loves me, probably more than he loves you, and wants to see us together. Don't you want to make daddy happy?"

My hand trailed up to her breasts as I massaged them, working myself into a frenzy of which I knew there would be no return.

The tear that escaped her eye, glistened on her cheek, making me want to taste it, taste her panic and fear. As I leaned over, I ran my tongue along its trail until the tiny drop absorbed into my tastebuds, salty and sweet.

"Give yourself to me. I'll get want I want in the end, Bella, " I whispered in her ear, feeling my dick get hard at the realization that I had her right where I wanted her.

Pulling her to me, running my hands down her frail human body and my mouth over her exposed throat, I warned, "As if you could outrun _me_. As if you could fight _me_ off."

I rolled my body over, hovering between her legs, and pressed my excitement into her with a grunt. This was it, what I had been waiting for, and now she was going to be mine... body and soul. Nothing could stop me now.

"Bella? Where are you?" Charlie's voice ripped its way through the fog of my euphoria.

Before she had a chance to scream, my hand flew to her mouth.

"Don't say a fucking word, or you're dead," and if it came to it, he would be too. I only hoped that she would heed my warning. Charlie had nothing to do with this and I didn't want to make this any harder than it had to be.

I quickly stood to my feet, trying to compose myself, when I heard his heavy footfalls coming up the stairs.

The knob on her bedroom door shook as Charlie tried to enter unsuccessfully.

"Bella, are you in there?"

My finger went to my mouth, silently reminding her of my warning before she had any thought of answering. But, before I could stop her, she gave me up... ratted me out to her father.

The door flew open and suddenly Charlie's hand was on my chest, holding me against the wall and away from Bella.

"Bella, what's going on. Are you alright?" His eyes never left mine, watching me and my every move.

Everything after that was a blur of yelling, pushing, falling... then the feeling of the cold hard ground of their front yard under my back.

* * *

Now, here I was, under the trees outside her house with nothing but time on my hands to plot my next move.

It wasn't like I could go home. Charlie had made it clear that Billie would know what had happened and that meant I wouldn't be able to lie my way out of it this time.

Billie loved me, but was the only person that I was never able to fool. It was like he could see the beast raging inside me. Sometimes, when he looked at me, I could have sworn there was pity in his eyes. He knew I wasn't stable, and had treated me as such; taking care of me when my rage got out of hand, consoling me before I could lose control and do something reckless.

_Oh God, where was he now when I needed him most._

Billie was the one person I could always count on, and now, he would never look at me the same. I had sealed my fate and now had nothing left to lose.

At that realization, I sat under the trees, watching and waiting and finding solace in my plans for revenge.

During my wait, a cop car had arrived and set up surveillance in front of the house. The idea that a cop needed a cop to protect him and his daughter, made me laugh. After a couple of hours or so, Charlie's bedroom light when out, but Bella's stayed on.

_She's waiting for something... She waiting for someone. _

I found comfort in the voices return. They had been quiet for some time now and I was beginning to get lonely. Now I had a companion, someone who knew me and wanted the same thing I wanted and would make sure I got it.

My eyes began to get heavy and I found myself nodding off every so often, my head falling over and jerking myself awake. I couldn't sleep. I had things to do, plans to make.

My eyes few open after I had nodded off for... who knows how long, and that's when I saw him; Edward, climbing the tree by her window and crawling inside.

_He's what she wants, not you. Its his name that she'll be panting while she's riding his cock.  
_

The voices, my only companions, were turning on me. They were no longer consoling, but agitating, taking pleasure in my anguish.

My eyes saw red as I stood to my feet, wondering what they were doing, pacing with the visuals of what they had said ran rampant through my head.

_He's fucking her. He's slamming into her up against her wall._

The voices were laughing at me and making the visuals even more clear and definite.

Before I knew it, I was I climbing the tree that I had been hiding under, making my way to the top to satisfy my wondering mind.

Once I could go no further, I settled on a thick branch sticking out over the yard and hesitantly looked to her window. Even though I had already assumed what they were doing, it didn't make seeing it any easier. Bella was straddling Edwards lap, the both of them moving together toward the same goal. Her mouth was open, eyes closed, face flushed; a vision of pure ecstasy that I had once thought I would see while she was in _my_ arms, in _my_ bed.

As sick as it made me, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I watched it all; his name leaving her mouth, her body trembling as she came, and her collapsing in his arms... not _mine_.

I closed my eyes, grabbing the sides of my head, the beast screaming out in pain.

The voices resumed and were louder than ever, consuming any part of my sanity that was left.

I had to get away, I had to leave before I wasn't able to, before I did something I wasn't able to take back.

Scared of the violence in my thoughts, I jumped from the tree and ran.

I ran from the temptation.

I ran from the opportunity.

I ran from the voices in my head telling me to_ "Kill him... Kill them both!"_

_

* * *

_

**_Okay... I warned ya. So what did you think about our little psycho? Do you still hate him or do you pity him? I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject... Let's take a poll. Are you a hater or a sympathizer? _**


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